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By: beinfang
Date: 12/15/97 10:45:20 AM
# Replies: 78
Er, in lieu of the forthcoming fancy link database (which I *will* get around to implementing eventually), I figured I'd go ahead and post some links here. Some of you may have seen 'em already, some of you may have originally sent them to *me*, but anyway...
Ask Elvis (Requires ShockWave plug-in)
Stick Figure Death Theater
Virtual Dog
Tickle Me Yoda
Dumpster Diver
The Rules
Slap a Spice Girl (Requires ShockWave plug-in)
Locations for Fine Beer in Houston
The Onion, Number One in News
Some Real
Badass Cheerleaders
Celebrity Slugfest (Requires ShockWave plug-in)
This guy needs PENS! Do you hear me? PENS!
Christian Metal Band or Star Trek Episode?
The Mike Rosoff Network
Response #1
By: Kathy
Date: 12/16/97 9:03:22 PM
You broke number 65 of The Rules several times on Sunday...
Get that link off of here. It's hard enough to meet decent guys these days. You're making it worse.
Response #2
By: Da Sissop
Date: 12/17/97 3:50:44 AM
But, see, I think decent guys can see that page and *learn* from the mistakes of others, see, and, and, become even more decent. See?
More links (Jay sent me these today)....
The Drunk Dancing Baby
Poke Alex in the Eye
Random Shakespearean Insult Generator
Response #3
By: Da Sissop
Date: 12/17/97 10:57:49 AM
Lotsa Interesting Anecdotes from Some Guy
Response #4
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 12/17/97 12:43:03 PM
Superbad.com: a Javascript trip toy...
e-sheep's Saturnalia: online comic about The Christmas Spirit.
Leisuretown: more comics. Leisuretown has a distinctly nun-ian flair about it...
Response #5
By: Da Sissop
Date: 12/23/97 10:47:54 AM
Here's another one Jay just sent me: The Dennis Miller Routine-O-Tron. This creates random unique Dennis Miller routines on the fly, using Dennis Miller Markup Language (DMML). I'm not making this up.
Response #6
By: Da Sissop
Date: 12/26/97 10:32:12 AM
Response #7
By: Cleotis
Date: 12/28/97 10:48:12 PM
My action packed links...
The Ebola Zaire Fan Club
All You Can Eat Free Vintage 80's video games - The MULTIPLE ARCADE MACHINE EMULATOR
The colest Space Invaders variant I've Ever Seen - Majestic Twelve, complete with a Cattle Mutilation Round!
Ben Folds Five web site
Web Pages That Suck
The Jennicam
The Judy's Web Site (which I've never finished)
Michael's Shockwave Epic - Transmitting To The World
The official Sigue Sigue Sputnik WWW site (maintained by Tony James himself) - Yes, they're still around!
I think that'll do it for now.
Response #8
By: Da Sissop
Date: 12/29/97 9:40:56 AM
I gotta tell ya, the JenniCam is quite possibly the greatest use of web technology I've ever seen.
Response #9
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 12/29/97 6:27:20 PM
For those of you who are Mac users who are interested in emulating old arcade games (and about a jillion other things, too), Emulation.Net is waycool.
The most amusing emulator they link to is the Macintosh emulator. Emulate a Macintosh on your Macintosh (this is actually useful if you have 68000-based software you need to run on your PPC).
Response #10
By: Gowan McGland
Date: 12/29/97 11:19:27 PM
I have to agree with Fang about the Jennicam.
I mean, living someone else's life vicariously through the Internet 30 minutes at a time.
Although, I prefer QuestionVision.
She's cuter.
Response #11
By: Jay
Date: 12/30/97 11:52:44 AM
All Nekkid Web Cam - ALL THE TIME!
Response #12
By: beinfang
Date: 1/1/98 11:31:04 AM
Wow.. turns out there are LOTS of exhibitionists out there.
Response #13
By: Ralf
Date: 1/3/98 5:35:51 PM
My current favorite is ANACam.
Response #14
By: sooz
Date: 1/4/98 6:16:40 PM
I clicked on it and saw an empty couch. Whattathrill.
Response #15
By: Cleotis
Date: 1/4/98 9:39:59 PM
Hey, some people are paying $15 a year to look at that couch!
Response #16
By: Da Sissop
Date: 1/5/98 2:58:26 PM
It is a nice couch.
Response #17
By: Ralf
Date: 1/5/98 5:30:41 PM
Sometimes you click on it and the couch is full of nekkid artiste.
Response #18
By: Da Sissop
Date: 1/8/98 1:55:29 AM
Okay, so if a couch doesn't float yer boat, then maybe you might like the Fridge Cam.
Response #19
By: Da Sissop
Date: 1/8/98 2:10:14 AM
Or maybe you'd prefer a camera pointed at somebody's small pet.
Response #20
By: Jay
Date: 1/8/98 11:40:16 AM
"My favorite computer book title: The Complete Demystified Idiots Guide to the Zen of Dummies in a Nutshell in Seven Days, Unleashed" -- Scott Hess
Response #21
By: rorschach
Date: 1/10/98 4:17:05 PM
Why do I get the feeling he's actually making MONEY with that book?
rather reminds me of a Dilbert cartoon I have, Dogbert says "I have invented a Human Stupidity Detector" (holding what appears to be a divining rod or a slingshot upside down) "It has a very simple user interface. All I do is point it at people." Dilbert says "And then what?" Dogbert says "Why would it need to do anything else?"
Response #22
By: Ralf
Date: 1/10/98 7:14:29 PM
Heh.
I witnessed a scene in Borders a few weeks back. A man was shopping for an Internet book for his son. The sales-person steered him towards the shelf of Dummies' and Idiots' guide, whereupon the man said, indignantly, "My son is NOT an idiot!" And turned on his heel.
Response #23
By: rorschach
Date: 1/11/98 5:02:54 PM
actually i personally own TWO of the dummies guides, course one is for unix.....
Response #24
By: Cleotis
Date: 1/11/98 8:04:22 PM
Has anyone written "An Idiot's Guide to Idiots"?
SOMEBODY would be idiot enough to buy it!
Response #25
By: Zane T. Dark
Date: 1/11/98 11:01:52 PM
Four new titles from InZane Press...
"Parachute-Packing For Dummies" "The Complete Idiot's Guide To Chainsaw Ice Sculpture Carving" "Nosepicking In A Nutshell" "Stain Removal Unleashed"
And our newest license sold to Bill himself..due out next Christmas:
Microsoft Fireplace 2.0
Response #26
By: Gowan McGland
Date: 1/12/98 2:47:31 AM
You would not believe some of the Dummie's books they're coming out with. I mean, I can understand maybe "Wine for Dummies", but "Opera for Dummies"?
Response #27
By: Da Sissop
Date: 1/12/98 8:15:24 AM
Don't forget "Sex For Dummies." This is possibly another example of how stupid people, who used to slam into inanimate objects, now continue to spread their DNA.
Response #28
By: Roxanne
Date: 1/12/98 1:42:52 PM
Next in the series:
"Commercial Aircraft Maintenance for Dummies"
"Brain Surgery Techniques for Dummies"
"Skyscraper Architechture for Dummies"
"Rocket Science for Dummies"
Response #29
By: Jay
Date: 1/12/98 2:20:10 PM
In a reverse vein....
"Friends" episode guide for Mensa
Response #30
By: Gowan McGland
Date: 1/12/98 7:03:04 PM
And now a list of Dummies books that are REAL:
Bartending For Dummies™ Basketball For Dummies™ Beer For Dummies™ Bird Watching For Dummies™ Bridge For Dummies™ Card Games For Dummies™ Cats For Dummies™ Chess For Dummies® Classical Music For Dummies™ Cocktail Parties For Dummies® College Financial Aid For Dummies™ College Planning For Dummies™, 2nd Edition Cooking For Dummies™ Dating For Dummies™ Desserts For Dummies™ Dogs For Dummies® Entertaining For Dummies™ Everyday Math For Dummies™ Figure Skating For Dummies™ Fishing for Dummies™ Fitness For Dummies™ Gardening For Dummies™ Golf For Dummies™ Good Life Volume I: Entertainment Companion™, The Good Life Volume II: Happy Hour Companion™, The Gourmet Cooking For Dummies™ Hockey For Dummies™ Home Buying For Dummies® Homebrewing For Dummies™ House Selling For Dummies™ Internet Directory For Dummies® Investing For Dummies® Job Interviews For Dummies® Law For Dummies® Lowfat Cooking For Dummies™ Mutual Fund$ For Dummie$® Nutrition For Dummies™ Opera For Dummies™ Parenting For Dummies™ Perennials For Dummies™ Personal Finance For Dummie$®, 2nd Edition Personal Finance For Dummies® For Canadians Politics For Dummies™ Red Wine For Dummies™ Resumes For Dummies® Roses For Dummies™ Sailing For Dummies™ Sex For Dummies® Time Management For Dummies®, Briefcase Edition Time Management For Dummies® VCRs & Camcorders For Dummies®, 2nd Edition Weddings For Dummies™ Weight Training For Dummies™ White Wine For Dummies™ Wine Buying Companion For Dummies™ Wine For Dummies™
I invite your comments.
Response #31
By: Da Sissop
Date: 1/12/98 8:58:51 PM
Self-Esteem for Dumfucks.
Response #32
By: Ralf
Date: 1/12/98 11:15:26 PM
The Dummies Guide to Writing Dummies Books.
Response #33
By: Zane T. Dark
Date: 1/13/98 4:07:33 AM
Well Gowan..I would comment..but the list kinda speaks for itself. (shudder)
"Filling Your Own Cavities For Dummies" "Gun Cleaning For Dummies" "Nuclear Submarine Missile Tube Maintenance For Dummies" "Laser Hang-Nail Removal For Dummies" "Life For Dummies"
Response #34
By: Roxanne
Date: 1/13/98 11:45:27 AM
I like the reverse idea:
"Double-Wide Trailers for Mensa Members"
"Tractor Pull Etiquette for Mensa Members"
Response #35
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 1/13/98 8:53:33 PM
I'm always glad to see when book publishers target titles to those with disabilities. Who'd have thought that they'd make so many books with the mute in mind?
Response #36
By: Zane T. Dark
Date: 1/14/98 5:52:34 AM
"Surviving A Crash Test For Dummies"
---sorry, I've been avoiding that one for days, it wouldn't stay put any longer.
Response #37
By: Da Sissop
Date: 1/14/98 9:28:23 PM
Found another waycool cam site... It's ConcreteCam. She's a really cool chick who doesn't get nekkid on the internet, and dammit, I respect that.
Response #38
By: Da Sissop
Date: 1/14/98 9:51:59 PM
...And... I have found the Mother-Of-All Cam REVIEW sites: Ho-Cams. Beeg funny. Kids, be sure and ask your parents before you click.
Response #39
By: Ralf
Date: 1/15/98 6:32:51 PM
I take it we're not viewing jolly old Saint Nick...
Response #40
By: Da Sissop
Date: 1/16/98 4:23:54 PM
On a more somber note, it's something that nobody really likes to think about, but it is inevitable, and our loved ones are much better off if we spell out our wishes and pre-plan our own arrangements.
That's why I think you should check out the Summum Mummification site today. If they *could*, they'd do it for free, but they can't, so you'll need at least a $41,000 life insurance policy.
Response #41
By: Ralf
Date: 1/17/98 5:59:36 PM
Need something translated from one language to another?
Check out the Babelfish Translator.
(Je ne porte aucun pantalon!)
Response #42
By: Da Sissop
Date: 1/17/98 7:12:34 PM
Ich habe einen sehr großen Penis.
J'ai un pénis très grand.
Tengo un pene muy grande.
Response #43
By: Zane T. Dark
Date: 1/18/98 6:16:12 AM
And now, in portugese..
Minha cabeça sente como o pudim, beija-me você tolo do yankee!
Response #44
By: Da Sissop
Date: 1/18/98 8:32:21 AM
Hadda go translate that one back to English. Here's what I got:
"My head feels as the pudding, kisses me you fool of the yankee!"
Response #45
By: Cleotis
Date: 1/18/98 11:32:36 AM
All these years, I thought I knew how to insult someone in spanish, and now I find that I've been telling people "Your Mother Eats Yard".
Oh, man. This is not good.
Response #46
By: Ralf
Date: 1/18/98 6:11:21 PM
"Ju steenkin YARD EATER! Dweller een FEELTH! Ah betchju momma had innercourse with EARDAWORMS!!!1!"
Response #47
By: Zane T. Dark
Date: 1/19/98 1:51:19 AM
Glancing over at 'Fang..."That's cheating! What, your portugese *that* rusty?"
Response #48
By: Da Sissop
Date: 1/19/98 5:56:56 AM
Found another interesting translator. You type in a web page address, and it will translate the page into your native tongue (pimp, skinhead, redneck, etc.).
Response #49
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 1/20/98 4:10:43 AM
Response #50
By: Da Sissop
Date: 1/20/98 11:27:46 AM
Response #51
By: Gowan McGland
Date: 1/21/98 1:28:17 AM
For those guys out there who are lonely and have an extra five or six grand lying around:
Response #52
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 1/21/98 3:49:43 AM
I don't care about the RealDoll. I want the little tittie things that company used to market. They were palm-sized, flesh-colored silicone boobies, complete with aureolas and nipples.
::squishie squishie::
Response #53
By: Da Sissop
Date: 1/21/98 9:52:00 AM
Pretty amazing site, Gowan. It's got me thinkin'...
Alien Autopsy Love Dolls!
Response #54
By: Jay
Date: 1/21/98 2:18:08 PM
Thith could be the coolisth thite I've ever theen Bevis Well worth it just for the image repository.
Response #55
By: Cleotis
Date: 1/21/98 8:19:21 PM
I saw one of those Real Doll's on Stern's show last week. He had Fred in the bathroom makin' it with the doll.
Stern liked the mouth a lot, but Fred said he had to "finish the job by hand".
This information was presented to you strictly as a pubic, er, public service.
Response #56
By: Tess Trueheart
Date: 1/24/98 9:28:37 AM
Can't get a Real Woman? Then get a Real Doll(tm)...and you'll never hear again...
"Beige...I think I'll paint the ceiling beige..."
Response #57
By: sooz
Date: 1/24/98 12:42:21 PM
Whoa. April Flowers and I used to say that a lot. Er, not with each other, I mean.
Response #58
By: Zane T. Dark
Date: 1/24/98 2:17:58 PM
"The ceiling fan is getting wobbly...nose-hair clippers for Christmas, for the stocking"
Response #59
By: Jay
Date: 1/26/98 10:03:46 AM
Response #60
By: Jay
Date: 1/27/98 1:14:41 PM
Haiku error messages
The world of high-tech has been called soulless -- a charge that is borne out by on-screen error messages like "abort/retry/fail?" and "404 -- file not found."
Below, a modest attempt at change -- an error message in the form of a haiku poem:
Something you entered transcended parameters. So much is unknown.
Readers are invited to submit up to three error messages written as haiku poems. The haiku is a three-line poem in the 5/7/5 form (first line 5 syllables, second line 7, third line 5).
R U L E S: Send your submissions via e-mail only to salon21st@salonmagazine.com.
Please include your full name and an accurate e-mail address so we can contact you if you're a winner. By submitting your entry you give Salon permission to publish it. Deadline for entries is Feb. 2, 1998.
Response #61
By: Da Sissop
Date: 1/28/98 1:26:12 AM
Okay, you read the comics. You saw the ads. You spent weeks saving up the money, you sent away for the product, waited for what seemed like a lifetime, and then, finally, it arrived. And you were really pissed off at what you actually got.
Relive the memories: Comic Book Ads.
Me? I ordered the remote-controlled "Monster Ghost". They sent me a white balloon and a piece of string.
Response #62
By: Gowan McGland
Date: 1/28/98 11:42:07 PM
This harkens back a few messages, but the previosuly mentioned Dorthy Gale is on a mailing list I'm on and recently posted the following:
-----------------
Those of you with access to the web should waste a few hours on a new service promoted by one of the larger "search engines". Alta Vista now has an instant translation service. The idea is to be able to have it read a web site written in, say, Italian, and print it on your screen in English. But you can also enter your own text for translation, as I did below.
In all modesty, I happen to think I have chosen the most humorously appropriate text possible for testing a translation service.
To speak in tongues yourself, visit http://babelfish.altavista.digital.com ----------------------------------------------------------
The original: "When I use a word," Humpty Dumpty said, in a rather scornful tone, "it means just what I choose it to mean, neither more nor less."
Into French: " quand j'utilise un mot, " Humpty Dumpty l'a indiquée, dans une tonalité plutôt scornful, " signifie au juste ce que je ne le choisis pour vouloir dire, ni plus ni moins. "
... and back into English from the French: " when I use a word, " Humpty Dumpty indicated, in a dial tone rather scornful, " means with the Juste what I choose it to want to say, neither more nor less "
The original into German: " wenn ich ein Wort verwende, " Humpty gesagtes Dumpty, in einem ziemlich scornful Ton, " er bedeutet, gerade was ich es beschließe, um zu bedeuten, weder mehr noch kleiner. "
... and back into English: " if I a word use, " Humpty said Dumpty, in one quite scornful..tone, " he meant, even which I it decide, in order to mean, neither more nor smaller."
How about Italian? " quando uso una parola, " Humpty Dumpty lo ha detto, in un tono piuttosto scornful, " significa appena che cosa lo scelgo per significare, nè più nè di meno. "
... and reverse: " when use a word, " Humpty Dumpty has said it, in a tone rather scornful, " means hardly that what chooses it in order to mean, neither more neither than less "
... and finally, into Spanish: " cuando utilizo una palabra, " Humpty Dumpty lo dijo, en un tono algo scornful, " significa apenas lo que lo elijo para significar, ni más ni menos. "
... and back again: " when I use a word, " Humpty Dumpty said it, in a tone something scornful, " means hardly what I choose it to mean, neither the more nor the less "
You know, I think Humpty was absolutely right...
-----------
This reprinted without permission of nobody cause it's on my computer and I'll do with it as I damn well please.
Response #63
By: Da Sissop
Date: 1/29/98 11:52:39 AM
Tell Dorothy to get his butt over here. And did ya ever invite Mona Bare?
Response #64
By: Da Sissop
Date: 1/29/98 6:51:52 PM
America's sweetheart... The Monica Lewinsky Fan Page.
Response #65
By: Jay
Date: 1/30/98 11:00:15 AM
I wonder if she'll do a web cam
Response #66
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 1/31/98 4:10:58 PM
Thank you thank you for the comic book ads link... I'll be able to steal *plenty* of that stuff for a web site I'm working on.
Response #67
By: sooz
Date: 2/1/98 2:32:31 PM
Hey Homer... I tried to leave you mail, but the address you left bounced back. Wah.
Response #68
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 2/2/98 12:09:28 AM
Ahh. All updated now. I guess geocities doesn't like me anymore.
Response #69
By: Jay
Date: 2/2/98 11:56:22 AM
Those tobacco-less, safer'Bravo' lettuce cigarettes are now for sale on the Web. About $3.75 a pack.
Response #70
By: Gowan McGland
Date: 2/3/98 1:19:27 AM
Here's a cool URL that'll do a typing test for you:
http://www.selftestonline.com/board/keyboard/typing_new/typing.html
I'm too lazy to convert to a clickable link, so deal.
Response #71
By: Cleotis
Date: 2/16/98 8:21:29 PM
Here's a bizarre site that guaranteed to fry your brain if you waitch it long enough. A little investigation has unearthed the theory that it's kind of a web "performance art" piece, but nobody's really sure...
http://www.jodi.org
Response #72
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 2/16/98 10:07:42 PM
jodi.org is along the same lines as www.superbad.com (which I think I've mentioned here before...)
Someone screwing around with javascript in an artful way.
Response #73
By: Jay
Date: 2/17/98 10:02:16 AM
Response #74
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 2/17/98 10:30:57 PM
Includes mpeg3 files of Negativland's U2 album, and John Oswald's 'Plunderphonics,' which is absolutely amusing.
Also on the same site, IllegalArt, whose latest project is 'Deconstructing Beck.' Hear your favorite Beck songs mangled beyond recognition!
Response #75
By: Zipperhead
Date: 2/24/98 12:15:04 PM
Heres on for Ralf, www.thespankingpage.com
Response #76
By: Hijinx
Date: 3/5/98 11:05:29 PM
Hey I gotta idea...if we had a chat room...i could be talking to Cleotis right now...but NOOOOO...wait, I'm still new here...I haven't been here long enough to bitch about stuff.
Response #77
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 3/6/98 2:21:10 AM
Ok, well. I just added my icq number to my profile. anyone else shackled to that evil conspiracy?
Response #78
By: Zane T. Dark
Date: 3/13/98 8:58:12 AM
I am..but I lately I've been leaving it offline mode because I couldn't get any quality surfing done (holding back a giggle at the word combination 'quality surfing')