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By: sooz
Date: 4/21/98 11:21:08 PM
# Replies: 25
Linda McCartney passed away from breast cancer that had run amok, infiltrating her liver and whatnot. It was very sad. She was relatively young.
The announcer said "Linda was criticized for her lack of music ability, both vocally and on keyboards, but she was there all the same, because that's where Paul wanted her."
Then I rememberd the old joke: "What do you call a cow with wings? Linda McCartney." Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Then I started thinking, oh, crap. I'm married to a really talented, gifted songwriter/musician/singer. I have very marginal keyboard and vocal skills, but I play keyboards for him on stage, and I sing backup occasionally, because he wants me to.
Yikes.
Response #1
By: rorschach
Date: 4/22/98 12:51:12 PM
what, are you afraid it might cause breast cancer?
Response #2
By: sooz
Date: 4/23/98 12:36:39 PM
That was too tasteless to reply to, Ror.
In other Linda M. news, though, her death certificate hasn't been issued yet. Could she have done the assisted suicide thing? She's done been cremated and scattered over England, but the death cert. is still pending... hmm.
Response #3
By: Ralf
Date: 4/23/98 6:08:57 PM
Hay! I just realized this thread's title is a Paul McCartney song. Cool.
Response #4
By: rorschach
Date: 4/23/98 6:52:16 PM
sorry sooz... but I thought it might be a bit too insulting to pose the OTHER reply I had in mind.... after all, I really never HAVE heard you play....
Response #5
By: Jay
Date: 4/27/98 9:24:29 AM
I think Linda McCartney was murdered by a UN/FEMA hitsquad to keep her from exposing how her family (Eastman) developed ultra sensitive remoting sensing devices that can locate and identify people from miles above the earth. These devices are used to track everyone's movements and recorded both the REAL Paul McCartneys death in the late 60s and John Lennons in the 80s. The CIA used the FEMA "weather satellites" to position and coordinate their Bealtes hit teams. Linda was given "custody" of the faux-Paul to train and monitor his behavior. Unfortunately they both came under the sway of South American drug barons and while in "jail" in Japan programmed by Asian vegitarian thugs. As the two traveled the world advocating dope and grain for the masses the Rotchilds got very nervous. After a secret meeting between the Queen of England and the faux-Paul it was agreed that Linda who could not be brought back into the fold had to be eliminated. Paul was knighted to keep quiet under the condition he keep his mouth shut, never publically advocate drug legalization, and never make another Wings album.
Response #6
By: sooz
Date: 4/27/98 3:11:02 PM
Jay, I can't decide who roolz more, you or SysDude.
Response #7
By: Shadow Sprite
Date: 5/3/98 4:31:14 PM
Let it be. Let it be.
Response #8
By: Loki
Date: 5/3/98 9:31:47 PM
I am the egg-man. They are the egg-men. I am the walrus.
Coo-Coo Katchoo.
Response #9
By: Da Sissop
Date: 5/3/98 11:29:09 PM
Mmmmm... walrus eggs...
Response #10
By: sooz
Date: 5/6/98 12:49:29 PM
Paul is dead.
Homer's name is Paul.
Where's Homer been, anyway?
Response #11
By: sooz
Date: 5/7/98 4:38:30 PM
Damn, I did that wrong.
It's five seven five and not
Five five seven. Oof.
Response #12
By: Da Sissop
Date: 5/8/98 10:52:18 AM
Act-u-ally, Sooz,
This is not the haiku thread.
So feel free to type any damn thing ya wanna type any way you wanna type it, okay?
Response #13
By: sooz
Date: 5/9/98 12:28:29 AM
I, I, I.... got confused again. Imagine that.
Response #14
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 6/2/98 3:19:40 AM
I've been off not being dead.
In the past two months, I've learned what it means to be homeless. Of course, I had friends' couches to sleep on, and the bux to be able to stay in hotels from time to time, so it isn't like I was on the street or anything. Nevertheless, the last few weeks of it were pretty unbearable, having no psychic anchor to give my daily activities a context.
You know those homeless folks you see wandering around, muttering insanities? I was like a low-grade version of that.
Response #15
By: Loki
Date: 6/4/98 1:16:21 AM
I kinda thought you were always a version of that. Come to think of it, Jaka and I, after our third cup of coffee each, are rather like that. At least we have Jaka's imaginary friend, Stohira, Biker Bitch of the Midevieal Desert to protect us when we're in such fragile states of mind.
Response #16
By: Capt. Spastic
Date: 6/4/98 9:21:31 PM
What happened to your place Homer?
Response #17
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 6/5/98 2:16:29 AM
We had to leave, cuz the house was getting sold by the landlords. Or did I mention this in another, later thread?
Hmm.
Response #18
By: Ralf
Date: 6/5/98 7:27:42 PM
Time means nothing...
Response #19
By: Da Sissop
Date: 6/5/98 8:37:11 PM
Time heals all wounds.
Of course, so does death, in a way, I guess.
Response #20
By: Loki
Date: 6/6/98 3:30:25 AM
I forsee another "Behold the power of Cheese" commercial, on that theme, where we ressurect the head of Frank Sinatra stitched onto Phil Hartman's body.
Is it me, or am I making as little sense as I think I am?
Response #21
By: Capt. Spastic
Date: 6/6/98 12:35:27 PM
Phil! We miss you man!
Gawd! I'm depressed now.
Response #22
By: Gowan McGland
Date: 6/7/98 12:39:21 AM
Actually, there is no body.
Phil and Brynne were cremated earlier this week.
Response #23
By: Capt. Spastic
Date: 6/8/98 10:20:20 PM
Ya think that was whip cream or that heavy cream?
Response #24
By: Jay
Date: 6/9/98 9:21:13 PM
thigh cream
Response #25
By: Loki
Date: 6/11/98 4:02:08 AM
Of course we know why Phil died:
"Hi! I'm Troy McClure, and you may remember me from such films as, "I married a homicidal bitch" and, "Honey, think of the kids!"
"You may remember me from such frustrating evenings as, "Honey, I shrunk my penis!"