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By: Zanda
Date: 3/15/98 11:30:36 PM
# Replies: 84
I need anybodies help...anyone that remotely understands Netscape...I think that my copy is possesed by satan...dont bother sending me e-mail....IT DONT WORK...and the nipple heads at the tech support made it more broke...so if you have a clue please...reply... Thank you
Response #1
By: Jay
Date: 3/16/98 10:40:23 AM
Perhaps a sacrifice to this saint:
The Times
March 16 1998EUROPE
Martyr of Stalinism 'selected' as patron saint of football
FROM RICHARD OWEN IN ROME
A BULGARIAN bishop who yesterday became the first victim of Stalinism to be beatified is being canvassed as the future patron saint of football.
Yevgeni Bosilkov, the former Bishop of Nicopoli in Bulgaria, was declared "blessed" - the penultimate step to sainthood - by the Pope at St. Peter's. Two nuns were also beatified: an Italian, Brigida Morello, who lived in the 17th century, and the 19th-century Carmen Salles of Spain.
Bishop Bosilkov was condemned to death in 1952 in Sofia for opposing Stalin's anti-religious laws. He was charged with "subversion and espionage", tortured and executed at the age of 52, facing the firing squad "in the odour of sanctity", according to supporters. His body was thrown into a common grave, and it was only in 1975 that Todor Zhivkov, the Communist leader, admitted the killing to the Pope.
Bishop Bosilkov's beatification became "less problematical" after the fall of the Berlin Wall, Vatican officials say. But papal plans to visit Bulgaria to mark the step were obstructed by the Orthodox Church. The Pope said that the bishop had been "one of the many victims of atheistic communism ... in its programme of annihilation of the Church".
Bishop Bosilkov is also remembered as a down-to-earth man whose main secular interest was football. According to his niece, Sister Gabriella, 80, a nun who attended the ceremony, he was a man of "great personal charisma" who chain-smoked, entertained friends with funny stories and founded a hunting club.
His "passion for football" never went beyond the local level, but he played it "all his life", she said. What more fitting candidate, Corriere della Sera asked, to become patron saint of football, and possibly of hunting as well, although St Eustace already fills that role.
The response was enthusiastic, not least in the Vatican, which has its own football league, with teams for Vatican Radio, the Secret Archives, the Vatican Post Office and the Vatican Fire Brigade. There is also a Vatican five-a-side team, which is doing so well that its manager, Roberto Di Stefano, is thinking of fielding an 11-man team in the national league.
"Having a patron saint is a marvellous idea," said Signor Di Stefano. "Of course, we already have a bit of help from above here in the Vatican, but a few extra prayers could not do any harm." There are patron saints for athletics (St Sebastian), anglers (St Andrew), gun enthusiasts (St Barbara), huntsmen (St Eustace), dancers (St Vitus), for fliers (St Joseph of Copertino), mountaineers (St Bernard of Aosta) and yachtsmen (St Nicholas).
The Pope was a keen football player as a young man in Poland and is said to follow the fortunes of the Vatican teams closely.
Response #2
By: Zanda
Date: 3/16/98 1:08:20 PM
That was interesting reading...but how does it help me?
Response #3
By: Da Sissop
Date: 3/16/98 6:47:52 PM
Okay, ummm... perhaps you could give a few more details as to why you think Old Scratch has taken control of your browser.
If it's the little animated picture of the earth being pelted with fiery rocks from the sky, I'm pretty sure that's normal for Netscape browsers.
Response #4
By: Zanda
Date: 3/17/98 12:21:13 AM
Well,first sometimes the e-mail works great...then sometimes it tells me that My inbox does not exsist...Then sometimes all of a sudden my 'puter will restart itself...and then sometimes it tells me my password is not my password....Shall I go on?? Well, Finally I called the SwBell support they are my ISP and they told me to delte my sent files...that they might be corrupted...no prob right....well that is when all of the aformention crap started...My only prob before was that it would not send e-mail...So, now I have to buy crack rocks for my hard drive. But, thewn I got a great idea to delete the whole damn thing and start all over agian...that made it worse...So, now I am at a loss for what to do...I can recieve email sometimes now but I dont think that I can send it.....shrug
Response #5
By: Da Sissop
Date: 3/17/98 7:26:55 AM
Okay, well, you might try uninstalling the whole netscape package and reinstalling (as opposed to deleting and reinstalling). Under Windows 95 this can be accomplished via the Control Panel --> Add/Remove Programs icon.
Or you could do like I do and just use Eudora Light for email.
Response #6
By: Zipperhead
Date: 3/17/98 11:12:53 AM
Netscape has always had a problem with email. Eudora IS the answer.
Response #7
By: Zanda
Date: 3/17/98 11:56:57 AM
Well,I am running...3.1 so if there is a way to uninstall then I have no idea how to do it...and what pray tell is Eudora??I think i am going to have to....gasp...switch to Internet Explorer...even though when I installed that I couldnt get it to work at all I guess I am just not meant to be on the Net.
Response #8
By: rorschach
Date: 3/17/98 7:32:47 PM
which version of netscape are you running? the most recent for windows 3.1 that has integrated e-mail (as opposed to netscape communicator) is v3.01. i'm running it on a win for workgroups machine using e-mail with no problems and have for almost a year now.... so it IS possible to do so problem free... if you mail system gets corrupted, you WILL have to delete the user in question and re-enter your passwords which SWB SHOULD walk you through, if they don't perhaps a different ISP is in order... personally I use AT&T, not the cheapest or the fastest, but thier tech support has always been pretty good. MCI has pretty good tech support too but thier lines and servers are SLOW....
Response #9
By: Ralf
Date: 3/17/98 7:52:51 PM
EEEEeek! Upgrade THIS INSTANT to Windows95. If you can.
Internet stuff is so much better with '95.
Want a CD?
Response #10
By: Zanda
Date: 3/17/98 11:10:00 PM
Well, if someone wants to donate me a new board I would more than happily upgrade. This is by no means a choice kinda thing. The rest of the machine was donated and I am not above handouts:) Well, I would LOVE to have the CD if I had a CD-Rom drive. Dont bother donating one. I have no slot for it. I have a Compaq and for some reason only known to God it only has one slot in the front. Which is the biggest reason that I cannot run '95. The reason that I went with Swbell is because I like the factr that they will bill it to my phone bill. BTW, Swbell did walk me through it, but the problem is that I only have one line so he could only help me so much...
Response #11
By: Mycroft
Date: 3/20/98 5:03:09 AM
OK, several things. First, look for a file called nuninst.exe in your netscape directory. That will uninstall netscape. You can also look for .INF files for netscape. (netscape.inf) they hold your settings.
If you could provide me with a concice list of error and when/how they occur, i can help more. I troubleshoot netscape for 30-odd hours a week (I _really need to work on the work-ethic thing) and would eb happy to help you on one condition. Never, EVER, assign a humanlike quality to your machine again. It's not posessed, it doesn't hate you, it's just broken.
Tech support puts certain strains on one's psyche that are hard to supress if tripped. It's a tough job, but most of the world is too stupid to do it.
How do you spell concise, anyway? Welcome to Nuns.
Response #12
By: Da Sissop
Date: 3/20/98 7:27:36 AM
Aw drat, I broke the little cupholder.
Response #13
By: Loki
Date: 3/20/98 12:46:01 PM
Forget this new-fangled mumbo-jumbo. In the intrest of getting back to the OLD-fangled mumbo-jumbo, I present you with Jaka's patented GREMLIN BANISHING RITUAL
Materials: 1 piece of chalk, 5 black candles, lighter, brazier(or pyrex cooking bowl), incense, 1 quart 40 weight motor oil(used is better), handfull of obsolete computer chips or SIMS, container of lighter fluid.
Procedure: Set your computer in an open space of floor or desk and draw a small circle around it with the chalk. Set the five candles around it, evenly spaced, and as you light them invoke the sacred names of ADA, TURING, BABBAGE, and JOBS.
Light the incense. Take the obsolete chips and smash them up with a hammer. Collect the pieces and put them in the brazier. Pour the motor oil over the smashed bits, then add a few squirts of lighter fluid. Ignite.
Leave the area for at least half an hour, and when you come back all gremlins should be removed from your computer.
If this doesn't work, call in an exorcist. Or Mycroft.
Response #14
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 3/20/98 4:44:11 PM
nuninst.exe?
You want Zanda to instal nuns on her computer?
"Please select a specific order from the following menu:.."
Response #15
By: Zanda
Date: 3/22/98 7:22:57 PM
Well,It does not really give any error messages persay,It will just freeze up while I am online, or it will poof restart my puter while I am online. I think that I finally have the e-mail thing figured out though. Oh, and just about every time that I boot up Norton says that I have file allocation errors which I proceed to let it fix. I will pay attention next time and see what they are.
Response #16
By: rorschach
Date: 3/23/98 7:14:44 PM
ok, that tells me one of two things,either: a: your hard drive may be wandering off into space and screwing up your file structure (which windows absolutely HAS to have kept straight, because it is constantly swapping bits of itself and the programs running back and forth to the hard drive swap file.) if the swap file is getting corrupted due to a flaky HD or HD controller then windows will do some very strange things. like freezing, rebooting sponaeneously, etc.
B: it could be the other way around. netscape has it's own "swap files" that it keeps open while you are online, these are the "cache" that allow you punch the "back" button and not have to wait for the site to reload from the net. if netscape dies without closing out these files properly it could leave the file structure in a mess. this is also why you don't want to switch the machine off without exiting windows. windows won't be able to close the files it has open and the fat/file structure won't agree with each other then. this leads to the problems in (a) above... it becomes a vicious circle.
Response #17
By: Zanda
Date: 3/23/98 9:19:29 PM
Well, what can I do about either problem??
Response #18
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 3/24/98 5:51:25 AM
This is a job for...
....peter norton!
Response #19
By: Jay
Date: 3/24/98 12:13:37 PM
...the porn star?
Response #20
By: Gowan McGland
Date: 3/24/98 12:35:31 PM
See, tech support in person is hard enough.
tech support over the phone can be mind boggling.
Tech support over a static BBS is..well, let's say the results are generally less than perfect.
Someone needs to go to this woman's house and fix her computer.
It's as simple as that.
Response #21
By: Zanda
Date: 3/24/98 2:17:04 PM
If anyone wants to come to my house and fix my computer, for food or beer, or both. Leave me E-mail, and I will tell you how to get here.
(Only serious offers need apply) :)
Response #22
By: Mycroft
Date: 3/24/98 6:09:54 PM
What part of town do you live in?
Response #23
By: Ralf
Date: 3/24/98 8:41:46 PM
Do you live near Atlanta?
:-)
Response #24
By: Zanda
Date: 3/24/98 9:05:31 PM
I live on the Northside of Houston,I dont guess that is too close to Atlanta...
Response #25
By: Da Sissop
Date: 3/24/98 10:24:39 PM
Can you bring your computer to the Ale House?
Response #26
By: Jay
Date: 3/25/98 10:58:41 AM
Well Missy, here's your problem, someone dropped a stuffed jalapino on the processor...wait I did that...don't worry, a little beer will clean that right up....
Response #27
By: Loki
Date: 3/25/98 2:36:59 PM
OOoh! Oooh! An exorcism! I'll bring the chalk and the blood, ok?!
Hmmm... now where are we going to get a virgin and a hose at this time of night....
Response #28
By: Zanda
Date: 3/25/98 8:22:04 PM
1) yes I could bring it to the Ale House, I think I know where that is. But where would I plug it in? 2)Stuffed jalapeno...my husband is a chef...very distict possibility... 3)I have a hose but, you arent gpoing to find a virgin anywhere near my house.
Response #29
By: Da Sissop
Date: 3/25/98 9:59:37 PM
Hmmm... the word "husband" complicates things a bit...
I'm afraid your PC is toast... :)
Well okay, technically on a *weekend* it might be fixed...
Response #30
By: Zanda
Date: 3/27/98 9:36:20 AM
Well, we wont officially be married until May,so ya' know I really want my computer fixed (wink,wink).
Response #31
By: Da Sissop
Date: 3/27/98 1:14:50 PM
(SFX: Doorbell.)
HOLLYWOOD STARLET: Who is it?
VOICE FROM BEHIND DOOR: Computer repairman!
(Cue bad disco music.)
Response #32
By: Zanda
Date: 3/27/98 7:59:41 PM
Thank You for all of the interesting offers for help. Maybe first we can try to fix it, when that doesnt work, we can try to exorsise it, and wqhen thqat dont work we can say screw it and go get drunk.
Response #33
By: Cleotis
Date: 3/28/98 12:13:44 AM
It's more fun to get drunk first, then try to fix it, then screw.
FYI: It still won't work the morning after.
Response #34
By: rorschach
Date: 3/28/98 3:12:03 PM
I assume you mean the computer cleo!
Response #35
By: Zanda
Date: 3/30/98 11:19:35 PM
I'm not too sure if I wanna know...
Response #36
By: Zipperhead
Date: 3/31/98 1:46:56 PM
Zanda try Spanking it!
Response #37
By: Zanda
Date: 3/31/98 10:56:38 PM
Hmmm...hadnt tried spanking it yet...but with my luck it would end up rebelling and running off to Mexico with a Mac or something.
Response #38
By: Jay
Date: 4/1/98 11:02:30 AM
>Microsoft today announced that they are to rename Windows 98 >"Windows Diana". They expect that it too will be superficially >attractive, consume lots of resources and crash horribly.
Response #39
By: Cleotis
Date: 4/1/98 10:24:52 PM
BLAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAAH!!!!
*gasp gasp gasp for breath*
BLLHASHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAAHAHHAAHHAHAHA!!!!
Response #40
By: Zanda
Date: 4/2/98 12:49:00 AM
drums...cymbal....hehehehehehehehehe
Response #41
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 4/2/98 2:10:51 PM
"Many of you have developed a justifiable affection for your Macintosh. There's no reason why you shouldn't develop the same feeling for your Windows-based computer. We hope your experience in this workshop is the first step toward doing so."
-- http://www.microsoft.com/education/curric/macwin/prtguide.htm
Response #42
By: Zanda
Date: 4/2/98 10:03:28 PM
The only feels I have for my Windows based system is apathy,The Mac I use at work pretty much evokes the smae feelings...
Response #43
By: Ralf
Date: 4/4/98 6:09:11 PM
They're TOOLS dammit.
Loving inanimate objects is unhealthy.
STOP THE MADNESS!
Response #44
By: Zanda
Date: 4/5/98 12:28:33 AM
Actually, mine is getting progressively worse..now it is saying that it is not getting a socket connection when I KNOW it is...
Response #45
By: rorschach
Date: 4/5/98 6:10:56 PM
that depends on which socket you are talking about...... in THIS context, it means that netscape is having difficulty talking to an applet called the winsock.dll or possibly the RIGHT winsock.dll.... you might have more than one which could be causing your problems. if you are using something like trumpet for your dialler, it wants to use it's own winsock program and there can't be TWO in the path or it will try to use the wrong one.... winsock.dll establishes the TCP/IP stack for windows applications to use through a standardized resource request structure. anything that wants to use the internet issues a request to winsock.dll for service, if the winsock (windows TCP/IP socket is what it means...) is screwed up for one reason or another, any program requesting TCP/IP service will goof up..... windows 3.11 for workgroups, windows 95 both come with thier own internal winsock.dll programs, if the SWBell dialler software has it's own version, you will need to delete or rename the original versions so that windows won't try to use them. and probably re-install the dialler software to ensure it is properly hooked into the system.
Response #46
By: Gowan McGland
Date: 4/6/98 10:30:15 PM
Okay, let me sum up what's going on here:
You have Windows 3.1. You don't have a CDROM.
Your Netscape mail doesn't work.
Do you have a Pentium? How much ram do you have? How much hard drive space?
I might be persuaded to come over and bring my extra CDROM with me. We can hook it up while we need it and then disconnect it when I'm done.
Btw, although I understand money is a defining factor here, they DO make external CDROMS that work off the parallel port.
Response #47
By: Zanda
Date: 4/6/98 11:06:13 PM
I have been trying to look into getting an external CD, but they are almost immpossible to find and the ones I have found are like 185 dollars, so needless to say I cant afford one at this point...If you want to come over E-mail me Gowan with your number. I would E-mail you with mine but It is not working again...shrug
Btw, I have plenty of RAM, no I dont have a pentium...And,(promise not to laugh) I have about 200 megs hard drive space. All I can offer as payment is good food and mediocre beer(unless I send my husband o buy then which it is slightly better).
Response #48
By: Da Sissop
Date: 4/7/98 6:06:45 PM
Have him get a keg, and we'll all come over and fix yer 'puter.
Response #49
By: Zanda
Date: 4/7/98 8:51:18 PM
uhhhh...no.+ r565555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555red6 Cout3esyw324656565655666666666 Courtesy Zanda Jr.
Response #50
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 4/7/98 10:52:55 PM
O my! The Pentium floating point error!!
I got a scsi card (for a PC) with my scanner. I know where to get scsi CD-ROMs for $10 ("untested/no warranty"). Unfortunately I live two timezones away.
Response #51
By: Da Sissop
Date: 4/8/98 11:44:53 AM
That's only... (does math in head)... that's only two hours away, dood.
Response #52
By: Jay
Date: 4/9/98 4:42:21 PM
those ksim-bob lessons really paid off
Response #53
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 4/11/98 1:02:45 AM
Two hours, if you can go faster than the earth spins.
I'll just upload the cd-rom drives for you to download at your leisure...
Response #54
By: Zanda
Date: 4/13/98 9:40:13 PM
Well, someone come help me...Now I will feed ya give you beer AND pay ya' five bucks...I am about to give up.
Response #55
By: Zipperhead
Date: 4/14/98 3:27:37 PM
Ill come and help Zanda. Keep the Five Bucks. But get me some Canadian Mist and some Ice.
Response #56
By: Da Sissop
Date: 4/17/98 2:17:09 PM
And it better be a thick, omnipresent mist, blanketing the moors. And hounds... do you have any hounds?
Response #57
By: Zanda
Date: 4/19/98 9:08:31 PM
No hounds but I have a pregnant kitty cat. And, I think that I can round up candian mist...or some facsimilie there of...leave me e-mail I may or may not get it.
Response #58
By: Zipperhead
Date: 4/20/98 1:02:04 PM
Zanda email me at redwing50@hotmail.com
Response #59
By: Ralf
Date: 4/22/98 5:56:27 PM
Don't do it! It's a trap!
Response #60
By: The Sorcerer
Date: 5/1/98 12:13:50 AM
It's like a strange little soap opera.... Will Zanda get her 'puter fixed this week?? :)
BTW...hi everyone. Long time no see, eh?
Sorc'(Rev)
Response #61
By: Gowan McGland
Date: 5/2/98 5:21:02 PM
Okay, okay, I'll do it.
You can send me email at gowan@phoenix.net or send Fang email (using his handy dandy browser based "Send the Sissop Email") with your contact info and he can forward it to me.
Response #62
By: Shadow Sprite
Date: 5/3/98 4:42:11 PM
Or you could use the all-purpose solution that I use where I work. "Hmm... You own a piece of crap. You might consider purchasing a new computer." This of course, coming from someone who sells computers and yest still owns a 486/166... sigh.
Response #63
By: Da Sissop
Date: 5/3/98 11:45:56 PM
Heya Sorc! (waving)
Actually I think she requested that you (meaning you who have volunteered for on-site tech support) should send email to HER, as she may not be able to get back to this message thread until her 'puter is unbroke-ified.
Response #64
By: The Sorcerer
Date: 5/5/98 1:33:05 AM
Heya Fang! (wave) (wave)
So when is the next triva night? I need some advanced warning.
Sorc'(Rev)
Response #65
By: jaka
Date: 5/6/98 2:05:31 PM
Zanda--
Abandon Netscape.
Opera is smaller, faster, has about as many features... (and fewer, er, "features")
ftp://ftp.ind.net/pub/browsers/opera/o321e16.exe
...is the latest version for Windows 3.1x
Response #66
By: Capt. Spastic
Date: 5/6/98 10:47:06 PM
Opera? Very lacking if you ask me.
Response #67
By: Mycroft
Date: 5/9/98 12:04:18 PM
Opera's cool, it's a good primary browser to use for most of what's out there.
Response #68
By: Gowan McGland
Date: 5/10/98 11:59:48 AM
I think Zanda may be outta the loop.
I sent her email.
I left a message here.
No reply at all.
When was the last time she logged on Jim?
Response #69
By: Da Sissop
Date: 5/10/98 1:01:42 PM
April 19th.
Hmmm.. maybe I *do* need to add some sorta user list.
Response #70
By: Capt. Spastic
Date: 5/14/98 10:01:20 PM
Well, she's got a sproulet these days, so I imagine that's keeping her busy. She mailed me for the first time in forever the other day
Response #71
By: rorschach
Date: 5/16/98 8:52:23 AM
sproulet? dammit speak AMERICAN!
Response #72
By: Ralf
Date: 5/17/98 10:11:02 PM
Uh, immature humanoid offspring/parasital unit?
Response #73
By: Da Sissop
Date: 5/18/98 10:59:46 AM
Robert Sproulet?
Response #74
By: Jay
Date: 5/19/98 9:30:31 AM
He stars in Camoulet
Response #75
By: Ralf
Date: 5/20/98 12:03:55 AM
He eats jam and ham and spamalot.
Response #76
By: Shadow Sprite
Date: 5/20/98 9:20:14 AM
I have to push the pram a lot.
Response #77
By: Zipperhead
Date: 5/23/98 10:48:30 AM
Hey Zanda what the fuck happened to my bottle of Canadian Mist?
Response #78
By: Da Sissop
Date: 5/23/98 3:14:03 PM
I'll bet she gave it to that French guy, Sproulet.
Response #79
By: Capt. Spastic
Date: 5/25/98 10:45:28 AM
Or maybe it was his dad, the Green Giant. Or that bitch mom of his, Asparagus Tips. (She's done the whole valley you know)
Response #80
By: Jay
Date: 5/26/98 10:13:40 PM
Asparagus Tips makes my pee smell funny
Response #81
By: Capt. Spastic
Date: 5/27/98 4:52:05 PM
Jay, are you sticking your head in the toilet again after you piss?
Response #82
By: Jay
Date: 5/28/98 10:23:10 AM
well, noone leaves water in my dish anymore
Response #83
By: Ralf
Date: 5/29/98 6:48:20 PM
Sounds like a C&W song to me...
No-body leaves me water,
In mah dish no more.
My master done up an left me
Now I lap it up off the floor.
Response #84
By: Capt. Spastic
Date: 5/30/98 1:37:29 AM
Aw man, that's so sad, ah think ah gots ta go put gas in mah pick-up truwk, so it don't go without. I jest cain't stand it no more!