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By: Jay
Date: 1/9/98 10:40:35 AM
# Replies: 71
What name would you use if you became a porn star?
...sincerely Woody LaRue
Response #1
By: Zane T. Dark
Date: 1/9/98 11:52:35 AM
Hmmm, how about The Texas Tickler? Nah, that sounds like something you'd buy in a souvenir shop. Which, oddly enough, reminds me of this plumbing supply place on 1960 called 'U Plumb It'..which I think should also sell sky diving and bungie-jumping equipment. {we now return to our regularly scheduled train of thought}...I know, Peter Sellers.
Response #2
By: Da Sissop
Date: 1/9/98 1:21:22 PM
Seems I recall reading somewhere about a formula for determining your "porn name." Something about combining your first pet's name and a street you have lived on.
That would probably make me Rowford San Felipe.
Response #3
By: Zane T. Dark
Date: 1/9/98 8:04:30 PM
No, I think you're confusing that with the "How to determine your Queen Name" for cross-dressers...but it still works.
Response #4
By: Ralf
Date: 1/10/98 7:21:45 PM
Oscar Woodbine Way.
I LIKE it!
Response #5
By: Tess Trueheart
Date: 1/11/98 9:09:30 AM
Ooooh! That would make me...WonderLance Goldstone...
Response #6
By: sooz
Date: 1/11/98 12:43:24 PM
I'm Fluffy Rosedale. Pleased to meet ya.
Response #7
By: Cleotis
Date: 1/11/98 8:11:59 PM
Stinky 47th, here. Nice to do ya.
Response #8
By: Zane T. Dark
Date: 1/11/98 11:08:34 PM
Willow C. LaFou
Response #9
By: Gowan McGland
Date: 1/12/98 2:51:32 AM
Caesar Southwest Parkway
Response #10
By: Roxanne
Date: 1/12/98 1:45:16 PM
If I were a male porn star:
Miles Long
Response #11
By: Zane T. Dark
Date: 1/13/98 4:11:43 AM
Harry Jules
Response #12
By: Jay
Date: 1/13/98 10:02:28 AM
Harve Simplex
Response #13
By: Cleotis
Date: 1/13/98 6:26:05 PM
For some real fun, go check out this band:
Dick Delicious And The Tasty Testicles
They've got the best porn names, and some hil-freakin-arious music. The CD was a great investment!
Response #14
By: rorschach
Date: 1/15/98 6:51:05 PM
if I were a woman and following the above formula: Heather Twinbrooke
Response #15
By: Jay
Date: 1/16/98 1:14:10 PM
Candi Kuffs
Response #16
By: Ralf
Date: 1/16/98 4:36:50 PM
Sadie Masso Kissed
Response #17
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 1/16/98 6:47:57 PM
Don Bage and Donna Mance
Response #18
By: Ralf
Date: 1/17/98 10:36:07 AM
Hermes Maphrodite
Response #19
By: Zane T. Dark
Date: 1/17/98 2:11:16 PM
Fellatio Valenzuela
(my name in a former life, I'm sure of it..)
Response #20
By: Jay
Date: 1/19/98 11:48:16 AM
Gutrung Furrberger
Response #21
By: Cleotis
Date: 1/19/98 1:12:53 PM
Phil Atwatt
Response #22
By: Ralf
Date: 1/21/98 10:01:11 AM
Igor Tuspurt
Response #23
By: Jay
Date: 1/21/98 10:37:06 AM
Foghorn Leghorn
Response #24
By: Zane T. Dark
Date: 1/22/98 12:51:44 AM
Ilene Intuit
Response #25
By: Jay
Date: 1/22/98 10:44:40 AM
Rosie L'mour
Response #26
By: Ralf
Date: 1/22/98 4:46:15 PM
Gowan Downonit
Response #27
By: Roxanne
Date: 1/22/98 5:51:58 PM
Buster Hyman
(hey, works in this message sub too!)
Response #28
By: Ralf
Date: 1/23/98 4:18:26 PM
P. Enis Stroker
Response #29
By: Tess Trueheart
Date: 1/24/98 9:51:23 AM
Ooopps.. I just got paged..
Response #30
By: Zane T. Dark
Date: 1/24/98 2:44:08 PM
"Tess Trueheart to the white courtesy phone..."
Response #31
By: Ralf
Date: 1/24/98 4:59:46 PM
The voice at the other end was breathless with desire.
"What long distance service are you currently using?"
Response #32
By: Lao Tzu
Date: 1/28/98 2:04:16 AM
Male: Rod Hardman
Female: VIRGINia Young
Gay:Dickey Love
Lesbian: Lezlie Lapp
Response #33
By: Da Sissop
Date: 1/28/98 10:29:49 AM
Welcome, Lao!
Rep. Dick Armey
Response #34
By: Zane T. Dark
Date: 1/28/98 2:22:45 PM
Sen. Skippy Foreskin
Response #35
By: Jay
Date: 1/29/98 11:47:08 AM
Candi Maraccas
Response #36
By: Da Sissop
Date: 1/29/98 11:57:30 AM
Gordon Showers
Response #37
By: sooz
Date: 1/29/98 7:34:46 PM
Amanda Huginkiss (thanks, Bart)
Response #38
By: Zane T. Dark
Date: 1/30/98 5:26:14 AM
Hugh Grunt
Response #39
By: Ralf
Date: 1/31/98 10:00:41 PM
Winnie the Pooh
Response #40
By: rorschach
Date: 2/2/98 8:15:12 AM
pooh on my shoe!
Response #41
By: Jay
Date: 2/2/98 12:02:30 PM
Stickee Vicki
Response #42
By: Zane T. Dark
Date: 2/17/98 11:28:19 AM
Rod Canion (may he rest in peace)
Response #43
By: rorschach
Date: 2/17/98 5:01:25 PM
when did he die?
Response #44
By: Zane T. Dark
Date: 2/18/98 5:25:43 AM
He didn't...but he does need the rest.
Response #45
By: Jay
Date: 2/18/98 11:14:53 AM
Candi Lipshitz
Response #46
By: Zane T. Dark
Date: 2/18/98 8:00:36 PM
Actually, Jerry Springer would be a good porn name.
Response #47
By: grin
Date: 2/19/98 3:52:28 PM
Grin
Response #48
By: Ralf
Date: 2/19/98 6:21:23 PM
And Bare It.
Response #49
By: Zane T. Dark
Date: 2/20/98 7:37:43 AM
Hmmm, come to think of it...Peter Sellers would make a good one too....so would Kevin Bacon..this is weird.
Response #50
By: rorschach
Date: 2/20/98 8:19:16 AM
now you know how they got their start......
Response #51
By: Cleotis
Date: 2/22/98 12:08:30 PM
John Tush
Response #52
By: rorschach
Date: 2/22/98 5:16:29 PM
I think that one may be taken....
Response #53
By: Jay
Date: 2/23/98 11:18:29 AM
Mr Tubthumper
Response #54
By: Mycroft
Date: 2/23/98 11:40:01 AM
Max Crotchroom?
E. Causer?
Had to find a way to bring up the subject of porn/sci-fi crossover.
Response #55
By: Ralf
Date: 2/23/98 6:38:16 PM
Flesh Gorton
(Naked old guy in a yellow rain slicker, who saves the universe with fishsticks.)
Response #56
By: Zipperhead
Date: 2/24/98 12:13:03 PM
Buster Butt.
Response #57
By: Jay
Date: 2/24/98 1:18:10 PM
Rolly Fingers
Response #58
By: Ralf
Date: 2/24/98 5:52:32 PM
Jerry "The Beaver" Mathers
Response #59
By: Jay
Date: 2/25/98 10:02:24 AM
Jerry Bonerz
Response #60
By: Hijinx
Date: 3/5/98 6:04:44 PM
Millard Fillmore...we all know he was more than a Great Leader...
he was great right? I'm too young to know for sure...Ok, let's faace it...
I suck...
oh, what about Isaac Gourleys...
no, huh...well, I'll just keep on suckin...
MAN, that sounds bad...
maybe I'll just shut up now
Response #61
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 3/6/98 2:25:40 AM
Hijinx, you suffer from what we Doctors call 'low self-esteem.'
I recommend you shatter your own illusions, drink plenty of liquids, and call me in the morning.
Response #62
By: Cleotis
Date: 3/6/98 12:52:03 PM
...and quit whackin' off in the toolshed!
Response #63
By: Hijinx
Date: 3/6/98 5:42:29 PM
I don't have a toolshed...but you're probably right about the spanking
Response #64
By: Ralf
Date: 3/6/98 6:14:20 PM
How does one shatter one's own illusions?
Response #65
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 3/6/98 9:07:07 PM
Through a simple sacredcowectomy, Ralf!
Response #66
By: rorschach
Date: 3/7/98 6:25:25 AM
but then you got the animal rights people on your case!
Response #67
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 3/7/98 5:53:09 PM
Oh, but I have the Stun Gun of Science in my arsenal!
Response #68
By: Ralf
Date: 3/7/98 8:17:09 PM
(Bill Nye RULES!)
If I gore my own ox, does that count?
Seriously, is "shattering one's own illusions" just having your mind blown?
Response #69
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 3/8/98 7:01:56 AM
Well, blowing your mind can be fun and instructive... But... Whatever works.
Feeling a little down on yourself, Ralf?
Response #70
By: Ralf
Date: 3/12/98 12:31:46 PM
No, why? I've got an ego the size of a planet.
I can move solar systems with a thought.
But dammit, why bother? I think I'll watch TV instead.
Response #71
By: Zane T. Dark
Date: 3/13/98 9:01:08 AM
Me too...trying to move Uranus always makes my nose bleed.