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By: Da Sissop
Date: 2/5/99 8:40:06 PM
# Replies: 6
So I got this hankerin' fer pizza, see, but I didn't know which pizza dealers serve my area, and I didn't have any cash, so I figured I'd just go out and drive around... get some cash, and stop at the first pizza place I saw.
Turns out the first pizza place I saw was a Pizza Hut. Pizza Hut is a fine, established, professional, respectable pizza vendor, and I figure they've probably got the assembly line technique honed to such a degree that I won't have to wait very long on the carry-out order.
I pulled into the parking lot, and was a little disheartened to find that the place appeared to be rather, umm, busy. As I circled the restaurant looking for a parking space I could see bodies inside pressed up against the windows. A guy with flashlights eventually waved me into an empty spot. Who knew that Pizza Hut was such a happenin' place to be on a Friday night?
So I squeeze in the door, and it's utter chaos. Too few stressed-out employees running around like maniacs trying to appease too many angry customers. I can't even get to the counter to place my carry-out order, because I'm constantly being "excuse-me'd" out of the way.
Amidst the chaos, an angry woman manages to capture a frazzled waiter-drone, and demands to know the status of her pizza, because she's been waiting on it since, like, Tuesday. He refers her to the manager, who is presently at the cash register, which is also, coincidentally, the carry-out order counter. I'm waiting to place my order, figuring I'll tell him what I want, and then try to kill about 45 minutes browsing at the Texaco convenience store next door.
The woman forces her way through the crowd, past me, to the counter, and confronts the manager. She simply cannot wait any longer on this pizza of hers. Is it ready yet? Yes or no?
"Wuh--" the manager begins.
"YES OR NO?"
"Wuh-- wuh--"
She shakes her head and gestures to cut off whatever explanation he may be attempting. "YES... OR... NO?"
"No."
"Fine." She turns and elbows her way through the crowd, and exits the restaurant.
The manager, also clearly stressed-out, looks at me, attempts to smile, and croaks, "May I help you Sir?"
"Yes, what did that lady just abandon?"
He checked his screen. "Pepperoni and sausage, thin crust."
"I'll take it."
"It'll still be a couple of minutes."
"That's fine," I say.
"It's under the name of 'Joyce,'" he says.
Not 5 minutes later, someone calls my name. "Joyce!"
It's going to be 10 bucks. This is great! I am the only person ever, in the history of carry-out pizza, to walk in off the street and get a piping hot, fresh pizza in under 5 minutes. I am the Chosen One. All around me is chaos and despair, but yea I will fear no evil.
I see a cooler full of soda bottles and decide to impulse buy a 2-liter Dr. Pepper. "How much for that?"
"How 'bout we just give it to you? No charge. And again, we're REALLY REALLY sorry about the wait."
Response #1
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 2/7/99 4:23:45 AM
I WORSHIP AT YOUR FEET, PIZZAFANG!
Response #2
By: Hijinx
Date: 2/7/99 6:13:33 PM
LMAO!!! What an inspiration to us all....I, too, am mighty impressed, Joyce!
Response #3
By: Da Sissop
Date: 2/9/99 3:18:13 PM
Thank you, thank you. I owe it all to Tony Robbins....
Response #4
By: The Sorcerer
Date: 2/9/99 6:49:03 PM
He's not really human ya' know....
Tony Robbins that is, not you Fangmiester Miester Fang.
Sorc'(Rev)
Response #5
By: sooz
Date: 2/9/99 8:53:53 PM
I hadn't laughed that hard in weeks. Some days, Fang, you go beyond my wildest expectations.
Response #6
By: rorschach
Date: 2/11/99 11:10:30 PM
Fang is a GAWD! (coming from me you can be suitably impressed)