Curiously Absent

By: sooz
Date: 1/22/98 6:55:02 PM
# Replies: 62

After doing a "Read All", I've noticed that the latest Clinton affair (whadda play on words) hasn't been mentioned once on this bbs.

I think it's because no one, other than the media, gives a holy grunt.

Response #1
By: Da Sissop
Date: 1/22/98 8:51:10 PM

According to a poll conducted by Time/CNN/WebNuns, a whopping 76% of Americans said that visualizing the pale, puffy President naked was "profoundly disturbing."

Despite this new scandal, the President's approval rating has remained stable. And in one demographic, American males 18-35, his popularity has actually increased, with 62% saying his taste in women seems to be improving.

Response #2
By: Gowan McGland
Date: 1/23/98 1:05:49 AM

Now, see, that's what *I* don't get.

He's the friggin' President of the United States. Why is it he seems to have a proclivity for patently unattractive (and to be honest, on the verge of repellent) women?

And the GOP has their hand so far up Kenneth Starr's ass, they can touch his bloody tonsils.

Response #3
By: Da Sissop
Date: 1/23/98 8:48:25 AM

Yeah, what's the friggin' *Whitewater* investigator doing wiring interns to try to catch the President with his pants down?

Response #4
By: Da Sissop
Date: 1/24/98 6:32:20 AM

I think that Monica Lewinsky, on at least one occasion, gave the President some oral "secret service," probably largely for the perceived thrill of being able to say she had done it.

The President gave her his usual spiel about how "This never happened, if anyone ever asks, deny it."

She saluted, and promptly went out and told all her friends that she gave the President a blowjob. Hey, they didn't *ask*, right?"

Later, when somebody *asked*, she denied it. Unfortunately, she was under oath.

The President didn't really *mean* for her to commit perjury when he said to deny it, and she, being a scared and confused kid, probably either didn't fully consider the implications of signing a knowingly bogus sworn affidavit, or else she thought it would be *worse* to tell the truth and betray the President of the United States.

So now it's a big unfortunate mess.

Normally I would say that I don't *care* about the President's sex life... I think he's been a good President, and the thought of "President Gore" gives me the [slick] willies. In a generic sense, I don't think a President should be impeached for committing adultery and saying "don't tell anyone."

In this case, whether fair or not, the President's sex life and allegations of sexual impropriety have been in the spotlight for his entire Presidency, and he's denied and denied, and indicated any indiscretions on his part are a thing of the past. This incident threatens to expose him as a habitual liar. And intentional or not, the harmless little phrase "deny it" resulted in another person committing perjury for him. And what about Hillary? Will she forgive and forget, and continue to "stand by her man," a la Tammy Wynette? Or would the last two years of Clinton's Presidency be preoccupied with divorce proceedings?

For *this* President, in *this* case, I say we go ahead and dump 'im.

Oh, er, unless the allegations turn out to be false and it all blows over, in which case, umm... nevermind.

Response #5
By: Zane T. Dark
Date: 1/24/98 2:05:24 PM

Hmmm, I suppose for me it's not so much *what* he's done in his sex life...ultimately that really falls into the 'none 'o my bidness' area, but the habitual liar part is going to end him up in jail if he ain't careful. Consider this...if he's only guilty of..say..5% of the things he's alleged to have done while he's been in office (not counting being a state gov.)..that would be enough to send any one of us to jail for 4 lifetimes. *That* bugs me..

Response #6
By: Gowan McGland
Date: 1/24/98 3:01:21 PM

Here's my two cents on the whole thing.

I don't care. Unless it severely affected his ability to carry out his duty as President of the United States, I don't give a damn what the hell he does. If he walks around the White House in the nude while tours are going through, I don't care. If he calls people from his office to get money for his party, I don't care. If he's using his office as leverage for something, well, I don't care. You know why? Because everyone does it. He just happens to have the most powerful job around. He's certainly giving plenty of himself to BE president, it's not like it's a cakewalk. So, he takes something back. Big Deal. If he's screwing around with his staff and interns and it's consentual, I DON'T CARE.

What happened to respecting the office of the Presidency? I think that during an election year, you can root for whoever you want, you can campaign for the other guy, you can give as much support and money as you'd like to whoever you feel will better do the job. If that person doesn't win, you should support whoever did win, though. Why can't people say, "You know, my candidate didn't win, but damnit, you're our President now, and I'm behind you."

I don't expect anyone to understand or agree with me, but that's the way I feel about it.

Response #7
By: Cleotis
Date: 1/24/98 3:20:56 PM

1993: "Gennifer has never seen my willie..."
1996: "Paula has never seen my willie..."
1998: "Monica has never seen my willie..."
1998: "Well, Gennifer really did see my willie...
1999: "Well, Paula really did see my willie..."
2000: "Hell, all of Washington has seen my willie..."

I don't buy it. Clinton's a liar with a sex drive the size of Arkansas.

Response #8
By: rorschach
Date: 1/24/98 3:22:27 PM

Gowand, I DO understand, and I DO agree. so far, clinton has muddled through fairly well, primarily because he let greenspan call the shots and did what his far more intelligent advisers told him to do. i think most of his failures, if you were able to research this, probably resulted from his attempt to ad-lib on his own(beleiving his press a bit too much). the fact that for the most part he's been smart enough to let the real pros call the shots is an indication of his wisdom, if not his intelligence. basically, this guy is doing NOTHING that just about every OTHER president hasn't done over the years. you dont jail a dog for pissing on a fire hydrant, you realize that he's just being a dog. you don't jail a president for boinking his intern, you realize that he's just being a politician

Response #9
By: Da Sissop
Date: 1/24/98 3:38:15 PM

I agree with ya, more or less, Gowan. The simple fact that this President has had so many people OUT TO GET HIM on something, *anything*, since day one... frankly, *that* disgusts me more anything.

On the other hand, what does it say about his judgement when he *knows* he's under such intense scrutiny by his opponents, and yet he STILL CARRIES ON with these types of extramarital affairs?

Ya know what I think? If Lewinsky comes out and says yes, she *did* suck the President, but no, he never told her to perjure herself... and if the President comes out and admits that yes, he *did* receive a few blowjobs here and there, but he didn't think it was adultery since the word "blowjob" doesn't appear anywhere in the Bible... and if Hillary comes out and says oh well, these things happen every now and then, no big whoop...

...then I suppose I'd say okay, I'll give him another chance.

But even in the BEST-CASE scenario, I wonder about how effective a President he can continue to be. Will the populace still respect the man holding the office? Will other world leaders snicker and refer to him as President Blowjob?

Response #10
By: Ralf
Date: 1/24/98 4:55:38 PM

Gowan's right; I don't care.

My only gripe is that he didn't come clean right up front.

"Hell YES I had a blow-job! It was wonderful! Y'all should give it a try sometime. Next question...?"

Response #11
By: Roxanne
Date: 1/26/98 8:21:50 PM

Hmmm...once upon an Mtv special, Clinton was asked "Is it boxers or briefs?"

Now the question will be "Did she spit or swallow?"

Response #12
By: Jay
Date: 1/27/98 1:07:55 PM

I liked Stuttering Johns question to Jennifer Flowers when she had her big news conference about her affair with Bill: "So, did Governor Clinton wear a condom?"

She had no response.

Response #13
By: Da Sissop
Date: 1/27/98 1:55:43 PM

Response #14
By: Da Sissop
Date: 1/27/98 7:27:24 PM

Got Clinton?

Response #15
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 1/27/98 11:11:57 PM

Quick! In your mind, picture Henry VIII, ruler of England and the rest of that blessed empire. Think of what your picture of dear Henry is... Is he wearing a crown? Does he have a SCEPTER? IS HE WEARING A CODPIECE?

Henry was this guy who forever alienated his country from the largest religious power of the time, SO HE COULD GET LAID. Now THAT'S a ruler (so to speak)!

I want to see Clinton similarly adorned. Scepter. Codpiece. The leader of a land should be the most potent in the land... That's just how it works, baby! Its just too bad the US was settled by puritans.

Response #16
By: Da Sissop
Date: 1/28/98 3:05:17 PM

Response #17
By: Da Sissop
Date: 1/29/98 10:09:58 AM

Ralf sent me this one... not sure where it originated, but I like it.

Response #18
By: sooz
Date: 1/29/98 7:18:54 PM

It's my wallpaper now. I love the web.

Response #19
By: Cleotis
Date: 2/23/98 4:41:53 PM

I hear Monica Lewinsky's got a new line on her resume.

Something about sitting on the White House Staff...

Response #20
By: Ralf
Date: 2/23/98 6:28:31 PM

Badum-Bump!

Ya know, she ALMOST caused us to go to war with Iraq.

Response #21
By: rorschach
Date: 2/24/98 12:12:57 PM

man, how would you like to have THAT on your consience......

Response #22
By: Ralf
Date: 2/25/98 6:40:54 PM

Think what she would've caused if it'd progressed beyond oral sex.

Response #23
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 2/26/98 6:01:39 AM

Wait.. Whaddaya mean SHE?

Response #24
By: Ralf
Date: 2/26/98 9:11:46 PM

Well, he didn't FORCE her to have sex with him.

He's just the defenseless leader of the free country.

He doesn't WANT to bomb Iraq...

Response #25
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 2/27/98 7:32:41 AM

You're totally missing my point, Ralf...

I mean, is the woman ALWAYS supposed to be responsible for the Iraq-Contraceptives?

(forgive me. I just watched that PBS special on Ronald Reagan. the eerie thing is, I like him more now.)

Response #26
By: Da Sissop
Date: 2/27/98 7:58:44 AM

(in eerie monotone...)

Yes... he.. was.. the greatest president... of all... time....

Response #27
By: Ralf
Date: 2/27/98 11:15:14 AM

Who is the greatest audioanimatronic president of all time?

Response #28
By: rorschach
Date: 2/27/98 6:11:46 PM

Homer, lets be honest, if it is going to bother anybody's concience it would have to be hers, he's a shameless politician, of COURSE he doesn't have a concience.....

Response #29
By: Gowan McGland
Date: 2/28/98 3:04:47 PM

There was a guy on Politically Incorrect the other night that was the chairman of a group of RonnieWorshippers.

They're trying to get a street in every major city in the US named after Ronnie and they're even taking up collections and signatures to get ol' Ron's visage added to Mount Rushmore.

Response #30
By: rorschach
Date: 2/28/98 7:26:54 PM

would that be the image of him sleeping in the cabinet meetings?

Response #31
By: sooz
Date: 2/28/98 8:18:08 PM

I've seen him referred to as "America's most loved president." Reagan, that is. Most loved by whom? I suppose in a gradfatherly way, maybe....

Response #32
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 2/28/98 10:06:23 PM

I think I came away liking him more just because of the images of him at 87 with altzheimer's disease, weilding chainsaws and cutting limbs from trees on his ranch.

A very likeable asshole.

Response #33
By: Ralf
Date: 3/1/98 1:25:17 PM

He was the only president we've had who openly acknowleged that SDI was intended to prevent an attack from outer space.

And he WASN'T talking about Mir...

Response #34
By: Cleotis
Date: 3/1/98 4:54:41 PM

Another reason to think Billy Graham is da bomb:

He believes in extraterrestrial life. I don't know if he's referring to Greys or not, but the fact that when a guy like Billy can admit it tells me that I'm not totally off base when I BELIEVE what I hear on Art Bell's radio show!

Check this out if you don't get Art Bell in your city

Response #35
By: Jay
Date: 3/2/98 10:50:57 AM

Chester A Aurthur in 2000!

Response #36
By: Ralf
Date: 3/2/98 6:33:48 PM

Cleo, I'm curious.

What's Mr.Graham's take on such ET life? Do they have souls?

In whose maker's image are they made? Or are we talking about figurative images, as in "made in your makers' image" referring to some spiritual/non-physical aspect...?

Does the Christ story pervade other planets? (Was Nogghg stapled to a V'rrachht trunk for their sins?)

How about other bible stories, such as creation, Adam & Eve, etc.?

Is there a FAQ with this kind of stuff in it?

Response #37
By: sooz
Date: 3/2/98 7:32:08 PM

Oh, man... now I've gotta go find Richie, 'cuz he's big into explaining how dinosaurs work into creation and that sort of thing. He'd dig this conversation.

It's all immaterial to me, since I'm more a "live in the present" sort, and did my philosophizing in my sophomore year of college. I'll leave history to you historians.

Response #38
By: Cleotis
Date: 3/2/98 11:21:39 PM

RE: Billy Graham

Well, the comment that I heard was kind of made in passing. It was something vague about him believing that God quite likely created life on other planets that he chose not to reveal to us in the Bible. I wish I had more accounts of it. In fact, it came to me second hand from a big Billy fan (who I count as a very credible witness).

You bring up the exact same questions that I have as a Christian, Ralf. Since Christi is the one and only son of God, did God give them a book giving them an account of Christ's time here and his crucifixion and resurrection? Or, did God simply create them as "perfect", so that they wouldn't NEED a savior? Or, (the least Biblically likely of the possible scenarios) as you hinted at, did God send Jesus to die AGAIN on THEIR home planet for THEIR sins?

Some churches will tell you that it's a "sin" to ask such questions. I'm a pretty face-value kind of guy - I don't spend a lot of time with my head in the clouds philosophizing and reading ancient texts. Heck, I can't even follow an RPG for too long at a time. However, UFO's have, since childhood, intrigued me.

I don't swallow the abduction / lost time thing, but I do know that there is something unexplainable flying around in the skies above the world, and many people (not just no-toothed trailer trash) have seen something very real that they cannot explain. Maybe it's military, I dunno - but Roswell was real. Something was found out there in the desert, and the government doesn't want us to know about it.

My $.02.

Response #39
By: Hijinx
Date: 3/4/98 5:01:43 PM

OK, here's my take on it...I am also a Christian, but I've got my ideas about all this UFO stuff as well. I kinda think that when the Antichrist comes on the scene-defiles the rebuilt temple of Solomon by going in and declaring himself God-and the rapture happens, he's got to explain all the missing Christians somehow...mass abduction and releasing all Top Secret files from years past might be enough to deceive a lot of people...I dunno, though. I am a lot like Mike when it comes to trying to figure it all out, I'm quite all right knowing what I know, and believing what I believe.

For another interesting perspective, check out Yeshua the King.Org. This guy has definitely got some interesting theories.

Response #40
By: Da Sissop
Date: 3/4/98 8:24:03 PM

Don't let me interrupt this line of thought, but Gowan sent me this pic related to the earlier Clinton Sex Machine scandal discussion...

Response #41
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 3/6/98 2:07:43 AM

The space aliens are Yet Another Weird Thing that is supposed to challenge us into acknowledging the mystery.

End of discussion.

Next?

Response #42
By: Da Sissop
Date: 3/6/98 7:42:23 AM

That's what you *want* us to think.

(He's got NO SENSE of SMELL... he's one of THEM!)

Response #43
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 3/6/98 9:01:28 PM

sigh. no one got the joke.

Response #44
By: Ralf
Date: 3/7/98 8:10:05 PM

But admit it -- you DON'T have a sense of smell.

Response #45
By: sooz
Date: 3/7/98 9:02:23 PM

Ok, let's here y'all's .02 on those lovely Taiwanese people who have moved into the DFW area, and have stated that God will show up on channel 18 (that's channel 18's everywhere) on March 25, I think it is, and then the second coming will be March 31, I think. They wear all white, because they say God does too, and they wear white cowboy hats, to "fit in" in Texas.

They mighta fit in w/Koresh's people, but, uh...

Response #46
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 3/8/98 6:51:35 AM

Wow.. I want to hang out with them.

And no, I can't smell. Just like you can't fuck.

Response #47
By: Tess Trueheart
Date: 3/8/98 7:37:37 AM

Homer..is this first hand knowledge?

Response #48
By: Da Sissop
Date: 3/8/98 10:28:18 AM

Curses! He's deployed countermeasures.

Them aliens is wiley.

Response #49
By: rorschach
Date: 3/11/98 8:53:35 PM

first HAND knowledge? ROTFL! (mental image don't ya know....)

Response #50
By: sooz
Date: 3/11/98 9:12:22 PM

Homer, you made me spew my Diet Coke on the screen again. Shame, shame.

I like you too, Tess! (Yeah, I'm slow. I'm replying to that message back there)

Response #51
By: Cleotis
Date: 3/11/98 9:49:50 PM

I don;t know where all of this is going, but just to be safe, I'm not going to smell OR f*ck while watching Channel 18 for the rest of the month!

...Which kinda sucks, because Channel 18 is where I get my Springer every night at 10:30. *sigh*

Response #52
By: Mycroft
Date: 3/12/98 4:49:36 PM

[insert standard skeptical/atheistic commentary here] You damn believers aren't even worth the effort of arguing with anymore. *grin*

Response #53
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 3/12/98 5:00:42 PM

Its true. I am the luck recipient of a condition known as 'anosmia.' Look it up. It is related to a birth defect called Kallman's Syndrome. Look it up.

And, I can fuck *really well.*

:-)

Response #54
By: Zane T. Dark
Date: 3/13/98 8:39:31 AM

Ok..I admit it. I'm *afraid* to look it up. I was afraid the first time you typed it, and I still am. Does that make me a Dictophobe?

Response #55
By: Gowan McGland
Date: 3/13/98 12:04:33 PM

As long as we're airing our genetic mutations, I'm colorblind.

Yes, I know grass is green. Apples are red. The sky is blue.

Don't ask.

Response #56
By: Ralf
Date: 3/14/98 8:36:18 PM

I don't fuck, I Fuck, with a capital F.

If somebody'd invent a fuckomoter, I'd be off the scale.

When I Fuck, the earth doesn't move, it LEAVES TOWN without a forwarding address.

Remember the movie VOLCANO? Like that, but with more screaming.

I could impregnate every man, woman, and child on earth with a single Fuck (but I use protection).

So yeah, I'm pretty good too.

Response #57
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 3/15/98 2:51:20 AM

So Ralf...

...wanna fuck?

Response #58
By: Ralf
Date: 3/15/98 9:40:49 AM

Er... I've got a headache.

Response #59
By: Zane T. Dark
Date: 3/15/98 9:58:01 AM

Ah..there's the rub.

Response #60
By: rorschach
Date: 3/15/98 7:51:12 PM

someone is just a TAD full of himself....

rather reminds me of a short story by Larry Niven called "Man of STEEL, Woman of KLEENEX(TM)" where he discusses the reproductive problems of Kal El aka Clark Kent aka Superman.... (I swear, this guy sounds like some kinda criminal with all these aliases.....) my favorite line concerns how superman would loose it at the big moment and gut lois lane like a trout.....

Response #61
By: Jay
Date: 3/16/98 10:14:19 AM

This can tie this whole thread together.....just think a 9 foot tall luminous 3D Sherilyn Fenn....

Today's Nikkei Weekly reports that Tokyo-based multimedia production company Synergy Inc, Kokusai Denshin Denwa and another Japanese company are producing a three-dimensional movie sequel to Twin Peaks, to be 'made with' David Lynch. The movie, described as 'a science-fiction horror movie', is slated for completion in summer 1999, at a cost of $1.9M. Synergy also plans a video-game version on digital videodisc and music CDs.

Response #62
By: Da Sissop
Date: 3/16/98 6:38:53 PM

1.9 million? What, are they using a couple of camcorders? :)