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By: Da Sissop
Date: 12/7/97 5:27:57 PM
# Replies: 128
It's getting worse... unsolicited commercial email authors trying to get your attention by *pretending* they know you.
I got this one a little while ago:
Response #1
By: Da Sissop
Date: 12/7/97 5:40:20 PM
Hello there,
I'm sorry to disturb you with my email. My name is Lisa Bryson. I got your name from a friend of mine, whom you had exchanged e-mail with. [No you didn't, you lyin' spammin' ho, you got my name from a list of email addresses skimmed from the houston.general Usenet newsgroup.]
I don't want to bore you with my story, [Thank you, I'd appreciate if you didn't....] how my husband left me a few months ago, [...but you're going to anyway, aren't you?] how he ripped me off and how lonely I am these days. I'm an attractive, young woman (5'6, 36D, black hair, nice body) who is looking for fun, adventure and wants to take revenge on her ex. [Gulp... and you want me to KILL him, right?] I want to start a new promiscuous lifestyle to live out my fantasies. If you're interested in meeting me, maybe you should visit my small website and drop me a note there.
[Address deleted...]
Response #2
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 12/8/97 8:25:01 AM
Hey, I got that one, too. I thought it was just for me...
Response #3
By: Gowan McGland
Date: 12/8/97 9:40:27 AM
Hey! I didn't get that one!
She doesn't love ME!
Response #4
By: Ralf
Date: 12/8/97 1:17:31 PM
I admit it. My real name is Lisa. I sent the spam.
It was a cry for help.
I'm very very sorry.
Response #5
By: rorschach
Date: 12/12/97 4:28:04 PM
I got a weird one today the text is as follows: To: stan.burton@att.net, 971212173052.19578@MTIGWC05 From: sorry@email.com Received: from pro4.cys.hinet.net ([203.66.241.7]) by mtigwc05.worldnet.att.net (post.office MTA v2.0 0613 ) with ESMTP id AAA11308 for ; Fri, 12 Dec 1997 02:29:49 +0000 Received: from p90 ([203.66.241.3]) by pro4.cys.hinet.net (post.office MTA v2.0 0813 ID# 194-13413) with SMTP id AAA136; Thu, 11 Dec 1997 19:43:20 +0800 Subject: 我們週年囉！ Message-ID: Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: Text/Plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8Bit X-Mozilla-Status: 0001 Content-Length: 536
這是一封透過朋友，轉發給您的問候信，如果打擾到，請見諒。 今年，大約有六十萬600,000的朋友以上，來到這裡： Blackfox Network http://www.fox.hinet.net
其中，有和我們很熟，也有很多陌生的。但不論怎樣，我們一週年了， 感謝朋友到臨，再也沒有比冬天更「溫暖」的季節了....
如果您未曾來過，天很冷，記得要自己多穿件衣服。
--婕兒 留字 =========================================================== 不是真情懶放懷，Blackfox Network Check it out at http://www.fox.hinet.net ===========================================================
just for grins, i followed the link to try and figure out what the hell this garbage WAS, never did figure it out tho cuz the site was in CHINESE! (at least I THINK it is chinese...) like theres just oodles of chinese on the net.... hell, they won't even let them have PHONES! much less computers with net access! they are afraid that they might learn to think for themselves.... (please excuse the header, I've been trying (in vain unfortunately) to figure out who's been sending me so much junk mail. anybody here know how to decode the trail?)
Response #6
By: Da Sissop
Date: 12/13/97 9:14:43 AM
Well I did a "Whois" lookup on "hinet.net" and got this:
[No name] (HINET-DOM) 21, Section 1, Hsin-Yi Road Taipei, Taiwan 100 tw
Domain Name: HINET.NET
Administrative Contact: Fu-Kuei Chung (FC57-ORG) sysadm@MS1.HINET.NET +886 2 3445858 ext. 3120 Fax- +886 2 3442513 Technical Contact, Zone Contact: Wang, Nien-Tsu (NW17) ntwang@MS1.HINET.NET +886 2 3445858 ext 3150 (FAX) 886-2-3955671 Billing Contact: Hsing-Ming Chung (HC91-ORG) billing@MS1.HINET.NET +886 2 3445858 ext. 3151 Fax- +886 2 3955671
Record last updated on 09-Apr-97. Record created on 19-Mar-94.
I'd suggest you send the sysadmin a polite note, in Chinese, asking him to stop sending you spam.
Response #7
By: rorschach
Date: 12/14/97 6:58:55 PM
kool, thanks. but i have found that often, the trail can lead through either unsuspecting domains being "muled" or are totally ficticious and never passed though the domain in the first place. all this to insulate the respondents... besides... i don't know the madarin dialect....
Response #8
By: rorschach
Date: 12/14/97 7:28:01 PM
well, I sent a message to the sysadm guy in english, i hope he understands english.. cuz i got another chinese email from sombody ELSE at that domain! these people should be SHOT!
Response #9
By: rxeno
Date: 12/15/97 2:20:41 PM
I would imagine that anyone you would communicate with via the internet in Taiwan would understand English, as it is required third grade up study. Hinet.Net is a very naughty site,,, however, the web-rings created by porno-profiteers can be quite distracting and a bit overbearing. Unfortunately, I have found that ANY response merely generates even more spam! As far as the "ought to be shot" ,,, hmmm,, well, er,, That will probably be taken care of by mainland China any day now......
Response #10
By: Da Sissop
Date: 12/16/97 8:38:49 AM
Yeah, you can say what you want about Communism, but at least they know how to handle spammers.
Response #11
By: sooz
Date: 12/17/97 12:53:36 PM
I got some new obnoxious Web magazine in the mail, and it lists the awards given to the world's greatest spammers.
The things to which some people aspire. Sheesh.
Response #12
By: Cleotis
Date: 12/17/97 4:01:39 PM
Today at lunchtime, I called that technical contact dude on your behalf, Ror.
It felt pretty good giving him a piece of my mind. I think I woke the bastard up, plus I learned how they say f*ck you in Chinese.
Then, he muttered something about "stupid Amellican".
Hope that makes ya feel better!
Response #13
By: rorschach
Date: 12/18/97 9:18:15 PM
jeez cleo! thanks! but taiwan is a bit of a long distance call... i hope you didn't spend too much money! (lord knows how much the sur(or should that be SIR?)charge was that they tacked onto the long distance bill)
Response #14
By: Ralf
Date: 12/20/97 10:54:48 AM
He probably used some K0dEz!!1!!! to make the call, you know {wink} on the cheap.
Response #15
By: Da Sissop
Date: 12/28/97 12:15:45 PM
'Nuther interesting new spam today, and lemme tell ya, THIS guy has really got some balls:
------[Begin Spam]---------
From: GOD@aol.com
Date: Sun, 28 Dec 97 11:55:04 EST
To: user@aol.com
Subject: My Children In West Virginia.
Reply-To: xena5578@aol.com
My Children, Your Brothers and Sisters Need You.
There are Many In This Small Town In West Virginia That Require Your Help.
Many That Are Hungry, In Need of Shelter, Clothing, Some that Need Help Finding Work. Therefore I Your GOD Command You To Help My Children In This Town By Doing The Following:
Take a One Dollar Bill Wrap it In a Piece of Paper and Send It To: Huntington City Mission 1030 7th Ave. Huntington, W.Va. 25701 Attn: For Gods Children.
Address The envelope From Gods Children.
My Children Running This Fine Shelter Have No Idea Of My Command To You. So Make Sure You Put The Attn: For Gods Children.
By reading this message I know you can afford this, and this is not alot to ask of my creation. If You So Choose To Give More, You May Make out a Check To The Huntington City Mission. However, You Must At Least Send One Dollar RIGHT NOW!
By Following My Command, I Will Bless You 1000 Fold.
As In My Word, On Your Judgement Day, I Will Ask You Why You Did Not Follow My Commandments. This Command That I Now Set Before You, Is Such A Little Thing For You To Do. If You Turn Your Back On Your Brothers and Sisters Here, Surely I Will Do The Same To You.
Thank You For Keeping My Sons Birthday A Holy Event. GOD
-------[End Spam]----------
I suspect this may be a fraud, as God wouldn't be associated with AOL.
Response #16
By: Ralf
Date: 12/28/97 4:34:11 PM
Holy Spam!
Think we could get God's account disabled?
Come to think of it, who *IS* God's sysadmin?
Response #17
By: Cleotis
Date: 12/28/97 6:55:26 PM
Uhm...
Bill Gates?
Response #18
By: Da Sissop
Date: 12/28/97 7:01:22 PM
Heh, it's that age-old pseudo-philosophical dilemma.... is God so powerful that He could disable His own email account?
This has been a great day for spam. I had the one from God earlier, and just now I got the following:
------[Begin Spam]-------
Date: Sun, 28 Dec 1997 22:06:53 +0100 (MET)
To: 07071n1@mbox.kyoto-inet.or.jp
From: 07071n1@mbox.kyoto-inet.or.jp (SC)
Reply-to: 1407aa2@iiut21.net
Subject: Subliminally Seduce Women Instantly !
Testing
-------[End Spam]--------
... gad, how I *wish* they had used a legitimate email address for that, as I would *love* to reply, "Eye am not a wooman, but EYE AM IN YOR POWUR!!1!!1"
Response #19
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 12/29/97 6:21:08 PM
People Who Make Mass-Emailing Software Must Die.
(except, of course, the guy who wrote sendmail.)
Response #20
By: Ralf
Date: 12/29/97 6:57:28 PM
How do you know if you've been subliminally seduced?
Response #21
By: Da Sissop
Date: 12/29/97 7:52:00 PM
On Win95 systems, there will be a hidden file on your hard drive called Win386.swp, which is the "subliminal whammy package" file that contains the seduction payload.
Response #22
By: Ralf
Date: 12/30/97 7:04:59 PM
So I should delete it?
Response #23
By: rorschach
Date: 1/1/98 11:09:19 AM
yes but be warned! it has placed hooks into your OS and will trash your machine when you do! your only chance is to send your machine to me for destruction and buy yourself a new one!
Response #24
By: Tess Trueheart
Date: 1/2/98 11:06:37 AM
Is that what cookies do? And to think I used to enjoy licking the middle out of the oreo first...Sigh...
Response #25
By: Da Sissop
Date: 1/2/98 11:39:00 AM
You'll be happy to know that the Nunnery doesn't use cookies at all. Just beer.
Response #26
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 1/2/98 10:23:00 PM
cookies leave crumbs. they get in your hard drive. Before you know it, Poppin' Fresh(tm) shows up on your screen and is demanding to clicked in the belly. Its a bad scene.
Response #27
By: Ralf
Date: 1/3/98 5:31:33 PM
Was this before or after Poppin' Fresh left Mrs.Fields' posse?
Response #28
By: Tess Trueheart
Date: 1/4/98 9:41:53 AM
So why do they call them cookies? Does it stand for some secrete disky thingy..or does it mean if I accept one I lose all my cookies?
Have systems advanced so much they too dress in long over coats tempting the unsuspecting with COOKIES??
My mind boggles..
Response #29
By: rorschach
Date: 1/4/98 3:07:27 PM
I'm not 100% certain, but i think the whole cookie thing started out as a prank way back when unix was new. lab assistants (read as older students that worked part time in the computer labs) would write a program that when invoked on the supervisor's machine would cause a prompt appear on a remote terminal that would read "I'm the cookie monster. I want a cookie. Gimme a cookie!" and would not let you do anything else until you typed "cookie". this was a common prank in all the colleges at the time. eventually the term became used for a text variable that was recorded on your machine and could be retreived at will by the server. its used nowadays to keep track of who has looked at a site and how often and what was done while there. in other words a way to gather demographic data on YOU the supposedly anonymous web browser, and make YOU store the data FOR them on Your Harddrive.... marketing people should be shot!
Response #30
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 1/5/98 1:25:47 PM
Note that Navigator 4.04 (for the mac at least) lets you turn off cookies, or will warn you when cookies are being baked in the easy-bake oven of your computer's hard drive...
Also, (SAINTS BE PRAISED!) it lets you turn off java!
Response #31
By: Ralf
Date: 1/5/98 5:29:47 PM
Ditto for Internet Exploder 4.0.
In fact, the default settings are downright paranoid. If you don't fiddle the security, just about every page accessed results in a security warning.
And yes, I meant to spell it that way.
Response #32
By: rorschach
Date: 1/5/98 6:14:31 PM
netscape 3.01 gold will warn you that somebody is setting a cookie but there is not a setting to say "Look, I DON'T WANT YOUR GODDAMED COOKIES!" automatically. you have to kill them all one by friggin one... on a different note, has anyone considered that JAVA may be the next virus development tool? it will after all, run on any machine that has a JAVA interpreter... now we have the ability to write one virus to infect MAC's, PC's, SPARC's, ALPHA's, etc....
Response #33
By: Tess Trueheart
Date: 1/6/98 5:45:03 AM
Oh..the security thingy pops up every time I post a message..
Kev said it's a necessary evil, at least until I learn what not to do.
Response #34
By: Da Sissop
Date: 1/6/98 8:49:44 AM
Yeah, by default, the internet is now the safest place you can be.
If only real life had such pop-ups....
"Warning: You are about to transmit deep emotional feelings over an unsecure connection. Your heart could be exposed to tremendous pain. Continue?"
Response #35
By: Cleotis
Date: 1/6/98 2:10:00 PM
"Click here if you do not wish to receive this warning in the future".
Response #36
By: sooz
Date: 1/6/98 5:30:34 PM
Yep, Ror*, I get to pick whether I want to accept cookies or not. I'm using some kinda Netscape.
Response #37
By: Zane T. Dark
Date: 1/9/98 12:40:18 AM
"Warning, this person goes through your wallet while you are sleeping and replaces your credit cards with packets of 'fancy ketchup'. Continue?"
Response #38
By: Tess Trueheart
Date: 1/11/98 8:52:32 AM
Ah...credit cards. Kev doesn't like it when I play with credit cards..
That's why I use 90 days same as cash...Now people recognize me where ever I go!
90 days same as cash... don't leave home without it!
Response #39
By: Zane T. Dark
Date: 1/11/98 10:56:35 PM
My name is "No intrest or payments until March '99"...gets me every time.
Response #40
By: Tess Trueheart
Date: 1/24/98 9:24:46 AM
I remember you using that line New Year's...
I'm just trying to remember if it worked?
Response #41
By: Zane T. Dark
Date: 1/24/98 2:14:45 PM
Nah...I was just repeating myself for those who weren't there. Hell, if it were senility, I wouldn't be able to think of an excuse this quick, would I?
--Cartoon Network in Background--
Ya know...I have a quick poll...
"Which cartoon character would you most like to bring to life just so you could drop them into a blender feet-first?"
My answer: Scrappy Doo
...hmmm, come to think of it...that sounds kind of like a problem with irregularity...
"Sorry. I have to leave early so I can see the doctor about this 'scrappy doo' problem I'm having...boy it's been a bad year. First that 'simply red' problem..then the 'Husker do'...now this...(sigh)"
Response #42
By: Cleotis
Date: 1/24/98 3:25:26 PM
I know who I'd vote for, assuming someone, somewhere, has actually MADE a Faye Waddleton cartoon!
Response #43
By: Roxanne
Date: 1/26/98 8:23:45 PM
Feet first in a blender?
The entire cast of The Smurfs!
Response #44
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 1/27/98 11:13:25 PM
Blenderize SAILOR MOON.
(Hmm. Is Emil Lang around?)
Response #45
By: Zane T. Dark
Date: 1/28/98 2:16:15 PM
But Homer, she's got such a cute butt...even compared to Laura Croft.
Response #46
By: Ralf
Date: 1/28/98 7:35:05 PM
Laura Croft has collision detection problems.
Think how inconvenient that would be during sex, if your polygons intersected unexpectedly.
Response #47
By: Gowan McGland
Date: 1/28/98 11:32:13 PM
I saw today where there's a woman in France who looks JUST LIKE Lara Croft. She's apparently a model and some French computer magazine found her and took a bunch of pictures for a layout about Tomb Raider II.
This article I read? They even listed the model's measurements against Lara Croft's.
Uhm, do I wanna know how these people know the measurements of a computer simulated Action Hero Woman?
(P.S. I haven't played Tomb Raider I or II. I have a Monster 3D. I must have this game. Anyone have it and wanna trade?)
Response #48
By: Gowan McGland
Date: 1/28/98 11:44:50 PM
Oo. I had to come back. I still had the story open in another browser window.
http://headline.gamespot.com/news/98_01/23_reallara/index.html
Response #49
By: Ralf
Date: 1/30/98 7:16:04 AM
Anyone have naked pictures of Mario?
Response #50
By: rorschach
Date: 1/30/98 8:29:31 AM
andretti? cumo?
Response #51
By: sooz
Date: 1/30/98 11:16:16 PM
Mario and his friend Luigi and the Donkey Kong monkey.
Response #52
By: Zane T. Dark
Date: 1/31/98 10:23:55 PM
Donkey Kong was *not* a monkey! He was a virtual chimp in a gorilla suit...
Response #53
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 2/2/98 12:07:52 AM
One question that haunted my teenage years:
WHERE'S THE GODDAMN DONKEY?
Response #54
By: rorschach
Date: 2/2/98 8:13:05 AM
ah! but you see, it was all a bad translation from japanese! it was supposed to mean "stupid kong" or something in that vein but somehow the translation came out "donkey kong".
Response #55
By: Da Sissop
Date: 2/2/98 10:07:31 AM
"The hottest video game in the Tokyo! All will pleasure yourselves, many times! Laugh loudly in delight as funny small Italians are crushed by giant Ass of Kong! Mario sees barrel! Help Mario avoid turn in barrel! Rescue beautiful woman to experience pleasure again and again with beautiful woman!"
Response #56
By: Shadow Sprite
Date: 2/15/98 12:05:22 PM
"Sorry, Mario! But our princess is in another castle!"
Response #57
By: Shadow Sprite
Date: 2/15/98 12:07:50 PM
By the way... do you think Mario ever ate spam?
Response #58
By: Zane T. Dark
Date: 2/17/98 11:24:17 AM
If spam spelled backward is 'maps'..is tracology the designing of spam?
Response #59
By: Ralf
Date: 2/18/98 6:32:33 PM
My favorite Spam title of the week:
"My 15 year old sister takes it up the pooper for YOU!"
(Of course, when I opened it, it was an ad for herbal remedies...)
Response #60
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 2/19/98 9:05:16 PM
I keep getting ones titled: 'hi there.'
I mean, I kinda *have* to look at it, to see what it is.
Fuckers.
Response #61
By: Shadow Sprite
Date: 2/20/98 8:43:52 AM
That's not as bad as the one I got this morning "I've missed you" of course I had to read it! I mean, it's the first time anyone told me missed me even via e-mail. Granted, when most people fail shooting you they don't write you about it... but it was just spam...
Response #62
By: rorschach
Date: 2/20/98 12:28:59 PM
on a slightly different note... i tried to email a dwg file to a consulting engineer who happens to use AOL as his ISP. well, i got FAT fingers and mistyped it. ok so i fucked up, big whoop right? its gonna bounce back and I'll get an undelivered mail message... but not only did i get THAT message, but i also got a message that AOL's mailserver has thereby locked out any mail coming from my account! i"m about ready to kill a few mail supervisors......
Response #63
By: Da Sissop
Date: 2/20/98 4:11:50 PM
Waitasec... are you still using, what was it, "hotmail" or "juno" or whichever freebie mail account you were using?
Because in defense of AOL, you *may* have gotten that message NOT because you bounced one letter, but rather because your domain name is associated with evil spammers.
AOL has mail control settings which the user can customize. I think, by default, they bounce a lot of the more troublesome domains. Ya might wanna *phone* the engineer and tell him to twiddle his filter so you can send him stuff.
Response #64
By: rorschach
Date: 2/21/98 4:36:14 PM
yea, it was the rocketmail account, and you are probably right...it probably was a spam prevention measure. but the sad part about it was that two other messages went through, and it APPEARS that the re-retry went too, makes me wonder if the message may have been a smoke screen....
Response #65
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 2/22/98 1:14:32 AM
I'm using my 50 free hours that came with OS8 now. Whew. What an astonishing waste of time, even priced at FREE!
Response #66
By: Ralf
Date: 2/22/98 5:49:04 PM
That "free" experience has a hidden cost: your email address is now in the hands of 50,000 rabid spammers. Plus, 50 hours of your life were wasted doing it.
AOL makes a butt-load of money reselling email addresses.
Response #67
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 2/23/98 8:43:02 AM
I hadn't been connected an hour when I started getting junk email. I was on last night, and got 10 (!) porn site ads in an hour. and then there were about 6 or 7 IMs soliciting for porn sites....
Crazy.
Response #68
By: Ralf
Date: 2/23/98 6:35:08 PM
Just wait'll you get some decent bandwidth. In a few years when we're all grousing about how SLOW our gigabit connections are, the PornoSpam will be, like, VIRTUAL.
Instead of just reading an ad describing h0t wet teenz, you'll EXPERIENCE them. Grasping, clawing, moaning, begging for your Visa card number...
Response #69
By: Zipperhead
Date: 2/24/98 12:13:51 PM
I once put Spam on a girls Butt before I spanked her.
Response #70
By: Jay
Date: 2/24/98 1:12:20 PM
Fang, do you have the Swedish Chef filter ready just in case things get out of control?
Response #71
By: Ralf
Date: 2/24/98 5:38:10 PM
Butt-Head: Beavis, the only spanking you'll ever get is me kicking your ass.
Beavis: Noway, butt-munch! Just try it.
Response #72
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 2/24/98 10:43:19 PM
Hey, spanking is part of a healthy, balanced breakfast.
Or something.
Response #73
By: Da Sissop
Date: 2/25/98 7:10:49 AM
(music swells)
"The best part of waking up, is red welts on your butt..."
Response #74
By: Zipperhead
Date: 2/25/98 9:21:18 AM
Bring friends Ralf. Lots of em. HAHAHAHAHA
Response #75
By: Zane T. Dark
Date: 3/1/98 7:44:26 AM
Here's one I got yesterday...
From: harry@penis.com To: zane@hic.net Subject: Check out my new email addres Date: Mon, 9 Feb 1998 19:42:47 -0500 X-Mailer: Mozilla/3.01 (Win95; I)
harry@penis.com -- got it free at http://penis.com
...all I can say is: Yeah, I *hope* it was free.
Response #76
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 3/3/98 5:54:30 AM
I keep getting them with Subject: IMPORTANT INFORMATION FROM YOUR ISP!
Yah. My ISP's admin is sending me email from his aol account. heh.
Response #77
By: Ralf
Date: 3/3/98 8:48:59 PM
Which is the more enticing spam subject line?
A. "Here is the information you requested."
B. "We met last night."
C. "I'm not wearing any pants."
Response #78
By: sooz
Date: 3/3/98 10:12:04 PM
You're making me want to go to my mailbox and check the subject titles currently in there. Let's see... I have:
This is for Jimmy CATCHING HOGS! (For Jimmy) Speaking of Jesus Signed Guestbook March Invoice March Updates Here's the schedule How True Me again!, and my favorite... WOO! (from Homer)
Response #79
By: sooz
Date: 3/3/98 10:13:37 PM
Oops, I left out the last one:
HAY! Know anything about TB?
Response #80
By: Hijinx
Date: 3/4/98 4:46:43 PM
what...Tuberculosis? or Technical Badass. Cause if so, Cleo knows all about havin' bad ass.
Oh, who am I trying to kid...he's my inspiration.
Response #81
By: Ralf
Date: 3/5/98 8:58:28 PM
My prediction for 1999: "TB Chic" will replace "Heroin Chic" as the latest fashion trend.
Response #82
By: Da Sissop
Date: 3/5/98 9:31:42 PM
Talk.bizarre?
Response #83
By: Cleotis
Date: 3/5/98 10:55:10 PM
Roland TB303
Response #84
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 3/6/98 2:17:37 AM
Did someone say TB 303?
Response #85
By: Jay
Date: 3/6/98 10:08:12 AM
Wierdest SPAM I've received in a long time:
From: feniifo86@innoview.fi (Gr8t-Lvrs)
Comments: Authenticated sender is
Dear Friend,
Please do not continue reading this if you do not want to know about
the secrets of the world's greatest lovers. You are not on a mailing
list and will not receive this again.
Many women dream of making love to a man who can last and last and
bring her to intense orgasm. Every man wants to fulfill these
dreams. The multi-orgasmic man has the power and does not need to
hold back. He can train himself to have two, three and even four
non-ejaculatory orgasms. He will learn to maintain his erection in
between these orgasms and keep going for as long as he likes.
Believe it or not you can learn these techniques which are taught in
the top sex clinics in the USA. It is just a matter of conditioning.
This 8000 word manual will explain in detail how to do this.
It will also give you the ideal positiion to achieve this.
Learning just this one position alone can enhance your sex life
beyond your wildest dreams. There is also a short chapter on male
sexual problems outlining the recent advances in treating these
problems with a 90% success rate. If you are interested in
receiving this manual please forward US$40 inclusive of postage to
BDM Enterprises
P O Box 751191
Garden View
Johannesburg
South Africa 2047
Please send the address to which you would like it to be sent.
Payment can be 1. Bank Draft
2. Cash US Dollars
3. Electronic Transfer to
First National Bank Bedford Gardens South Africa
Branch no. 252155
Account no. 4001172980
If you choose the latter route please E-mail or fax the details of
the transfer to us. Fax +27-11-6167780
E-mail bdment@surfne
Response #86 I still have lots of fun with that link to the Juan Ko (or whatever it's called) web site. Dang, I wish I had it here. Fang sent it to me.
Ya think that dude can -really- lift 500 pounds with his member?
Fang, do you still have that URL anywhere? Response #87 Hmm... no, and I found it originally when someone else had posted it to a newsgroup.
I remember that the words "Penis Power" were on the page, so I just now did a Yahoo websearch and found *this*, which is almost as funny.
Response #88 I recently got this one from popdgeneral@mindless.com:
--------
VISIT ME NOW
http://popd.home.ml.org
http://ucc.simplenet.com/popd/
Make my home your home in purchasing Asian made pirated softwares. I have softwares ,Games, VCDs of the latest American films copies in the theater with a Handycam. I even copy these films on VHS for your pleasure.
I am the largest online sellers and the largest offline manufacturer of copy softwares. We have a 10,000 unit a day production
capability. Contact me for details on bulk purchase of any software. I specialise in Microsoft products and can also copy the boxes if necessary.
If you are in Malaysia visit my factory and view my High Tek production plant. You will be surprised that our prices on programs like MS Office 97 is under 2 dollars US in bulk.
Victor 6D Blok A3, Jln Damai 25/60, Tmn Sri Muda,
40400 Shah Alam, Selangor D.E. Malaysia
Email the relevant addresses for info
General Mail : popd_general@mindless.com
Order/Check Stock : popd_order@mindless.com
Join List : popd_list@mindless.com
All major Credit cards accepted as well as bank transfer is welcome
I am looking for distributors as well so if interested you can make a lot of money.
Response #89 Here's one I *had* to 'undelete' just for yos guys...
From: harry@penis.com
To: zane@hic.net
Subject: Check out my new email addres
Date: Mon, 9 Feb 1998 19:42:47 -0500
X-Mailer: Mozilla/3.01 (Win95; I)
harry@penis.com -- got it free at http://penis.com
...hmmm, let's hope so harry.
(yes, this is real...I did *not* forge it.) Response #90
=====> WE WANT YOU TO KNOW MORE ABOUT GOLF BALLS <=======
Lets Take Air For Example....
All of us know how tough it is to hit a good shot in windy conditions.
We assume therefore that air is just another natural element we must
out wit in order to score well. In reality, AIR is what makes it
possible for us the hit the ball as far as we do. The SPIN we impart
on a ball actually gives the ball lift, much like the wing on an
aircraft imparts lift. This lift makes it possible for the ball to
stay airborne longer, enabling it to travel further.
In a vacuum, the average 250 yard drive would only travel about 180
yards. A winged aircraft would not fly.
Air is your Friend....::))
We reclaim and recycle balls from over 130 courses in 13
states. We stock over 50 varieties of balls. If you're an average
player, by the time you have played 3 holes with a new ball, you are
playing with a ball that's in much worse condition than our premium balls.
We offer the highest possible quality recycled balls available...at
direct pricing....HUGE SAVINGS over new balls. Yes we have BALATAS.
Customer Satisfaction Is Absolutely Guaranteed.
If you would like a free catalog sent via email, call 888-507-7566. We
will even pay for the call.
Our Mission: To Be The Best (As Determined By Our Customers)
Suppliers of Quality Recycled Golf Balls
BUY SELL TRADE
Response #91
I'm pro-spam: fewer dead trees. If you don't like the principle of spam, then you agree with me that we need a greater objective than the accumulation of personal capital at all potential costs to the rest of the world (which we might see as an inversion of the extended solipsistic self in the way that a black hole can be seen to "recycle" matter as part of itself, without placing a dominant relevance to the self in the process: nihilism).
The net's older lifestyle was socialist. All mail hosts forwarded all mail, and it was easy to get around. Then came the idea that people owned chunks of the net, and could use it to "make money" (hahahaha). The good citizens of the net did not accept the newfound spam, and so began to close the tools of the spammers: hosts openly forwarding packets. Now everyone owns their sealed corner of the net and uses their own mailservers, and it takes 10x as long to get anything done because there are no replicated alternate pathways. A sad testimony to the immaturity of the mature in the human race - we'd rather find a victim and a demon than a process we could evolve to a more productive future.
But don't take it from me... http://www.anus.com/anus/maniphisto.html
Hey 'fang, have you hooked up a sysops-eye-view on this one? Must be weird as hell just to have random requests coming into your computer instead of live connections. And me beeping you in the middle of the night with the essence of destruction, personified...
Response #92 Hehe... well I can hear the drive grind, and if I care to see what's going on, I can look at my special "transaction log", which says stuff like "Crush The State added a reply to thread: Insidious Spam" followed immediately by "Lady Ninja looked at a topless picture of Da Sissop via the Amazing Nunnery WebCam." I'm paraphrasing, of course.
Regarding spam, what pisses me off the most is that I have no way of saying "You, sir, please don't ever send me anything like this again." I have that sort of right with p-mail and telephone solicitors, but with spam I'm generally screwed. I *have* to download it to delete it. I have no recourse. That *really* pisses me off.
By: Cleotis
Date: 3/6/98 12:49:45 PM
By: Da Sissop
Date: 3/6/98 6:21:15 PM
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 3/7/98 5:51:45 PM
By: Zane T. Dark
Date: 3/13/98 8:56:28 AM
By: Jay
Date: 3/16/98 10:34:08 AM
By: Crush the State
Date: 6/5/98 10:50:16 AM
By: Da Sissop
Date: 6/5/98 9:49:25 PM
Response #93
By: Capt. Spastic
Date: 6/6/98 1:02:51 PM
Spam doesn't really bother me. I get a load of it. Nice little filter in Eudora grabs certian keywords, and anything from anyone on AOL, and sends it straight to the trash. Never even see it. Anything that gets missed is so small in number, doesn't take much time to go through it. Just mail of any other type to me.
Response #94
By: sooz
Date: 6/8/98 1:40:27 AM
Eudora does that? I'm perking up, now.
Response #95
By: Gowan McGland
Date: 6/8/98 1:04:24 PM
Pegasus does the same thing and it's FREE.
Response #96
By: Capt. Spastic
Date: 6/8/98 10:36:37 PM
Yep, Eudors does all kinds of neat stuff. You cna even set it up to forward mail to another person. It's very cool.
Although it isn't free, there are certain discounts available.
Response #97
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 6/9/98 3:07:06 AM
And Eudora Light *is* free.
Response #98
By: Capt. Spastic
Date: 6/9/98 4:59:07 PM
But Eudora Light doesn't do all the cool stuff. It's still a damn nice reader if you ask me though.
Outlook has a lot of options. But I have 4 problems with Outlook:
1. It's made by Microsoft
2. Unless you are running 98, it really drags your system. (Learned a lot of neat stuff about 98's memory mangement in 98 training today)
3. It's really not that easy to configure (Although once you FINALLY get it configured, it's pretty darn powerful)
4. It's made by Microsoft.
(Get ready for MS to more invasive about your personal info in 98, it's almost getting scary)
Response #99
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 6/9/98 9:11:17 PM
I use Eudora Light, and it sorts my email... RTFM, dood. :-)
Response #100
By: Jay
Date: 6/9/98 9:32:57 PM
Oh Mandy...you came and you left without taking...
Response #101
By: Gowan McGland
Date: 6/10/98 12:58:17 AM
Jay, sometimes you are just too weird for words.
And update your damned profile. You ain't got no email at lsli.com anymore, buttmunch.
Response #102
By: Capt. Spastic
Date: 6/13/98 10:57:33 PM
Homer, I didn't say Light wouldn't sort your mail.
I HAVE to read manuals, it's my job.
Response #103
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 6/14/98 3:31:10 AM
>But Eudora Light doesn't do all the cool stuff. It's still a damn nice reader if you ask me though.
Well, you didn't say it *exactly*, but...
tee hee!
Response #104
By: Ralf
Date: 6/14/98 5:10:05 PM
Email readers?
Dammit, my Commodore can beat your lame-o Atari any day of the week.
Oh, and I'm not wearing any pants.
Response #105
By: Loki
Date: 6/16/98 1:13:22 AM
Oh yeah? I'm not wearing armpits!
Response #106
By: Zane T. Dark
Date: 6/16/98 7:01:56 PM
I thought I was hot-shit on a teflon skillet when I got my IIe with a 'DISK DRIVE' instead of tape....now I don't even have a 3d video card AND I'm not wearing any vision correction.
Response #107
By: Ralf
Date: 6/17/98 7:24:00 AM
So the polygons look extra fuzzy?
Seriously -- this'll show you how geeky I really am -- when I got my first Commodore disk drive, I literally wept with joy. I took my collection of tapes outside and smashed them with a hammer.
Long live the mighty disk! 160K per side!
Response #108
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 6/17/98 1:38:09 PM
You wacky geeky kid...
Response #109
By: Capt. Spastic
Date: 6/17/98 5:57:52 PM
Homer, cool stuff does not = sort mail.
Sorting mail is a MANDATORY fucntion!
Response #110
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 6/18/98 6:29:24 AM
I guess I just have a limited vision of what coolness could be...
I'm happy with sorted email. It means I can more efficiently ignore whole mailing lists.
Response #111
By: Zane T. Dark
Date: 6/24/98 7:31:10 AM
I would like to send a message out to all mail order companies...just because there is not a mail order house to fill a particular niche, does not mean there *should* be. {paraphrased from Jurassic Park, of course}
Response #112
By: Da Sissop
Date: 6/24/98 11:46:36 AM
I will mass-mail that for ya tonight.
Response #113
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 7/26/98 9:43:40 PM