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By: Ralf
Date: 4/21/00 6:24:53 AM
# Replies: 83
You find a satchel in your backyard. No ID. Nobody sees you.
The satchel is stuffed with money, a little over $350,000. There's also a gun and a plastic baggie filled with cocaine.
What do you do?
#1. Take it to the police.
#2. Keep the money, disassemble the gun, scatter the parts around the city, dispose of the coke. Burn the satchel. Use part of the money to move so nobody finds me.
Rules:
Assume the police will NEVER return the money to you, since it's obviously drug money and legally part of evidence. Assume also that whomever lost the satchel knows (roughly) where they stashed it, and will try to get it back. Anybody who writes this up as a screenplay for a TV movie must yadda yadda...
Response #1
By: Da Sissop
Date: 4/21/00 9:09:50 AM
#3. Keep the money, place my television out in the yard where the bag was stashed. Sit up 'round the clock, waiting for the hoodlum to return. Periodically snort cocaine to stay awake. When the hoodlum gets his fingerprints on the TV, I bust a cap in 'im, return the unused cocaine, and call the police.
Response #2
By: rorschach
Date: 4/21/00 10:22:07 AM
Keep most of the money, put it in a bahamainian bank, turn bag, gun, coke and a couple thou in cash into cops, anonymously tip the newspaper that a bag with a large amount of money (note actual amount not specified), gun and coke was found and where, legally change name and SSN (tell the SSA that somebody has been impersonating you and they will change your number if you insist, there ARE ways to track it but it's mildly difficult) move, leave no forwarding address. (cops may help with this if you can make a good enough case that the druggie will come looking for you with blood in his eye) problem solved..... the druggie thinks that the cops have the money and gun, he has no EASY way of finding you and probably would decide it ain't worth the effort, the money is safely out of the country earning interest, and the cops helped you disappear!
copyright 2000 Burton Production inc. yada yada....
Response #3
By: Roxanne
Date: 4/21/00 8:22:32 PM
D. Take the money out of the bag. Leave the coke and gun in the bag and toss it into the yard of a neighbor I hate.
Yes, I am evil. Yadda yadda...
Response #4
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 4/21/00 9:49:53 PM
The drug dealer will return whether you take the money or not.
Dig a hole. Bury the stuff. Wait a year.
Response #5
By: sooz
Date: 4/22/00 5:37:30 PM
Didn't they do that in Scott Smith's book, "A Simple Plan"?
Response #6
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 4/23/00 12:00:25 PM
I dunno, but do you think it's an accident that I've taken up gardening?
Response #7
By: Zane T. Dark
Date: 4/28/00 11:08:32 PM
Buy the biggest, meanest, mangiest dog I can find, leave about a grand in the bag, and let the dog chew up and piss on the rest. If questioned "Rufus had a bad spell a while back where he stayed up all night yowling and constipated, but I didn't think anything of it."
Response #8
By: WitchHazel
Date: 9/6/01 8:33:26 AM
I'd take the money and MOVE. Duh!
--Haze
Response #9
By: bob
Date: 9/10/01 11:06:19 AM
if i had a nickle for everytime drug money.....oh nevermind....i have no good answer for this one....350,000 is hardly worth moving for, i like my house, but if i go to the police, the dealer would probably come back before the police got them...so, damned if you do, damned if you don't.
Response #10
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 9/13/01 12:23:09 PM
Yeah, but would you hork or snork?
Response #11
By: Seventh of Seven
Date: 10/5/01 4:56:32 PM
if happiness is a warm gun, why do you need a dog or a penis?
Response #12
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/6/01 8:06:37 PM
Um... Right.
(What am I missing?)
Response #13
By: Seventh of Seven
Date: 10/7/01 9:30:43 AM
well, if you know where your dog is, and you know where you gun is, that means you're missing...
Response #14
By: bob
Date: 10/7/01 11:21:35 AM
andif you are missing it, that may mean someone has an extra
Response #15
By: Seventh of Seven
Date: 10/8/01 3:29:15 AM
going out of business sale! 2 for $1.99!
Response #16
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/8/01 8:18:44 AM
I'll take 'em both!
Response #17
By: Seventh of Seven
Date: 10/8/01 10:57:52 AM
no witch hazel, that's not legal unless you live in utah.
Response #18
By: bob
Date: 10/8/01 10:40:53 PM
i thought it was nevada where it was legal to buy sex
Response #19
By: Seventh of Seven
Date: 10/9/01 5:04:05 AM
oh, i was thinking in terms of polygamy.
Response #20
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/9/01 8:17:59 AM
It's legal in Utah? Kewl!
Somehow I think it'd be EXTRA-illegal for a WOMAN to have two, instead of a MAN having two. Maybe I'm wrong, but you don't see many women out there with two husbands.
I do know a guy with two wives, though. But obviously only one is his "legal" wife.
Response #21
By: sooz
Date: 10/9/01 9:03:57 AM
I can barely keep up with one husband. Why on earth would someone need TWO?
Response #22
By: bob
Date: 10/9/01 1:54:27 PM
apparently, i can't even keep up with one.....
Response #23
By: Seventh of Seven
Date: 10/9/01 2:34:42 PM
well, they're on sale sooz.
Response #24
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/9/01 5:49:37 PM
Besides being ON SALE, if you get tired of one, you can play with the other one. (You're never bored!)
Response #25
By: sooz
Date: 10/10/01 7:16:20 AM
But the HUSBANDS would get bored, see, while you're playing with the others, and wander off. I hate when husbands become strays. You have to go around the neighborhood, whistling and calling their name...
Response #26
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/10/01 8:37:42 AM
Eventually they get hungry and come back. That's when you switch #1 with #2. (Or so I'm guessing.)
Response #27
By: rorschach
Date: 10/10/01 10:19:09 AM
yes, but you have to make sure they've had thier shots or they'll come back infected.....
Response #28
By: Seventh of Seven
Date: 10/10/01 11:04:44 AM
i'm sorry, why are we talking about husbands? I thought we were talking about penises! those never get hungry.
Response #29
By: sooz
Date: 10/10/01 11:46:04 AM
I don't cook. It's a wonder I can keep a man (one that cooks well, even) around.
Response #30
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/10/01 5:36:22 PM
SoS, do NOT tell me your penis doesn't have an appetite. I simply won't believe you.
Sooz, it's not the food I'm talking about. And I don't think you have problem providing THAT kind of nourishment.
Response #31
By: Seventh of Seven
Date: 10/11/01 7:45:12 AM
how do YOU know? HMMM??
Response #32
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/11/01 10:16:13 AM
Oh shoot. You caught me. Sooz and I go WAY back.
Response #33
By: sooz
Date: 10/11/01 11:16:10 AM
Witch and I go so far back, we went to different schools together.
Witch: You're assuming that men want sex worse than women do. Tsk, tsk.
Response #34
By: rorschach
Date: 10/11/01 1:04:44 PM
I dunno about "worse" so much as generally "MORE"..... I know it must be a sterotype but I still think it is true, some women dont EVER want it, some just "lie there" until it's over and eschew any attempt at fore(four?)play.... whereas i challenge you to find a guy who'd rather "be held".... while I admit there is a wide range of "appetites", if you average them all up, I think I'd be right.
Response #35
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/11/01 1:14:58 PM
Sooz, you're wrong. I was implying that, as a women, TWO would be fun. Does that sound like it favors the MAN? ;-)
But, in all reality, I must agree that the "norm" is how Ror* described it. Or am I wrong here? At least that's how it is, according to the people *I* know, who share their sexual experiences/views.
Response #36
By: sooz
Date: 10/11/01 7:05:15 PM
Dammit. Why do I manage to find men that aren't the "norm"? Richie would much rather hold and hug and kiss than do the "deed."
And I have no doubt Bob will voice an opinion on this subject.
Response #37
By: Gowan McGland
Date: 10/11/01 9:15:36 PM
I like it all. I'll take what I can get.
The women I've known (*KNOWN*) were a lot more interested in the emotional end than the physical end. Of course, it could have been ME.
(sobbawl)
Response #38
By: sooz
Date: 10/12/01 4:52:18 AM
Apparently, I'm a guy, and I've tended to be involved with lovely women.
Response #39
By: rorschach
Date: 10/12/01 10:28:50 AM
I've always had my suspicions.....PFFFT!
Response #40
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/12/01 11:09:35 AM
Well, *I* am a guy (emotionally) but a girl (physically). So, how's THAT for kinky!?!?
Response #41
By: bob
Date: 10/12/01 2:17:10 PM
me, an opinion on this? why would you bet that?
Response #42
By: Roxanne
Date: 10/14/01 9:44:42 PM
Me too, Witchy-poo! Does that make us lesbians?
I am emotionally more like a guy and definitely a girl in the physical realm.
Fore-play is tedious.
Response #43
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 10/15/01 3:21:45 AM
Gender stereotypes are crap. People are beautiful, wonderful, amazing, and generally good to go.
Response #44
By: sooz
Date: 10/15/01 3:40:35 AM
(unless they're minimum wage droids)
Response #45
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/15/01 8:05:50 AM
Okay, Sooz, it's illegal to bring one thread to another! :-)
I agree with Homer. People are beautiful, whether male, female, or droid.
Response #46
By: bob
Date: 10/15/01 12:34:22 PM
illegal, there are rules here?
Response #47
By: Roxanne
Date: 10/15/01 1:11:11 PM
Rules are made to be broken!
So are droids!
Response #48
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/15/01 1:17:46 PM
Pretty soon we're going to start entering new topics under the wrong headings. That's when I'm gonna hafta put my foot down.
Response #49
By: sooz
Date: 10/15/01 3:05:53 PM
Just don't put it down on a BK Whopper.
Response #50
By: Dapper Dan
Date: 10/16/01 5:49:41 AM
Sooz you said it before i could get to it!!
Response #51
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/16/01 10:46:11 AM
Dammit. That is just WRONG! ;-)
Response #52
By: bob
Date: 10/16/01 11:23:26 AM
i just wonder if anyone here will be able to watch a commercial for the "flame broiled whopper" again without laughing histerically
Response #53
By: sooz
Date: 10/16/01 9:27:08 PM
I'd like to say that I've never seen Bob laugh hysterically.
Response #54
By: Seventh of Seven
Date: 10/17/01 4:57:18 AM
I'd like to say that neither have I.
Response #55
By: Roxanne
Date: 10/17/01 10:03:48 AM
I'd like to say: "First of all, a big thank you to the members of the Academy..."
But I won't be able to in this lifetime.
*sniff sniff*
Response #56
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/17/01 11:29:38 AM
Well, Roxy, you MIGHT get to thank the Academy if they decide to make a horror flick out of your nicked-nipple story, and cast YOU as the natural lead. I bet that would win an Oscar for sure.
Response #57
By: bob
Date: 10/17/01 1:44:07 PM
sooz: well maybe if you were funny you would see me laugh....
Response #58
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/17/01 11:02:22 PM
Oooooooh. Tssssssssssss.
Response #59
By: Roxanne
Date: 10/18/01 11:58:46 AM
What on earth would you title a film with such a plot line? I am now envisioning some "Psycho" shower scene and a "razor with a will of its own" voice-over...
Response #60
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/18/01 12:28:52 PM
Exactly! Wouldn't that be a great "thriller"!?
Response #61
By: bob
Date: 10/18/01 10:26:52 PM
next on fox....when good razors go horribly bad
Response #62
By: Roxanne
Date: 10/19/01 1:56:18 PM
And who is the sadist who has now invented these damn razors with *three* blades???
Response #63
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/19/01 2:01:42 PM
Now you can lose THREE layers of nipple of the price of ONE.
Response #64
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 10/20/01 2:21:30 AM
I was hoping to be able to find a sliced nipple picture on the internet somewhere, but it turns out that even fetishists have their limits, I suppose.
I did end up looking at a student 'zine for the University of Maryland, called The Cow Nipple. In particular, I ended up at their public bathroom of the month, which is kinda funny, in that 'we're a frat, so we can name our toilets after women' sort of way.
Response #65
By: bob
Date: 10/20/01 10:53:29 AM
actually, i find i cut myself less with the more blades on the razor. when i shave with a single blade i have to go get a tranfussion. of course, it could ahve something to do with the fact that i shave about once or twice a month
Response #66
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/20/01 1:37:29 PM
Homer, you actually went LOOKING for sliced nipples? Somethin' just ain't right about that.
Response #67
By: Roxanne
Date: 10/22/01 1:41:33 PM
Actually, there are fetish extremists who are into "cutting"...
My sliced nipple healed quite nicely; no scar even! So I have nothing but a weird anecdote to remember the occassion.
It happened in Albany, Oregon, for you West Coast fans.
Response #68
By: bob
Date: 10/22/01 3:23:16 PM
roxy found the bloody nipple web page, didn't she?
Response #69
By: sooz
Date: 10/22/01 3:29:48 PM
Oh, GEEZ, people. Here.
http://www.indianwomenonline.com/womenhome/HealingTouch/Health/breastlump/brelumpbot.htmwww.meddean.luc.edu/.../pulmonar/ images/abnormal/Scan3.jpg
www.daily.umn.edu/ae/Print/ 1997/39/st/coblood.html
(don't look unless you really wanna see)
Response #70
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/22/01 5:00:26 PM
Gee, thank you for the lovely link. (OF COURSE I AM GONNA LOOK!) ;-)
Response #71
By: bob
Date: 10/23/01 9:34:17 AM
if i hurry maybe i can fight the urge....
Response #72
By: bob
Date: 10/25/01 10:43:52 AM
hey it worked, by the time i tried to look the web pages were down. what a break. hahahahaha
Response #73
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/26/01 10:18:36 AM
But you TRIED.
Response #74
By: bob
Date: 10/26/01 11:51:12 AM
i know, but at least i failed
Response #75
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/26/01 6:04:57 PM
Good boy.
Response #76
By: sooz
Date: 10/27/01 3:06:10 PM
Scratch behind his ears and lets see what happens.
Response #77
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/27/01 7:25:45 PM
I'd rather not.
Response #78
By: bob
Date: 10/28/01 10:26:16 AM
hahahahahahhaa, suddenly i want a scooby snack
Response #79
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/29/01 8:07:21 AM
No snacks here. Go on. Go and fetch, or lick your balls, or something.
Response #80
By: bob
Date: 10/29/01 3:38:00 PM
i can't even touch my toes....much less...nevermind
Response #81
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/30/01 1:05:01 PM
Just don't start wiggling.
Speaking of wiggling, where's SoS?
Response #82
By: bob
Date: 11/2/01 5:16:02 PM
did anyone hear about the enterprise rental car thing? a guy cleaning a returned car found a bank deposit bag with $100K in it. he returned it to the rightful owners and enterprise is planning on getting him a bonus for the good press.
Response #83
By: WitchHazel
Date: 11/3/01 6:32:15 PM
Nope. Didn't hear about it. Until now.