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By: Capt. Spastic
Date: 5/4/98 10:25:03 PM
# Replies: 35
Ok, is it just me, but I just don't get this new Dockers/kaki commercial. I mean this chicks in the kitchen, in a shirt and boxers, she screams for the guy, (I guess to come rescue from this new breed of dragon mouse we been hearing so much about from the genetic research pool). Now here's the part(s) I don't get. These people are in THEIR house, he jumps up out of the bed, puts on his pants and goes tunning into the kitchen. Now let's dismiss that he get this rodent in a record time that would make Jerry the cat go after Tom with an all new vengence, he grabs the mouse and in true Hollywood Machisbo, he brings his captured prey to his lady love. And in the true tradtion of a female, she then wants to make a pet out of it. So then you see these 2 in bed, while they are making this poor little mouse run in the treadmill to power the light so she can read. Why does this guy put his pants on in his own house, when there are no other people there? Why is ok for her to be in the kitchen in a shirt and boxers, and he has to have pants on when he's in there? And what the hell does it mean at the end when it says one leg at a time? Are they talking about the mouse? The yuppie that jumped into his pants to capture the rabid mouse? The chick in the boxers? What? I just don't get it!!! Could someone explain to me please?
Response #1
By: The Sorcerer
Date: 5/5/98 1:23:03 AM
Maybe it operates on the same principle as closing the bathroom door when you go to take a shit, even though you're home alone.
Sorc'(Rev)
Response #2
By: Jay
Date: 5/5/98 10:27:23 AM
Rule to live by #3578
Always retain pants incase of UFO abduction or suprise visit by your grandmother - even if alone in the house.
Response #3
By: Capt. Spastic
Date: 5/5/98 8:31:13 PM
You're supposed to close the door when you take a shit?
And jay, once again, why is it ok for the girl to be in her kitchen in boxers and a shirt, but he can't be in the kitchen in his underwear. he ahs to have on Dockers Kaki's?
I just don't get it!
Response #4
By: Jay
Date: 5/6/98 11:38:25 AM
Use the Schwartz - tap into the greatest power in the universe - merchandizing - then all will become clear
Response #5
By: Da Sissop
Date: 5/6/98 12:15:58 PM
Scene: a terrified man on some sort of examination table in an eerily-lighted room. He's trembling and glancing around nervously, as a group of short gray aliens with oversized heads begin to close in on him. One of them looks a bit like Councliman Joe Roach, but that's probably just a coincidence. He holds a long steel probe with a tiny blue light at the end.
The others grasp ahold of the man, who is now screaming and trying, with no success, to resist. They flip him over on the table and raise his butt into the air.
The alien with the probe has been slowly inching toward the upraised butt, and the others now begin to clumsily undo the man's pants. Suddenly Councilman Roach stops, raises a hand, and barks out an alien command for the others to stop. He then mutters a couple more alien words.
"What did he say? What did he say?" the human asks.
One of the little gray helpers slaps him in the back of the head, and in an Italian accent says, "He said, 'nice pants.'"
(Cue synthesizer and theremin music, show Dockers logo pressed into a field of wheat, with the man lying motionless, nude, face down, covered in mud and blood)
Response #6
By: rorschach
Date: 5/6/98 12:45:54 PM
fang, you missed your calling..... i laughed, i cried.... two thumbs WAAAAYYYYY up... (I won't say up WHERE.....)
Response #7
By: Crush the State
Date: 5/14/98 11:56:14 AM
Hey, how come we can't use the BLINK tag? Jeez...
Commercial culture is the anathema of the thinking primate. The images must flash faster than the hand to the wallet, and the credit card must LET.US.KNOW.WHERE.YOU.ARE. Those who resist are obviously of the demonized and must be relegated to the race war tank, and those who assist are clearly spiritless enough to be of the new world order, the Bonobos of intellectual compromise and a reflexive spirit which enjoys being told what to do.
Me, I'd rather Kill for a Living.
Response #8
By: Capt. Spastic
Date: 5/14/98 9:56:59 PM
Kill for the Living?
Is that anything hardly soft?
Response #9
By: sooz
Date: 5/14/98 11:42:20 PM
"Fighting for peace is kind of like fucking for celibacy."
Response #10
By: Jay
Date: 5/16/98 6:48:20 PM
OK who turned the UNIBOMBER filter on?
Response #11
By: Mycroft
Date: 5/19/98 2:50:39 PM
Remember, opposable thumbs were meant for ONE tool, not all tools.
Response #12
By: Capt. Spastic
Date: 5/23/98 1:14:51 AM
I'm busy fucking my way to a new virginity.
And just for the record, my thumbs don't oppose many things. There pretty agreeable.
Response #13
By: Shadow Sprite
Date: 5/23/98 9:38:05 AM
Great... Now I'm really waiting for this invisioned "NetNun"! You might have just said, "I'm frigging my way to a new virginity."
Response #14
By: Capt. Spastic
Date: 5/25/98 10:34:06 AM
Ah, but I didn't.
Your point?
I could said:
texidermying my way to a new virginity
reading my way to a new virginity
praying my way to a new virgnity
or
Jell-Oing my way to a new virginity.
But I didn't, and unless things have changed around here, one of the founding principles of our Nunz forefathers a little over 200 years ago, (back when we had to use the wood burning computers) was the freedom to express ourselves `round these parts. And I don't think that expressing MYSELF involves saying something the way someone would, or wants me to. Capice?
Response #15
By: Ralf
Date: 5/28/98 7:54:26 PM
Personally, I like profanity. A lot. I like it so much, in fact, that I use it judiciously, like an expensive spice.
I fucking savor it.
Response #16
By: Jay
Date: 5/29/98 9:03:15 AM
I have been enjoying the Samuel L Jackson commercial for the MTV movie awards where he drives up to the kids in the sand box and asks them "how the fucks it goin kids"....sheer artestry
Response #17
By: Capt. Spastic
Date: 5/30/98 1:20:39 AM
Ooo, I've seen that one! He was wearing Kaki's in that one right?
Response #18
By: Ralf
Date: 5/31/98 10:49:42 AM
"Nice fuckin pants."
Response #19
By: Shadow Sprite
Date: 5/31/98 11:21:26 AM
Personally, that's the day I'm waiting for. When comercials actually take speech patterns from real life.
"Do you know you'd have to eat four bowls of your cereal to equal the nutritional value of Total?"
"Do you know you're in my fucking house and I don't even know who the fuck you are? Get the fuck outta here!"
...Ah, fun.
Response #20
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 6/2/98 3:40:40 AM
Bonobos are kewl. They fuck their way out of conflict. If there's a problem, they just screw until no one can remember what the problem was.
I think we can learn a lot from the bonobos.
Response #21
By: sooz
Date: 6/4/98 11:00:45 AM
It seems that that would make either A) a large quanity of bonobo offspring (providing this is their technique for reproduction) and/or B) a large quantity of bonobo STDs.
Response #22
By: Ralf
Date: 6/4/98 6:01:02 PM
The televised images from the Gulf War sure would have turned out differently.
Response #23
By: Capt. Spastic
Date: 6/4/98 9:24:47 PM
Now THAT'S Culture!!!!!
Quite a fucking culture if I might say so!
Response #24
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 6/5/98 2:19:04 AM
Bonobos have sex for pleasure, and as we humans know, fucking does not equal offspring *necessarily*.
And, as we humans know, 'having sex' does not always equal 'fucking,' either. Bonobos snuggle, too.
Response #25
By: sooz
Date: 6/5/98 10:21:47 AM
However, more than 99% of our offspring are, indeede, a result of sex, which in some cases, can be fucking.
On the other hand, I've had a lot more sex than I've had children. My son's an only child, see.
Response #26
By: Da Sissop
Date: 6/5/98 8:52:11 PM
If you'd like to learn more about our Bonobo cousins, why not visit your local library, or check out this Bonobo links page. (Thanks to Gowan for adding the bonobo link to the Links! Links! Links! section... )
Response #27
By: Capt. Spastic
Date: 6/6/98 12:40:38 PM
Homer, and you are under oath here, come clean. When was the last time you snuggled with a bonobo? Come on, you can admit it to me. I won't tell anyone. Your secerts safe with me.
(With loud obnoxious disco music playing in the background. Capt. Spastic dons his gold chains, tight pants, and mandatory chest toupee)
So Sooz, could I buy you 6 drinks?
Response #28
By: Gowan McGland
Date: 6/6/98 1:54:26 PM
Well, you know, with all this Bonobo talk I figured we needed a link that had THE FACTS.
Okay, okay, I didn't even know what the hell a Bonobo was, so I looked it up in my search engine. Happy?
Response #29
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 6/6/98 6:41:06 PM
Senator, I have never snuggled with a bonobo.
I played one on FurryMUCK, though... Bob The Bonobo.
Response #30
By: Ralf
Date: 6/7/98 9:49:47 AM
Suddenly I want to login as Sonny Bonobo.
Response #31
By: Jay
Date: 6/7/98 8:32:39 PM
Didn't his wife get shot by the Long Island Lolita?
Response #32
By: Sonny Bonobo
Date: 6/7/98 8:35:05 PM
HA! you're too LATE!
Response #33
By: Capt. Spastic
Date: 6/7/98 9:12:16 PM
Damn it! I wished we all could post under any name, like on the old Nunz! (pout)!
Response #34
By: rorschach
Date: 6/11/98 8:37:19 PM
it IS possible, but it is a pain in the butt for everyone involved....
Response #35
By: Ralf
Date: 6/14/98 4:41:23 PM
I think the risk is well worth the comedic pay-off.
I second Spastic's request. That would be kewl.