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By: Ralf
Date: 4/18/00 6:35:36 AM
# Replies: 148
Everyone's heard the hackneyed phrase, "If I had a nickel for every time <blank>". Assume for the moment that via magical means you really DID receive a nickel every time <blank> happened. Suddenly, you're up to your ass in nickels.
#1. It's not worth it. The overhead of counting, bagging, and exchanging the damn things would eat up any inherent profit from the nickels.
#2. It's so totally worth it. <blank> happens all the time to me, so often in fact, that I could afford to hire a guy to follow me around with a shovel and wheelbarrow to deal with the windfall.
Rules:
No speculation please on what <blank> actually is. Assume it's something mildly annoying that happens a lot. Bonus points for those who question the trustworthiness of anyone who would follow you around with a shovel.
Response #1
By: Gowan McGland
Date: 4/18/00 7:59:06 AM
Definitely number two.
You could make a whole cottage industry in nickel-counting. Also, you'd completely corner the market on nickels. They'd become more scare than hen's teeth and then their value would go up and they'd be worth even more than five cents. So, you'd be even more wealthy.
Sure, good help if hard to find, but if you give him a cut and keep him happy, you shouldn't have to worry about embezzlement. Also, remember, TRUST but VERIFY.
Response #2
By: sooz
Date: 4/18/00 8:49:41 AM
Certainly not, my good man. No nickels for me.
Nickels are cumbersome, smell funny and are generally a pain in the ass. George Washington himself doesn't even look good on the damned things.
Suppose... you're on a date with Ms. Hot Stuff, and blank happens. Boom, out drops a nickel, just as you're staring into each other's eyes. How distracting!
You're in church. Blank happens, and includes half the congregation. Nickels everywhere. The ushers run about, think your beneveloence is a lovely thing. Then they expect you to do that EVERY week.
In addition to the guy with the shovel, there'd also be a guy from the Tax Assessor's office, a homeless guy and 3 people from The Star. Who needs all that activity near your backside, anyway?
I don't want nickels, not for me. I don't need nickels, nosiree.
Response #3
By: Da Sissop
Date: 4/18/00 5:59:59 PM
If you had a nickel for every time you got a nickel, would that create some sort of destabilizing feedback loop?
Response #4
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 4/19/00 2:10:21 AM
If BLANK happens frequently enough in one's life that one has to consider the consequences of excess nickle ownership, then it probably happens pretty frequently in everyone else's life, too. Thus, not only would the world be full of the suffering of BLANK, but also the suffering of wading through an ocean of nickles.
It's not worth it.
Response #5
By: rorschach
Date: 4/19/00 10:22:57 AM
NICKLES! GIMME NICKLES!
(greed is good.....
why would I care if the guy with the shovel is skimming? it happens so damned often that i would never run out of nickles anyway. as long as they keep coming faster than I can use em up. he can have all he wants.....
Response #6
By: Roxanne
Date: 4/19/00 1:32:16 PM
I would take the nickels provided there is a cost-of-living increase each year up to the point where *dollars* drop every time BLANK happens. That would definitely be worth it!
Of course, for now, I would get my step-kids to collect the nickels. Hey, what's the fun in being a wicked step-mother if you can't make the little brats do menial tasks now and then?
Disclaimer: My steps are not little brats; they are very sweet and wonderful children. And I bet they taste like chicken....
Response #7
By: Zane T. Dark
Date: 4/28/00 10:14:34 PM
I'll have to go with the nickles:
1)Yer bound to get some collectable ones if *blank* happens often enough. You know, ones with the upside-down buffalo or something.
2) If *blank* is rare and just something that happens to you, they could be bagged and resold as commemorative items.
3) You could turn it into a festive holiday occasion and tell all your younger relatives at any specific gathering that every time a nickle drops on the floor, an angel gets their wings.
4) It could be crafted into a much more lucrative money-making scheme, particularly in a bar-type situation. "Thirty bucks says that if *blank* I'll find a nickle on the ground"
Response #8
By: Seventh of Seven
Date: 4/29/00 3:17:27 PM
i think it's totally worth it, particularly if the phrase was,
if i had a nickel for everytime i had to count a nickel...
Response #9
By: Ralf
Date: 4/30/00 2:51:46 AM
Now, now... that's like wishing the Genie for more wishes. You'll violate some universal recursion law.
Response #10
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 4/30/00 10:53:06 AM
And what happens when you don't *have* to pick up the nickels?
Response #11
By: Zane T. Dark
Date: 4/30/00 9:55:17 PM
Well I suppose you never really HAVE to at all. As a matter of fact, the question was...
If I *had* a nickle for every time [blank]...
...does that mean it appears in your bank account, on your person, in your washer with the other loose change, or just drops into existance at your feet...kinda scary when you think about it, particularly if you consider what [blank] could be. You know, your on a first date, talking about whatever, and the girl takes some gum out of her mouth and sticks it under the table, just then, a nickle falls 'ploik!' into your margarita.
Response #12
By: WitchHazel
Date: 9/6/01 8:30:16 AM
If it was direct-deposited, then definitely #2.
--Haze
Response #13
By: Da Sissop
Date: 9/6/01 5:05:39 PM
Nah, it's not worth it. Think of it, *every* time you went to dinner with a group, they'd expect you to pay because, hey, you're the one with all the free money.
And nothing pisses off a waiter more than paying your tab with nickels. Trust me on this.
Response #14
By: WitchHazel
Date: 9/6/01 10:38:48 PM
So what if it pisses them off! Money is MONEY. Nickels or no nickels, I won't turn down money if it falls from the sky. And if I get a nickel for every time I say "duuuude", then I'm gonna keep sayin' it, right? Duuude.
--Haze
Response #15
By: rorschach
Date: 9/7/01 6:37:13 PM
definitely worth it... hell I piss people off just by existing, payin em in nickels is just icing on the cake. and if the joker with the shovel ain't trustworthy, hell at least I got enough money to get him snuffed! who needs trust when you have fear workin for you? eventually i'd have enough money to buy microsoft and force 'Ol Bill into indentured servitude.... (Hey Bill you worthless shit! Get in here and wipe my ass for me before I decide to start charging you for the air you breathe! and when you're done it's time to have the giant talking paperclip shoved up your ass again....)
Response #16
By: WitchHazel
Date: 9/8/01 11:51:56 AM
Hey Rorschach! Be nice! Bill is my BOSS. I can't exactly shove a paperclip up his ass when he signs my paychecks now, can I?
Sheeeesh. And I thought everybody LOVED Bill. You nuns sure are rebels, dissin' God and all! ;-) :-)
Response #17
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 9/8/01 3:54:36 PM
I know JUST THE PAPERCLIP!
Response #18
By: WitchHazel
Date: 9/10/01 6:58:23 AM
Ahem.
Response #19
By: bob
Date: 9/10/01 10:57:54 AM
ror: i have said it before and i hope to say it again, you are one funny guy.
as for my answer, it wouldn't work out for me....once i was getting the nickles, then the annoying thing that paid me (like getting my ear slammed int he car door, or whatever) would never happen, and i wouldn't get any nickles. then i would have a new problem, the guy following me around with the shovel would probably start hitting me in the back of the head with it, since there was nothing for him to do but smell my farts.
Response #20
By: rorschach
Date: 9/14/01 10:41:57 AM
start having really smelly farts and he'll either leave to avoid the stench or pass out from oxygen deprivation...... then you can take the shovel away from him and wack him on the head for a while... assuming YOU can stand the smell of your own farts.....
bill is nothing but a bully and a pirate, at least when I was ripping off code I was honest enough to SAY I was ripping off code.....he just renamed it from CP/M to DOS.... I find it funny that since pico-penis (read that as micro-shaft)lost the Sun/java lawsuit they ripped all support for java from thier browser and used SECURITY as the reason for doing so! there are more security holes in the current active-X code then there were in the ORIGINAL build of JAVA!
Response #21
By: WitchHazel
Date: 9/14/01 11:15:46 AM
Ahem. I am removing myself from this thread.
Response #22
By: Da Sissop
Date: 9/15/01 4:40:33 PM
Me, I like Microsoft. But I do sometimes worry about Bill Gates trying to take over the world.
Response #23
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 9/16/01 10:31:34 AM
Me, I think Microsoft is Just Another Big Company, even though... oh. Heh! Mac OS X's built-in spell-checker doesn't recognize 'Microsoft.' Comedy.
Response #24
By: sooz
Date: 9/16/01 1:37:22 PM
Me, I hope my company gets big some day. Then everyone can just assume I'm evil, without me having to prove it.
Response #25
By: WitchHazel
Date: 9/16/01 4:22:41 PM
I *am* evil and I'm not even BIG. That's why there's a "witch" in my name. :-)
Response #26
By: Capt. Spastic
Date: 9/16/01 6:52:54 PM
MS is just like any other big company. Once you get there, there's always a groups of elitest wannabe's that are going to think you're evil, and want to see you fall.
Response #27
By: Da Sissop
Date: 9/16/01 7:51:50 PM
The Roman Empire is just like any other big empire.
Response #28
By: sooz
Date: 9/17/01 8:13:03 AM
If you're elite, and with MS, are you really a wannabe?
Not every business person wants people to fail.
Response #29
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 9/17/01 8:54:16 PM
There's an important distinction between being *perceived* as evil, and actually *being* evil. I think Microsoft's main success is blurring that distinction. They do mean-spirited things, and criticisms of those mean-spirited things can be brushed off as jealousy of their success.
They also do good things, like Office:Mac 2001 and IE 5 Mac. The MS Mac Business Unit r00lz.
Response #30
By: WitchHazel
Date: 9/18/01 5:40:13 PM
We are really all just witches, casting spells on the consumer market, chanting, working by candle-light, coding Satanic verses into the programs, and sticking pins in discs. It's all harmless, really.
Response #31
By: sooz
Date: 9/19/01 5:22:21 AM
Well, as long as you're happy, GOOD computer witches...
Response #32
By: bob
Date: 9/19/01 11:00:03 AM
i am still mad at microsoft...they ruined dos.
Response #33
By: WitchHazel
Date: 9/19/01 5:30:32 PM
Well, THANK GOD somebody ruined it. DOS sucks! (Okay, I'm picking a fight here.) :-)
Response #34
By: Gowan McGland
Date: 9/19/01 9:39:13 PM
Oh yeah?!? Well Windows XP looks like Apple OS X!
Response #35
By: bob
Date: 9/20/01 12:33:39 PM
well, i have never likes mac os, either. so, go ahead and ruin that one.
witch: don't worry, i realize i am one of seven people on the whole planet that like dos.
Response #36
By: sooz
Date: 9/20/01 1:22:44 PM
I'm another one. I know DOS, and use it often, still.
Response #37
By: WitchHazel
Date: 9/20/01 2:13:37 PM
I still *use* it, but it doesn't mean I hafta LIKE it.
And Gowan, how do YOU know what XP looks like? It isn't on the market yet... ;-) (But *I* know -- neener, neener, neeeeeener!)
Response #38
By: Gowan McGland
Date: 9/20/01 3:18:57 PM
Because I'm a beta tester, THAT'S HOW.
Response #39
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 9/20/01 9:17:31 PM
I'm using Mac OS X at this very moment. And while I don't like DOS, I really really like tcsh. In fact, from time to time I enter >console as my user login, and just run my Mac in text mode, for irony's sake.
Response #40
By: WitchHazel
Date: 9/21/01 8:19:55 AM
I think we need to do an "intervention" on Homer here.
Response #41
By: bob
Date: 9/24/01 10:54:25 AM
nah, no intervention....i think we should let people live how they want to live. damn, a george micheal song just popped in my head....time to turn on the radio
Response #42
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 9/24/01 12:13:45 PM
I woke up to Barry Manilow this morning.
Now, if I'd woken up to some radio someplace playing Barry Manilow, it would have been one thing, but BARRY WAS IN MY HEAD. He was singing 'Even The Nights Are Better.' I have no idea why.
Thankfully he's gone now. Good riddance.
Response #43
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 9/24/01 10:35:06 PM
See? All you have to do in order to shock people into ending a thread is to say that Barry Manilow is in your head.
Response #44
By: Roxanne
Date: 9/25/01 10:56:28 AM
Better than Barry Manilow being in your *bed*!
Response #45
By: bob
Date: 9/25/01 4:07:49 PM
roxy: that is exactly what i was thinking
Response #46
By: Roxanne
Date: 9/26/01 4:00:18 PM
Cool! I'm a psychic!
Response #47
By: WitchHazel
Date: 9/27/01 10:29:18 AM
Yeah, I'd say Barry Manilow is a successful thread-destroyer. Don't do it again, Homer.
Response #48
By: sooz
Date: 9/27/01 10:32:48 AM
I had the albums by the following artists in the 70s: Barry Manilow, The Carpenters, John Denver, C.W. McCall, Neil Diamond and Olivia Newton John.
Response #49
By: WitchHazel
Date: 9/27/01 11:00:44 AM
Aaaaaiiiiiiieeeeeeee! And I had Andy Gibb and The Bee-Gees! (I'm STILL a disco freak. Disco is so NOT dead, people!) ;-)
Response #50
By: Roxanne
Date: 9/27/01 11:28:07 AM
sooz: You were a pre-teen in the 70's, so you can't be held responsible for your musical tastes at that age! :)
In the 70's, I had The Carpenters, Helen Reddy, Debby Boone, soundtrack to "Saturday Night Fever", and numerous disco LPs. (12-inch vinyl discs played on a contraption called a "turn-table")
Response #51
By: bob
Date: 9/27/01 11:49:02 AM
in the late seventies i didn't own any albums. and, by the selections listed above, i think i should be glad.
Response #52
By: sooz
Date: 9/27/01 12:38:25 PM
It's because you were just thinking about being born.
Response #53
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 9/27/01 5:39:07 PM
In the 70s, I only owned one LP: Chuck Mangione's 'Feels So Good.' I spent a lot of time listening to my sister's Styx albums, though. And my brother played BTO and Peter Frampton all the time, on the *8-track* player.
Response #54
By: Gowan McGland
Date: 9/27/01 11:06:29 PM
Susan left out all the BJ Thomas albums she owned.
I honestly don't remember what I had in the 70s. I'd guess some 8-tracks and a bunch of 45s and one of those portable record players.
Response #55
By: sooz
Date: 9/28/01 5:13:19 AM
Hey! I didn't own BJ Thomas records. I INTERVIEWED BJ Thomas in 1981, and he was a fine, gentalmanly fellow, but you still can't prove I owned anything by him!
Rabbit Trail: Jimmy was in a musical last weekend called "45s Forever." It was God-Awful. Anyway, a teacher stood in the lobby after the show, passing out real 45s. They had "Johnston High School Liberal Arts Acaddemy" labels stuck over whatever original label was on them. The things weren't in sleeves, so I'm sure the one we got it scratched to death. However, I still wonder what's on the thing. I told Jimmy it could be anything from Hendrix to Billy Graham.
I've gotta find a friend with a record player.
Response #56
By: WitchHazel
Date: 9/28/01 8:14:01 AM
Styx!! I forgot about them! I used to listen to "Pieces of Eight" over and over and over.
Dang! The last 45 I bought was probably like in 1982 or so. God, I feel OLD! Last year, I was cleaning out my storage, getting ready for a huge-ass garage sale. My younger brother took all of my "albums" (45s and all). I think he considers them "antiques" or something...
Response #57
By: bob
Date: 9/28/01 2:48:06 PM
actually, in the late seventies i had one of those record player/slide show boxes. i got to "watch" frog and toad stories. i was born in the early seventies, not the late seventies.
also, i have a record player, and i am a little curious what they passed out, too. maybe we can play it backwards, find some satanic drug references and sew the school. we could be rich.
Response #58
By: sooz
Date: 9/29/01 9:01:20 AM
You have a record player?? I had no idea. Let's listen to it later, and report back here.
Response #59
By: Da Sissop
Date: 9/30/01 4:40:30 PM
I had the "Multiplication Rock" soundtrack. I was COOL.
Response #60
By: bob
Date: 9/30/01 9:39:14 PM
sooz: yep, it is that big thing in the corner of the living room with the records next to it
Response #61
By: sooz
Date: 10/1/01 5:06:41 AM
OHHH! That phonograph looking thing! And how did you post at 9:39 p.m. -- weren't you at my house watching a movie? I'm so confused.
Response #62
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/1/01 7:57:15 AM
How DOES the time work in here? Whatever time YOUR computer says is the time that it posts in the Nunnery, or what? (Since we're all in different time zones, I was just wonderin'.)
Response #63
By: bob
Date: 10/1/01 10:18:37 AM
magic i guess
Response #64
By: Da Sissop
Date: 10/1/01 10:26:16 AM
It's Pacific time. The webhost is in Lompoc, Californy.
Response #65
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 10/1/01 12:05:42 PM
Hey, Hazel... When we go to Lacey, let's just take a brief side-trip to Lompoc and sacrifice a RAM stick to the nuns machine.
Response #66
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/1/01 2:04:51 PM
Hooorah for Pacific Time!
Yup. Sacrifice some nuns. Er, I mean, sacrifice FOR the Nuns. Yeah!
Response #67
By: Roxanne
Date: 10/2/01 2:32:18 PM
Multiplication Rock *still* rocks!
My wicked stepchildren are learning their times tables from it!
Response #68
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/3/01 12:18:17 PM
Damn. I never heard that one. I feel deprived. :-(
Response #69
By: rorschach
Date: 10/7/01 9:24:25 AM
hehe.. I can't tell you how many times in the last month or so I've been reminded how old I am compared with some of my co-workers.... there's a mexican guy who spilled a bunch of hydraulic oil out back of our building, his supervisor jokingly called him the "Victor Valdez"... the safty/enviromental girl (she's only 23) didn't understand the reference.....so we explained what the joke was about then we started talking about other more or less common knowledge things like Oliver North and Iran/Contra scandal... she had never head of then either....as we finally figured out she was still in short pants when all that happened... but it don't seem all that terribly long ago to me....
MAN I feel old....
Response #70
By: bob
Date: 10/7/01 11:17:26 AM
wait a second, i don't think that can all be accounted for by her age. i am only 26 and i know about all that stuff. granted, as sooz and i discovered the other day, i was in 5th grade when the challenger disaster occured....
Response #71
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/7/01 2:01:43 PM
Damn, you're still a baby, Bob.
Response #72
By: bob
Date: 10/8/01 1:07:24 AM
yep, i am 26 going on 108
Response #73
By: Seventh of Seven
Date: 10/8/01 3:27:37 AM
baby boy bob? no, if 26 is a baby, how old are YOU?
Response #74
By: Gowan McGland
Date: 10/8/01 8:01:53 AM
I'm 33.
Response #75
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/8/01 8:17:39 AM
I'm 35yo. 'An old lady' by any 26-year-old's standards.
Response #76
By: Seventh of Seven
Date: 10/8/01 10:49:45 AM
35 can still be sexy old lady in my book. you realize that when i'm 60 years old, you'll only be 69?
Response #77
By: bob
Date: 10/8/01 12:46:46 PM
i really don't think i fall into the catagory of "any 26 year old". actually, more than half of my frineds are 35 plus. ok, so that doesn't make a whole lot of people, but hell, it is hard to find people willing to hang out with me
Response #78
By: sooz
Date: 10/8/01 5:28:44 PM
I gotta vouch for Bob on this. He's the oldest 26 year old I've ever met... even older than Gowan, when he was 26.
Richie's 38 and I'm 37, and we're both about to have birthdays. We almost always forget that Bob's not the exact same age as us.
Response #79
By: Cleotis
Date: 10/8/01 6:26:49 PM
Oh, wow. We've all been around here a long time, haven't we?
When did it all start, exactly?
My first BBS experience, "Terminally Ill" was, what... 1984?
Damn. I'm gonna be 33 in a couple of weeks. I can still remember downloading "6485" on a 300 baud modem to a commodore floppy drive that always overheated at the end of a 3 hour download... It took driving to Deer Park to meet the sysop of "Subway X" to get my own BBS software.
Man, wouldn't it be great to have all of those old files and read those boards again?
Another trip down memory lane... Sorry for the relapse.
Response #80
By: Gowan McGland
Date: 10/8/01 9:05:44 PM
I have an archive of some of the old Nuns and Curiousity Shop stuff, I think.
Dial-up days...
Response #81
By: bob
Date: 10/8/01 10:33:38 PM
my first computer was a TI thing that pluged into the tv. all it was was basic. but i never had a modem until i was in college and i had a 9600.
Response #82
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/9/01 8:15:28 AM
I'm definitely a 'baby' in the online world.
Response #83
By: sooz
Date: 10/9/01 8:59:43 AM
Cleo, Terminally Ill was my BBS. Did you really start there? I thought you started on Ralf's Curiosity Shop or something. I'm not sure where we even met. I THINK I met Jim/Sissop at a "swap meet" (for the uninitiated, that didn't involve kinky sex -- it was where Commodore 64 users would go to copy each others discs/floppies/programs/warez), and you were at that. But I don't know if we'd all met before or not.
Response #84
By: Seventh of Seven
Date: 10/9/01 2:31:14 PM
i had a modem since i was 14 or so, but my first meetings with any of this group would be when i was 16, when i started going to craig's board, and ran up with tess and zane. (any word on what happened to him?) and then fierce pancake had something called...i don't remember. yellow pope jello was the eventual name though.
Response #85
By: rorschach
Date: 10/10/01 10:12:37 AM
I Dunno about the kinky part sooz, I distinctly remember a swap meet that we all were at (back prior to your divorce) where cleo/Brain Dead was looking longingly at a fold down black leather covered bed at one end of the motel room........ I think It was rumoured that he woke up on that very same bed the next day...... then of course there is this button right below here ordering me to "submit".....
Response #86
By: Roxanne
Date: 10/10/01 10:19:03 AM
Vindictable Edibles...wow...that has been a long time.
I have no eartly idea where Zane is. His email no workee and I get no reply when I leave messages on his voicemail.
(Good to see you, SoS! Smooches!)
Response #87
By: Seventh of Seven
Date: 10/10/01 11:02:51 AM
(hello my sweet librarian. where have you been?)
Response #88
By: sooz
Date: 10/10/01 11:44:29 AM
Yep, Ror, that's where you and I met, for sure!
I have a picture somewhere of Clo spread eagle up against that wall with the fold-out couch, with his wrists in the leather straps.
(For those that weren't there that day, 13-14 years ago... don't try visualizing this, please!)
Response #89
By: bob
Date: 10/10/01 3:27:18 PM
don't worry, cleo in leather does nothing for me
Response #90
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/10/01 5:32:00 PM
I dunno. "Spread eagle against the wall" and "wrists in leather straps" just BEGS for some visualization.
Response #91
By: Cleotis
Date: 10/10/01 6:20:29 PM
Yes, Sooz. You were my first.
BBS, I mean! (buncha pervs!)
That party was long, long after we had all known each other though. It was at the La Quinta on Southwest Freeway. I still can't pass that place without remembering the drunken night I spent there, passed out in the bed tucked into the wall. I distinctly remember meeting Super Honic that night, as well as singing my own rendition of REM's "The One I Love" at the top of my lungs in the parking lot. Oh, and I staggered over to the Denny's to get some solid food and Ronka was there.
Other than that, the evening was all a big blur.
The dumb things teenagers do. I tell ya.
I also recall that hideous picture. tsk tsk tsk...
Response #92
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/11/01 10:15:47 AM
You guys MUST post pictures, so I can stop "visualizing".
Response #93
By: bob
Date: 10/11/01 10:57:05 AM
i am just sitting here considering how lucky i am that i don't visualize things, no offense cleo
Response #94
By: sooz
Date: 10/11/01 11:14:32 AM
Frightening fact: I worked at that LaQuinta. It's where I met John Ray, who was working next door at Denny's at the time.
Ok, everyone, quit shuddering.
Response #95
By: Roxanne
Date: 10/11/01 1:13:05 PM
SoS: I'm in Bama going on four years now. Pitiful knowing looks accepted.
Response #96
By: sooz
Date: 10/11/01 7:04:55 PM
(sad, understanding nod)
Response #97
By: Seventh of Seven
Date: 10/12/01 4:48:13 AM
(sad, confused shake)
what's bama? you mean bahamas?
Response #98
By: rorschach
Date: 10/12/01 10:28:02 AM
no alabama.... not nearly as exciting as the bahamas....
Response #99
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/15/01 1:39:22 PM
Roxy, you poor thing. Did you move there ON PURPOSE?
Well, at least you don't live in Seattle where it rains all the time.
Response #100
By: Roxanne
Date: 10/16/01 3:01:31 PM
Witchy: Yes, I moved here of my own free will. Fortunately, I'm in north Alabama which is significantly culturally advanced when compared to the rest of the state.
Response #101
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/16/01 3:42:31 PM
Hey, there are even places in Washington that are completely non-cultural and seem to exist only so we can make "dumb hick" jokes.
Response #102
By: Roxanne
Date: 10/17/01 9:59:49 AM
I had a "dumb hick" droid check out my purchases at K-Mart yesterday. She saw the Halloween candy I was buying and commented, "There ain't no way I'm lettin' *my* kids go out this year! They are telling everybody to stay home and not even go to the mall or anything!"
Yeah, right, you double-wide debutante, Athens, Alabama is one of the prime target for terrorist attacks. This Halloween will be no more or less safe than any previous Halloween. But people are getting into full alert panic anyway.
Response #103
By: sooz
Date: 10/17/01 10:28:17 AM
(groan) She cares about her kids. She's "Life, doing the best it can."
Response #104
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/17/01 11:27:08 AM
I'm with Roxy on this one. Is the world supposed to STOP? In Germany, they ALMOST canceled Oktoberfest this year? WHY!?!? Because it's a large gathering of people? Are we never supposed to gather, eat, drink, and be merry anymore!?!?
I'm protesting. I'm going to dress up on Halloween and trick-or-treat with my nephews. In the dark even!!! Boo!
Response #105
By: sooz
Date: 10/17/01 7:47:20 PM
AMEN WITCH! (Can you "amen" a witch? I'm sure a Baptist is upset, even as I type this. Har har.)
I giggled out loud at the "Boo!". But yep, we're doing Halloween perzactly like it was meant to be... dress up if ya want, pass out candy, harass neighborhood children, the works.
Witch and Roxie, come on to Austin and join us!
Response #106
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/17/01 11:01:20 PM
Woo woo! I *wish*! (Someday I'll make it there!)
Response #107
By: bob
Date: 10/18/01 12:35:53 AM
maybe i will be a streaker at this years annual halloween extravaganza. and one of my tricks will be covering the camera lens, hahahaha
Response #108
By: sooz
Date: 10/18/01 8:00:26 AM
Bob can spell "extravaganza," but he can't spell "tennis shoe." I think he's covering up something...
Response #109
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/18/01 9:23:49 AM
This is a most disturbing discovery, Sooz. ;-)
Response #110
By: Roxanne
Date: 10/18/01 11:54:23 AM
I'm all in favor of parental responsibility; I just don't believe in ruining a kid's Halloween out of sheer ignorance.
We have our decorations up; lights, ghosts, action! We are going to have a great Halloween! Hell, after the kids go to bed, we might even dance naked in the moonlight!
Of course, as in all previous years, we will carefully scrutinize the kids' candy and eat all the pieces that look "suspicious"! :)
Response #111
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/18/01 12:27:43 PM
Halloween RULES!
Response #112
By: bob
Date: 10/18/01 2:17:58 PM
see, the e and the w are right next to each other on the keyboard, geez.
Response #113
By: sooz
Date: 10/18/01 4:37:34 PM
Wheeee! I wanna party at Roxy's!
We're not cancelling Halloweenie here, either. No way. A woman at work told me she informed her 10 year old daughter that she couldn't trick-or-treat this year, and the little girl cried for hours. I don't think I was clear up there (point)... I think hiding from Halloween TOTALLY lets the bad guys win. I even offered to let her daughter come to our house and trick-or-treat, as I know all the neighbors around here. I just didn't make fun of the mom, I guess is what I'm saying -- she loves her daughter and wants what's best for her, but I wouldn't go about it the way she is.
MEANwhile, we'll be partying in Bob's driveway (thus, moving the party from the garage forward about 15 feet). It's goofy, but it entertains us.
Response #114
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/18/01 5:06:37 PM
Be sure to have the camera pointing toward the driveway, so I can see Bob fully clothed that day. Oh, wait, he was going to be a streaker for Halloween. (Nevermind.)
Response #115
By: Gowan McGland
Date: 10/18/01 10:55:20 PM
All the local malls have cancelled their Halloween activities meaning that now the kids don't even have THAT "safe haven".
BAH!
Response #116
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/19/01 10:15:33 AM
*I* would want to be a trick-or-treater at Bob's house. What's the problem?
Response #117
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/19/01 10:27:26 AM
And Homer, you'll be happy to know that Barry Manilow tickets go on sale in Seattle today.
Response #118
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 10/20/01 1:59:04 AM
The other night I was watching 'Evening Magazine' on TV. For you non-Seattle-ites, 'Evening Magazine' is like the old 'P.M. Magazine' on channel 11 in Houston: a half-hour of human-interest stories glued together by the personalities of some hired spokesperson, designed to fill the space between the news and 'Wheel Of Fortune.' And John Curley, the personality of 'Evening Magazine,' is so totally Seattle, and so totally a dare to definitively say he's gay or not, as to almost rank as performance art. And this man, this queer-man-passing-as-a-straight-man-trying-to-pass-as-queer, was giving away Barry Manliow tickets. And they gave a number to call to win some.
And I thought to myself, "I'd never, ever want to pay money to see Barry Manilow, but as an anthropological excursion into the world of women who find him attractive, it could present an opportunity to exercise my latent misogyny." And then I thought to myself, "But wait! To be able to say I WON Barry Manilow tickets, Barry Manilow, the man who passes as a straight man trying to pass as queer... to win Barry Manilow tickets... FROM JOHN CURLEY!!??" So I went to the phone and started dialing with glee! And while I was dialing I thought to myself, "But wait... If I win, I'll have to actually go hear that man sing Copa Cabana."
So I hung up and watched Jepoardy.
Response #119
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/20/01 1:32:56 PM
I think you made the right decision, Homer. I just don't think you would have found a date to go to that one.
Response #120
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 10/20/01 3:21:27 PM
I would have taken an inflatable date.
Response #121
By: Roxanne
Date: 10/22/01 1:39:03 PM
Male or female inflate-a-date?
Response #122
By: bob
Date: 10/22/01 3:21:50 PM
hahahahhaahhaah, i personally like the "inflate-a-date" phrase, sounds so much classier than the usually blow-up doll
Response #123
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/22/01 4:58:45 PM
Now you can refer to your doll as your "date", Bob.
Response #124
By: sooz
Date: 10/23/01 7:59:31 AM
Truth be told, Bob currently has women coming outta the woodwork at him.
Response #125
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/23/01 9:09:17 AM
Well I would HOPE so, after all the ladies got a look at him mowing his lawn without pants.
Response #126
By: bob
Date: 10/23/01 9:30:59 AM
not to many people actually watch me mow the yard. i tend to do it in the middle of the night, i hate people staring, you know
Response #127
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/23/01 10:20:47 AM
That WOULD be rather annoying. I mean, how could you get any work done with ladies running up to you, demanding your autograph?
Response #128
By: bob
Date: 10/25/01 10:38:01 AM
as if they are asking for autographs, sheesh
Response #129
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/25/01 11:03:04 AM
Well, *I* would want you to autograph the polaroid picture I shot of you mowing.
Response #130
By: rorschach
Date: 10/26/01 11:04:04 AM
I know when I mow the grass, every unprotected inch of skin starts itching (I suspect I'm allergic to grass...). I do hope Bob isn't allergic.....
Response #131
By: bob
Date: 10/26/01 11:47:08 AM
ror: i swell. hahahaha
Response #132
By: sooz
Date: 10/26/01 2:51:39 PM
Great. Had a BAGEL in my mouth when I spewed THAT time.
Response #133
By: bob
Date: 10/26/01 2:55:19 PM
you know sooz, always has something in her mouth
Response #134
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/26/01 6:02:13 PM
And she's always spitting.
Response #135
By: sooz
Date: 10/27/01 3:03:59 PM
Never, ever spit.
Response #136
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/27/01 7:24:54 PM
It's not lady-like.
Response #137
By: sooz
Date: 10/27/01 7:45:57 PM
And everyone that knows me KNOWS I'm all about being lady-like. (Crosses legs in feminine fashion)
Response #138
By: bob
Date: 10/28/01 10:22:11 AM
yep, what a "lady"
Response #139
By: Cleotis
Date: 10/28/01 3:23:48 PM
Are we all talking about the same Sooz?
hehe
Response #140
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/29/01 8:05:16 AM
There are no ladies in the Nunnery. Only tomboys, dudes, and droids.
Response #141
By: Roxanne
Date: 10/29/01 2:07:32 PM
I've never even come close to being what one might consider a "lady". "Chick" is about as good as it gets for me. And now I'm too old even for that...
Response #142
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/29/01 2:26:09 PM
Old chicks rule.
Response #143
By: bob
Date: 10/29/01 3:34:49 PM
damn, so i have to choose between being a tomboy and a dude? they both have distinct disadvantages
Response #144
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/29/01 3:58:35 PM
What would you RATHER be? (You can always rebel.)
Response #145
By: bob
Date: 10/29/01 10:39:48 PM
if i had a nickel for everytime...
Response #146
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/30/01 1:03:18 PM
Looks like this thread made it full-circle.
Response #147
By: rorschach
Date: 10/30/01 1:22:03 PM
most nickels ARE round after all.....
Response #148
By: bob
Date: 10/31/01 9:44:07 AM
hahahah ror