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By: Ralf
Date: 8/4/99 9:06:55 PM
# Replies: 40
Woo hoo! For $115 (including shipping) I just turned my $3000 computer into a color TV! Thanks to an ATI All-In-Wonder PRO AGP video card. Check these spex:
- Cable-ready TV tuner
- A bazillion input jacks so you can get video off a VHS camera, DVD, VCR, Playstation, Betamax, or what-have-U
- A bazillion output jacks so you can spray digitized video onto VHS tape or whatever
- Video/still capture software so you can Pyrate video signals into AVI or MPEG files. (It takes about 4GB to save 30 minutes of streaming video at 640x480.)
- A waycool "turn your Windows desktop into a live TV feed" feature, that's bitchin for about 30 seconds until you try and find an icon you need...
- 3D graphics accelleration that's at LEAST 2x what my old Monster 3Dfx card did (the All-In-Wonder comes with 8M of RAM)
- 2D accelleration that's... well, certainly no slower than my crappy old Diamond 4000 card...
- A butt-load of integrated tweakazoid tools die-hard control freaks dig to take ULTIMATE control of every damn pixel, if you want.
- Four CD's full of crappy games I will never play, but are included to !!11!!ADD XXTRAA VALYUE!!!1!!
Only $104 at Buy.com, while supplies last. Very nice deal.
(Next: my $48 SoundBlaster Live card... when it gets here...)
Response #1
By: Ralf
Date: 8/4/99 9:09:04 PM
Oh, and because I have a cablemodem, I just stuck a splitter in there and now I have cable-TV on my desktop. I'm watching commercials on cable EVEN AS I TYPE!
Response #2
By: Gowan McGland
Date: 8/4/99 10:09:17 PM
I wonder how the ATI card measures up against my Diamond Viper 550.
Response #3
By: Jerichos Burlap
Date: 8/5/99 6:17:56 AM
And where do you install the wetware jack?
Response #4
By: Ralf
Date: 8/5/99 6:10:03 PM
Gowan: as far as graphics accelleration, eh. It's not as fast as the current crop of 3D cards, but frankly, it's fast enough for me.
Burlap: The old-style cards plugged in at the base of the skull; this one has a nice velcro-closure wrap-around neck collar instead.
Response #5
By: Jerichos Burlap
Date: 8/6/99 5:09:48 AM
As long as it doesn't interfere with the sholder rig...
Response #6
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 8/7/99 1:06:46 AM
That's great, Ralf. You can get programmed, while you're programming!
Response #7
By: Ralf
Date: 8/8/99 12:00:21 PM
Except for the annoying 85hz vertical-retrace hum in my head, it's kinda cool!
Response #8
By: Ralf
Date: 8/10/99 7:55:43 AM
Update: the new Soundblaster Live soundcard has not arrived.
I called the place I ordered it from, M-something Micro in North Carolina. With great fanfare and a really snide attitude they informed me there was a problem with my credit card.
???
[Through the clever use of silence I conveyed shock and disbelief.]
The orderdesk guy (whose name was 'Eager', I swear to god) bruskly puts me on hold: "I'll get the credit manager."
"'Credit manager?' For a $45 part?" I blurt out but it's too late.. I'm on hold, listening to North Carolina FM radio.
Dummmmm dee dum... on hold for, oh, four maybe five minutes. No sweat since it's their 800 line. La deee daaa.... surf the web... glance at watch... [yawn]
The next voice I hear is a badly recorded Slavic non-native-english speaker, obviously fumbling around with her voice-mail outgoing message recorder. "...um, eyeyem out of office just now, boot can leaf mezzaj efter toan. Bye!" I hear the bleep, and instinctively I record, "Natasha, moose and squirrel heff bin sighted een Frostbite Falls!" and hang up.
I'm pretty pissed. I hit redial, wend my way thru the menu system, and end up speaking to a DIFFERENT orderguy. This one (Mark) seems to have more on the ball. We establish some groundrules:
#1. Mark, you will not forward me to anyone's voicemail box, nor place me on hold at any time.
He laughs (in a good-natured way) and drawls, "well Mr.Ralf, you seem to have a problem with your credit card. Just a sec; I really will be right back." and promptly breaks rule #1, but for some reason his jovial manner and honest professionalism soothe me into complacency. Perhaps I just want to believe. In any case, the pause is brief and the FM radio station not quite so annoying.
"Here we go," he says after the commercial break. "There's all SORTS of stuff written on your order. Lessee..."
It all boils down to this: the name on my order does not match the name on the credit card.
Order: Ralf Peterson
CCard: Ralf E. Peterson
My reaction is barely contained. You guys held up my order for almost a week because of my MIDDLE NAME? You coulda called!
We quickly learn that my phone number as recorded on the order-- both phone numbers -- are wrong. Whomever took the order was having a Valium day, apparently. Because of the 'fraudulent nature' of my credit card, and the two (2!) wrong phone numbers, the credit manager (a woman from an ex-soviet sattellite country) flipped out and stopped the order. Interstate credit card fraud is apparently a Big Deal for these people in NC.
"Well then, what are we to do about this?", I ask Mark. He says with the new, improved information AND if the card is approved they can ship it that day.
I say, "but I expected to have the thing days ago -- can you guys do overnight?"
Mark sez, "just a sec" and comes back with: "Yes, but you'll have to pay for it. With overnight delivery it'd be $81."
You're kidding, sez me. $36 shipping for a $45 part? I can anticipate that there's no way you guys will pay for it, niether? You're a small company and your margins are pretty slim, right? I'm afraid my voice is getting rather shrill by this point.
Mark laughs ironically and agrees. He sounds kind of sad.
All of a sudden, the frustration and anger flows away. I sympathize with Mark and his crummy job and the situation he's in. Instead of taking my shit out on him, I lower my voice. "Mark," I whisper.
"Yes?"
Quieter: "Mark."
"...yes?"
"Get the hell out of there while you can. No company can continue to function with bullshit like what you have going on. Y'all have spent hundreds of dollars preventing the fradulent loss of $45, of which maybe $9 is profit. Your employer is doomed. I'm surprised they made it this long. Leave now. Quit your job TODAY. Don't bother to hang up the phone; just go -- I'll understand."
"You know," he whispers back, "I start school next week. I'm kinda looking forward to it."
"Excellent. Mark, cancel my order. Have a good school year."
"Thanks, man."
I hang up, zip over to buy.com and within five minutes have placed an order for a Soundblaster Live card, for only $6 more than what M-whatever was charging. They use the credit card I have on file, and the order goes thru instantly.
I'm expecting the thing to arrive today... we'll see.
Response #9
By: Da Sissop
Date: 8/10/99 3:49:32 PM
So? Has it arrived?
Response #10
By: Gowan McGland
Date: 8/10/99 3:50:00 PM
Didja get the value edition or the regular edition?
If you got value, I'd try and call and cancel my order, d00d.
It works great, but the lack of output ports puts a damper on my fun. You have speaker front and speaker back. There is no headphone jack. So, you can have speakers OR headphones. Not both.
Hope I'm not too late or that you will not be bothered by this news.
Over and out.
Response #11
By: Ralf
Date: 8/10/99 8:20:01 PM
No it hasn't come. Grumble.
And yes, it's a Value edition.
But: it's replacing a crappy old SB16. It's GOTTA be better than the 16-bit, non-PNP, no-wavetable turd that's stinking up my motherboard now.
Response #12
By: Da Sissop
Date: 8/10/99 8:28:04 PM
How about now? Has it arrived now?
Response #13
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 8/11/99 3:52:23 AM
DAMMIT MAN! DON'T KEEP US IN SUSPENSE!
Response #14
By: sooz
Date: 8/11/99 11:12:20 AM
Surely it's arrived by NOW.
Response #15
By: Jerichos Burlap
Date: 8/11/99 3:12:44 PM
Too busy playing with the thing to give us a vicarious thrill. That's it, isn't it?
Response #16
By: Gowan McGland
Date: 8/11/99 7:17:38 PM
No, see, the SOUND is excellent. It's the lack of OPTIONS.
I'm sure he's happily listening to the environmental sound in Half-Life as we type.
Response #17
By: Da Sissop
Date: 8/11/99 7:54:13 PM
I dunno if this is worth mentioning, but just now, as I was Reading New, I saw Ralf's original message, and one of the features appeared to me as:
- Cable-ready TV dinner
Response #18
By: Ralf
Date: 8/12/99 7:42:07 AM
Bastard. Quit editing my messages.
And. No. It. Has. Not. Arrived.
Guess I'll go unearth the tracking number and see which UPS driver to stalk and kill...
Response #19
By: Roxanne
Date: 8/12/99 8:37:50 AM
Cable TV Dinners are passe.
The hottest trend is now Satellite Covered Dish Dinners!
Response #20
By: Ralf
Date: 8/14/99 10:28:12 AM
It's here! It's here! Christmas in August! Wooo!
Installed without a hitch. Beeyutiful sound. I'm now stalking a set of back-channel speakers and wondering how to wire the Batcave for 'em.
Anone know who makes cheap cordless sattellite speakers?
Response #21
By: Roxanne
Date: 8/15/99 6:40:11 PM
Christmas in August, indeed. Wal-Mart is already putting up their Back-to-School-Halloween-Christmas displays...
Let's just make every damn day of the year Christmas and be done with it!
Response #22
By: Jerichos Burlap
Date: 8/16/99 4:56:35 AM
I'm kinda warming up to the "Christmas from China" trend that seems to be emerging at Walmart.
Response #23
By: Ralf
Date: 8/16/99 11:11:47 AM
That thrumming sound?
Sam Walton spinning in his grave.
Response #24
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 8/17/99 4:27:19 AM
Ahh. What a nice thrumming sound.
Speaking of the Iowa caucases... Mr. Buchanan and I actually agree on China. I really MUST be a freak. (We both prefer Royal Doulton to Mikasa.)
Response #25
By: Jerichos Burlap
Date: 8/17/99 6:28:00 AM
The China Delegation really should put up some kind of memorial thing at Sam Walton's grave. "To really true friend", or something. After all, Walmart has to be the largest marketing outlet for Chinese goods in the Western world (all "We're creatin' American jobs"- hype notwithstanding).
Response #26
By: Roxanne
Date: 8/17/99 10:29:16 AM
Sure, Wal-Mart creates American jobs...thanks to them, old people have something to do!
"Hi, welcome to Wal-Mart...hi, how are ya? Welcome to Wal-Mart...In this day and age, there's no better place to work than Wal-Mart...hi, welcome to Wal-mart..."
Response #27
By: Ralf
Date: 8/17/99 5:16:51 PM
In. This. Day. And. Age.
I think I'm gonna scream.
Response #28
By: Gowan McGland
Date: 8/18/99 11:34:02 PM
I dono't shop at Wal-Mart much.
What's with the Christmas from China thing?
Response #29
By: Jerichos Burlap
Date: 8/19/99 1:48:36 AM
It's the fact that you can't find an aisle in Walmart (perhaps excepting the food ones - then insert Mexico) that doesn't have Made in China as the most-prefered supplier.
Actually, I'm not at all anti-imports. I buy Value, wherever it comes from. I'm just ragging on Walmart for their bullshit about "Saving American jobs". Example: "We created 17 additional jobs in [somehere in TN] by stocking these measuring cups. We support American business whenever we can." Dolt feed, of course.
Response #30
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 8/19/99 2:04:49 AM
Wal-Mart supports American buisness, by supporting THEMSELVES. They help a significant chunk of the GNP happen because they ARE a significant chunk of the GNP, if ya get my drift.
Ever driven across the midwest? There are hundreds of little ghost towns whose economies were sucked dry by Wal-Mart's volume pricing. And when no one in the town could afford to buy at Wal-Mart (since they'd lost their own small buisness BECAUSE of Wal-Mart), Wal-Mart hauled ass out of there.
Don't get me started... Oh wait. Too late.
Response #31
By: Ralf
Date: 8/19/99 9:08:58 AM
To me, the ultimate irony is that they used to promote "MADE IN AMERICA". Used to be their policy was not to sell anything not made in the good old USA, and if Sam discovered a WalMart buyer had bought something from overseas, he'd fire the sumbitch!
All thru the 80's and into the early 90's it was like that. Until Sam died, at which point Purchasing got drunk and WalMart became an unholy union of Target & Pier1.
I always thought it was sad how Sam Walton fought against the one-world economy, pandering to the confused/angry folks of middle america. And even sadder that americans lapped it up. And sadder yet that he got filthy rich from it and is hailed as a true american icon.
Homer: about those little towns that WalMart destroyed... the people didn't die, they just moved away. Chances are a lot of them are living in suburbia, having Dominoes pizzas delivered and enjoying movies from BlockBuster. Expending energy in angst over this is kinda pointless -- the era of small quaint towns is past, to be superceded by gleaming suburbia or Disneyfied feaux-Mayberry gated communities.
As Jesus once said, "Get over it."
Response #32
By: sooz
Date: 8/19/99 11:36:51 AM
If we all live in suburbia, who's gonna farm, and who's gonna have craft shows?
Response #33
By: Shadow Sprite
Date: 8/19/99 2:15:37 PM
Farm? I thought by now we'd be cloning our meat and growing our chemically enhanced vegetables in vats & greenhouses. C'mon, government, it's 1999! Where's the flying cars? Where's the people living on the moon? And most importantly, where's my dinner?
Response #34
By: Jerichos Burlap
Date: 8/20/99 1:36:34 AM
Farming ??? What a quaint idea. In this Day and Age, it's crop management and resource allocations. That shiney laptop in the air-conditioned tractor cab; mega-corporations drawing govt. subsidies and FFA classes on leveraging you assets. Sorry, I can't even type much more of this. [Disgruntled old coot kicks the dog.]
Response #35
By: Shadow Sprite
Date: 8/20/99 7:44:04 AM
That's still not vat-grown food. Oh, sure, those farmers are comfortable, and have better than monosyllabic vocabularies now, but I'd rather have processed faux-food, if only to feel like I'm in the future!
Response #36
By: Gowan McGland
Date: 8/20/99 8:51:56 AM
Soylent Green is PEOPLE!
Response #37
By: sooz
Date: 8/20/99 9:14:26 AM
I just spent a week driving through the midwest. We still have farms. Gimme a break, ya whiny cynics.
Response #38
By: Ralf
Date: 8/20/99 10:23:07 AM
Are you SURE they're farms, and not just a clever facade?
Response #39
By: Jerichos Burlap
Date: 8/20/99 3:03:33 PM
I'm beginnig to wonder if the Midwest is actually REAL. Some of the folks I pass sure do look like props.
Response #40
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 8/21/99 10:31:26 AM
I've met a few real honest-to-goodness farmers. Of course, they're farming a real cash crop, if you know what I mean...