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By: Da Sissop
Date: 4/20/98 10:23:54 AM
# Replies: 28
Does anyone else find it the least bit odd that we have astronauts in space right now beheading rodents with a miniature guillotine, purportedly so that scientists on board the shuttle can study the effects weightlessness has had on their brains?
Now, seriously. They've been in space, like, a day or two. Do they really think there's even the slightest possibility they might see any changes at all? I find this so hard to believe, in fact, that I think the real objective of this mission is to study the effects of weightlessness on sadistic killers. There are no "scientists" on this mission. Just a buncha guys with a bloodlust for beheading rats. Will zero-G make them more docile?
When the mission is done, NASA is going to drop them all off in Australia.
Response #1
By: Mycroft
Date: 4/21/98 1:00:52 PM
I kinda like the idea. It is something worth studying if we're going to have people living up there...
Response #2
By: Loki
Date: 4/22/98 12:45:38 AM
Somehow this ties in to the power-armor thing and Mickey, doesn't it?
Response #3
By: rorschach
Date: 4/22/98 12:20:31 PM
actually, it is MY understanding that these are mouse embryos that they are beheading because like humans, the neural tube/brain develops very early in the gestation period. It is hoped that studying any differences that arise due to microgravity may help get a grip on what sorts of changes that might be expected to occur to adults with fully formed neural tubes/brains. besides, if we WERE to mount a manned mars mission, we are talking abut possibly up to 2+ years duration, do you think seriously that a non-mixed crew could stay sane that long? and if the crew WERE mixed, that a pregnancy might not result? for that matter, we are talking about long term orbital stays on the ISS. astronauts on the ISS will not have every second of thier time aloft taken up by duties, they will have SOME free time. some of those female astronauts are pretty damned HOT....surely SOMEBODY is going to try some unauthorized microgravity experiments....
Response #4
By: Ralf
Date: 4/22/98 5:53:18 PM
(Six months into the mission...)
"Deke, come here ya big galoot! I wanna IMPREGNATE ya!"
"Stan! Stay away! Aieee! Houston, we have a prob--AACK!!"
"Commencin' microgravity experiments... NOW! BLAHAHAHA..!"
Response #5
By: Mycroft
Date: 5/4/98 1:41:57 PM
What they should be checking is the effectiveness of norplant-type thingies in orbit, then.
It would suck if the last barrier to a woman becoming an astronaut would be catholicism.
Response #6
By: Da Sissop
Date: 5/4/98 10:31:44 PM
In other rodent news, it seems some other scientists have discovered that rats are ticklish, and have recorded their laughter using sensitive equipment much like that which records the sounds of bats.
Back to the original topic, I think perhaps the constant squeaky laughter drove the shuttle astronauts past the brink of madness, and they just snapped, and there was nothing NASA could do about it.
Response #7
By: The Sorcerer
Date: 5/5/98 1:40:54 AM
Doesn't this sound just like some sort of twisted Frat party? (The mouse beheadings that is.) After a couple of beers they're doing finger-puppet shows with the decapitated heads....
Sorc'(Rev)
Response #8
By: Jay
Date: 5/5/98 10:21:24 AM
ok Pinky first we get on the shuttle. Then....hey let me go....aaaagggghhhhh
Response #9
By: Crush the State
Date: 5/28/98 6:47:35 AM
What do you think our last few wars were? More projected masochism, e.g. sadism, in response to a world we perceive as sadistic.
T'ain't complicated math... but I sense far too many of you in the grip of denial (said to a group of people beyond this BBS also).
laughter and gaiety, SENSE OF EVIL
Response #10
By: XeonoeX
Date: 7/6/98 2:57:54 AM
NARF.... So Brain, what od you want to do tonight?? The same thing we do every night Pinky.. TRY TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!
It's XeonoeX, XeonoeX and the Brain Brain Brain Brain Brain.......
Response #11
By: yodare
Date: 7/16/98 12:11:45 AM
Bill's losing it...err...wait...he never really had it...nevermind.
Response #12
By: XeonoeX
Date: 7/16/98 2:54:59 AM
No Alex, that's not true, I had it once, but I had to pawn it in order to support my drug habit. You name it, caffine, nicotine, shlitz, I'm hooked on em all!
-Bill
Response #13
By: sooz
Date: 7/16/98 11:54:02 AM
"Hi, I'm Bill and I'm addicted to everything."
"HI, BILL!"
Response #14
By: Da Sissop
Date: 7/16/98 6:31:24 PM
Basically, you just need to give up everything cold turkey.
You might consider trying the Everything patch.
Response #15
By: Ralf
Date: 7/16/98 6:32:29 PM
It's effective, but a little unwieldly. Odd side effects.
Response #16
By: yodare
Date: 7/16/98 7:58:36 PM
What would a Beer patch look like?
What would a sex patch look like?
Response #17
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 7/17/98 2:26:55 AM
I'd show you my sex patch, but this is a family BBS.
My beer patch hangs over and around my belt loops.
Response #18
By: Gowan McGland
Date: 7/17/98 9:13:58 AM
What would they say in Dogpatch?
Response #19
By: sooz
Date: 7/17/98 1:13:35 PM
I heard CLinton has a Panty Patch (tm).
Response #20
By: Capt. Spastic
Date: 7/18/98 5:42:48 AM
Ok, you knew it was coming...
Patches? We don't need no steekin' patches!
Response #21
By: Ralf
Date: 7/18/98 10:14:55 AM
Why don't they fill automotive airbags with nitrous oxide? Then, accidents would be giggly affairs with people falling all over themselves laughing as they exchange insurance info.
Nitrous also deadens pain, so you'd be good to go until help arrives. No discomfort AND big laffs!
And with its explosive properties, if it's a REALLY BAD accident, you're put out of your misery.
Response #22
By: Da Sissop
Date: 7/18/98 11:17:14 AM
Oh there's *lotsa* good uses for laughing gas. Crowd control, for example. Picture a riot squad dressed up in clown suits, advancing in a line, lobbing canisters of nitrous oxide into the mob.
"Lookit! Rubber bullets! Hahahaha!"
Response #23
By: Capt. Spastic
Date: 7/19/98 12:35:16 AM
Now that's a winning idea!
Response #24
By: Ralf
Date: 7/19/98 6:47:40 AM
I remember reading about one British crowd control device that uses ultra-low frequencies, broadcast from massively amped PA systems in vehicles. We're talking 3 or 4 hertz here...
Apparently there's a frequency in that range that induces humans to void their bowels uncontrollably. Nothing takes the wind out of a protest march like suddenly having to find a toilet NOW.
Sounds great, right? The problem was they had no way of isolating the driver of the vehicle from the effects. Lo-freq passes thru EVERYTHING.
*I'M* thinking they could probably search long enough and find a fetishist who would LOVE to drive a vehicle like that...
Response #25
By: Cleotis
Date: 7/19/98 11:49:53 AM
Or, just replace the Captain's chairs in the van with a nice padded toilet seat!
Response #26
By: rorschach
Date: 7/19/98 1:57:57 PM
or maybe make it drivable by remote control...... hey ralf remember the old plymouth van that NASA had running arount out at JSC for a while while they were researching driverless vehicles......
Response #27
By: Ralf
Date: 7/20/98 12:24:22 PM
Yeah, it escaped and is now ramming vehicles for fuel on I45. :-)
Response #28
By: rorschach
Date: 7/21/98 12:53:06 PM
and here i just thought we had a real problem with insurance fraud.....