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By: Da Sissop
Date: 10/14/00 7:07:04 AM
# Replies: 251
I don't know if it's my sedentary lifestyle, my fondness for beer, or perhaps a side effect of heating my apartment by using my oven (microwave), but over the last couple of years I've been gaining pounds and losing energy (see diagram), and this week I decided to do something about it.
I went to my local Academy superstore and purchased a new CardioMax 535 excercise bicycle. I had to assemble it myself, which was a workout in and of itself, and when I was done I found I had even somehow managed to streamline the original design.
I don't own a scale, but I think I'm probably about 20 pounds over my "natural" weight.
My goal isn't so much about weight as it is about stamina, though, so I'm targeting the following: On January 1st, 2004, I will skateboard to Austin.
Response #1
By: Ralf
Date: 10/14/00 1:17:31 PM
It *might* be... ah... increasing chronological decreptitude.
Entropy.
Old age.
Your metabolism ain't what it once was, and like me, you can't pound down a sixpack of beer and just shrug it off like when you were 20.
So what *I* did to lose weight was to make Mary go on a diet. Bam! Within a month I'd lost 5 pounds. After six months, I'm down about 15 pounds and 2" in my waist. All from *HER* being on a diet.
Weird.
(Oh, and Mary has lost 42 POUNDS! Geez! She's pretty close to the weight she was at when I hitched her.)
Response #2
By: Da Sissop
Date: 10/15/00 1:16:52 PM
Well I'm putting together a health regimen consisting of all the best elements of all the other fad diets.
1. A low carb, high protein diet. Nothing but red meat. Frequently bacon.
2. Light beer. Okay, not in public, but at home.
3. Binge & purge.
4. A shake with lunch.
5. Fever dreams burn calories too.
Response #3
By: Roxanne
Date: 10/15/00 7:24:20 PM
How many calories does masturbation burn?
Response #4
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 10/15/00 10:31:59 PM
Masturbation is said to burn vital 'chi,' which is an energy force which flows through all life. How many calories per 'chi?' Beats me.
I, too, more closely resemble Fang's drawing than I want. My solution? Not care! I live in Seattle, fer cryinoutloud! It's RAINING! EVERYONE looks like a mushroom! I've got more to worry about than a few pounds which will one day give me a fatal heart attack!
Either that, or the coffee diet that I've heard a few people murmur about. They say it's risky, but that there's no better way to get rid of a few pounds than to consume only coffee and sugar for about a week. (Seriously. I've met people who've done this. They frightened me.)
Response #5
By: Capt. Spastic
Date: 10/16/00 4:35:21 AM
Homer, of course you're going to loose weight...from all the SHAKING!
I hate to tell you this guys, but what's happening to you has happened or will happen to EVERYONE.
Getting old...its sucks, but it sure as hell beats the alternative!
Response #6
By: Ralf
Date: 10/16/00 5:23:38 AM
What, staying young and beautiful for all eternity?
Any aerobic activity -- anything that raises your heart-rate for minutes at a time -- is supposedly good for you. So masturbation is probably equivalent to a brisk walk, if you can keep it up long enough.
Vigorous sex with a partner is probably better though.
Response #7
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 10/16/00 2:06:59 PM
"Fuck your way to health!"
Anybody (besides me) read 'Jitterbug Perfume' by Tom Robbins? It's about a couple who decide not to die, so they don't. They stay healthy by taking lots of hot baths, doing yoga, and a rigorous regimen of copulation.
Truly, a book with something to teach us all.
Response #8
By: Gowan McGland
Date: 10/16/00 4:53:21 PM
Let's see, that's j-i-t-t-e-r...
Response #9
By: Capt. Spastic
Date: 10/16/00 9:58:30 PM
No Ralf, the alternative being DEATH.
Lets' see death...getting old.
I think I'll take getting old.
Haven;t read that one Homer, but I do love Tom Robbins.
He is great!
Still Life with the Woodpecker is still my favorite.
Response #10
By: Ralf
Date: 10/17/00 5:42:31 AM
I dunno. Given the choice between eternal youth and old age I think I'd choose eternal youth.
Response #11
By: sooz
Date: 10/17/00 6:54:20 AM
At the risk of sounding like it's my mission to disagree with Spas, here I go again:
Richie's grandpa is 94. He's on his deathbed. As long as Richie can remember, Grandpa Dewey has claimed to be near death.
When talking with Grandpa Dewey (who has his entire mind), he'll let you know that getting old is NOT the best alternative. Here's a sample of his basic lecture:
"Richie, Susan, 94 is just TOO OLD. 70 is a good age to live to, maybe 75. But I'm 94! I haven't been able to dance in years. I can't go for a good walk. I can't do ANYthing. I'm stuck in this bed/chair with bedsores and a television, and this is a living hell. 94 is too old. Try to make sure you die at 70 or 75."
"Will do, Grandpa. Thanks."
(If it comes to mind to pray/send positive thoughts for Grandpa Dewey, please feel free. We really don't expect him to make it to the end of the month this time.)
Response #12
By: Capt. Spastic
Date: 10/17/00 7:39:24 AM
It's ok Sooz, I've gotten use to it. You like disgreeing with me, even if it's something we remotely agree on. Everyone has to have a hobby. :)
Truth of it is, you just never know. I mean sheesh, there have been people that lived to a 100, and still jogged. I have a friend of mine that I worked with at Fox7 when I was there and her mom was a real estate agent still actively working at 82.
I really won't mind getting old. I just don't want to get senile.
Although it's not like anyone would really see much difference I think.
Response #13
By: Roxanne
Date: 10/17/00 9:40:48 AM
Getting older and still having a high quality of life is a better alternative to death.
Response #14
By: Ralf
Date: 10/17/00 2:04:00 PM
--[Good thoughts to Richie's Dad]--
Everyone's different.
My dad's 70, and is in such great shape he could kick my ass if he wanted. Hell, he could chase me down first. This man if BUFF. I expect him to live well into his 90's and die with a tennis racquet in his hand and a smile on his lips.
But utterly senile, I'm betting. See, he's spending so much time on his body (daily 3 hour workouts, 4 hours on the tennis courts, running on the beach, wacky low-carb diets) that his mind's not the steel trap it once was. We get into arguments about things HE told me about, then forgets he told me, and accuses me of making up. He sends me cryptic emails with the title "Pretty Funny!" but without any attachments or text. He tells me jokes twice in the same day, not realizing he's already told me that one.
But of he's happy, and appears to be getting happier, so who am I to complain?
Response #15
By: Fung Swazy
Date: 10/17/00 8:07:11 PM
I hope I die before I get old. Age is a state of mind, too bad nobody told your 25 year old body.
Response #16
By: Capt. Spastic
Date: 10/18/00 5:40:14 AM
And Sooz, I meant to add this to my last post, absolute good thoughts to Richie's dad. Wish the best for him.
Response #17
By: sooz
Date: 10/18/00 5:58:40 AM
Thanks for the thoughts on Grandpa Dewey. Richie's in San Antonio with him now.
I'm here, trying to be me AND Richie, and trying to keep foremost in my mind that the world will not stop if I don't get everything done in one day.
Response #18
By: The Professor
Date: 10/21/00 8:25:27 AM
Sometimes living a long time has a purpose. My great aunt recently passed away a few months ago; she lived over 90 years. Unfortunately, she lived out of town and I was not always the best nephew (didn't write or anything)
The thing that amazed me was the number of people who turned out to her funeral with stories of what she did for them. Most of them came from troubled homes and she took them in and practically raised them. Almost 20 people told that story, including my dad (she was his aunt)
So I think it is a matter of what you do with your life, and what you do for others.
Response #19
By: WitchHazel
Date: 9/27/01 10:52:58 AM
Sissop, that diagram shows you have, er, breasts. Is this true?
And since it's been about a year now... have you lost weight, or gained any momentum on that bike? (I'm thinking of getting one, and I want to know if it's worth it.) ;-)
Response #20
By: Roxanne
Date: 9/27/01 11:31:06 AM
The last time getting a bike was "worth it" was when you had a bike with a banana seat, a high sissy bar, streamers on the handgrips, and you'd ride it sans helmet and knee pads *in the street* *barefoot* and use it to jump homemade ramps al a Evel Kneivel!!!!
Damn it! I miss my "tom boy" days!!!
Response #21
By: WitchHazel
Date: 9/28/01 8:20:44 AM
Damn, girl! Did you grow up in MY neighborhood?!? :-) Those were the days!
Response #22
By: Cleotis
Date: 9/29/01 7:10:45 PM
I, for one, would enjoy seeing actual Sissop boobies. None of this artist rendition stuff. Preferably with some nipple. Show us da flesh, fang!
Response #23
By: Gowan McGland
Date: 9/29/01 11:20:50 PM
What the...?
CLEO IS IN DA HOUSE!
Response #24
By: sooz
Date: 9/30/01 3:42:53 PM
Oh my gawsh. (Salutes Cleo.)
Response #25
By: Da Sissop
Date: 9/30/01 4:45:12 PM
Cleo! How the heck have you been? I'll need your current email address for the photos.
Hazel: In terms of physical fitness, the bike hasn't been worth it. But the seat holds most of my bills and snailmail until I pay/read it, and the bars make a great coathanger.
Response #26
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/1/01 7:59:39 AM
Oh, and I still want to know if Sissop has breasts.
Response #27
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/1/01 7:59:48 AM
Well, shoot. That's what I was afraid of. No indoor bike for me, then! (And I already have a desk with bills on it, and a coat hanger in the front.) :-)
Response #28
By: Cleotis
Date: 10/3/01 11:24:53 AM
If Fang doesn't actually have cleavage, He can try!
Response #29
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/3/01 11:48:34 AM
Damn, that's sexy.
Response #30
By: sooz
Date: 10/3/01 12:45:48 PM
It disturbs me that Cleo was familiar with this link.
Response #31
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/3/01 4:39:37 PM
Don't all guys do that? ;-)
Response #32
By: Roxanne
Date: 10/3/01 9:23:30 PM
Guess this would work for flat-chested women just as well.
Response #33
By: Cleotis
Date: 10/4/01 8:37:41 PM
If I were a drag queen, I wouldn't need to do that.
(spoken as if I'm in a support group):
"I'm a chunky man, and I have boobies."
Response #34
By: sooz
Date: 10/4/01 8:46:11 PM
HI, CHUNKY MAN! We're glad you're here. You're in the right place. Progress, not perfection. One day at a time. Easy does it. It works if you work it.
Me? In a 12-step group? Never...
Response #35
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/5/01 10:46:32 AM
As Homer pointed out the other evening (during a mini-Seattle snerd), I am a "Recovering Christian" (no offense, Sooz). However, ironically, the second step of the 12-step program is "admitting there is a Higher Power". Hmmmm. :-)
Response #36
By: sooz
Date: 10/5/01 3:33:46 PM
No offense taken! I call myself a "recoverign Baptist" all the time.
So as to avoid any confusion, here's the 12 steps, straight out of the Big Book.
1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
Response #37
By: Cleotis
Date: 10/5/01 5:59:05 PM
I need a drink.
Response #38
By: sooz
Date: 10/6/01 8:58:12 AM
I'm buyin'.
Response #39
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/6/01 8:08:11 PM
And I'll pour!
Response #40
By: bob
Date: 10/7/01 11:22:51 AM
ok, remeber, when shaving your chest....be careful not to remove the nipples. shave around them, not over them.
hi, my name is bob, and i only have one nipple....left.
hahaha
Response #41
By: Seventh of Seven
Date: 10/8/01 3:30:09 AM
yeah, it's funny until it happens to you :(
Response #42
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/8/01 8:19:24 AM
Bob, did you get the razor caught on your nipple ring, or what?
Response #43
By: bob
Date: 10/8/01 12:50:30 PM
i don't have a nipple ring. i don't like to poke holes in my body. i do other things, but that is a different story all together (shut up sooz).
ok, i must confess, it actually didn't happen to me, but if you have ever seen the wall, pink shaves his chest and looks like he cut his nipples off. so, i thought i would share the advice so no unfortunate nuns would loose a nipple
Response #44
By: Cleotis
Date: 10/8/01 6:32:30 PM
My friend Rex shaved his eyebrows once and that was pretty trippy looking.
My only "neck-down" shaving experience was when I got fixed. We figured that three kids was enough for our blood, so I did the manly thing and got the snip. The part I deaded most was shaving - you know, "down there".
Not to sound like a perv or anything, but I must admit that there was something, uuh... kind of... "nice" about it. I'm not saying I'd do it again, but it wasn't nearly as scary as I thought it would be, and I'd venture to say that I'd probably do it again on a dare.
Why I felt compelled to share that with you all, I've no idea.
Response #45
By: bob
Date: 10/8/01 10:42:14 PM
wonder who is going to undertake that challenge
Response #46
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/9/01 8:20:50 AM
I would share a similar experience, but I don't want to make y'all sick here, so I will shut up now.
Go, Cleo!!!!
Response #47
By: sooz
Date: 10/9/01 9:05:03 AM
About once a week, a group of women friends and I have "Girl Night" (I think Bob calls it "bitch night") where we all meet at a local cafe, drink coffee, and chat. At one such meeting, one woman passed out business cards for a woman that does a "Brazilian wax" which, apparently, removes ALL hair, um, there. My friend swore by it... said it's improved her marriage greatly.
Response #48
By: bob
Date: 10/9/01 1:55:28 PM
actually, i call it bitch fest
Response #49
By: Seventh of Seven
Date: 10/9/01 2:35:40 PM
all the kitty cats are shaved in brazil?
Response #50
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 10/9/01 5:09:51 PM
In case any of you ever need this particular bit of information sometime in your life:
The best way to shave a scrotum is with a dispoable razor and no cream. Just gently scrape the shaver over the scrotal sac.
How do I know this? Get me drunk and maybe I'll tell you the story.
Response #51
By: bob
Date: 10/9/01 5:38:57 PM
well, in order to know the "best way" you must have tried it several different ways....either that or had some outside help
Response #52
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/9/01 5:50:13 PM
Okay, MY STORY is that my first husband (note: EX-husband) preferred NO HAIR ANYWHERE. So, I complied. But for some reason, I felt like I was 10 years old. (Maybe that was the POINT, ya think?)
It just didn't feel "natural" is all I'm sayin'. (Although GROOMED, is definitely nice.)
Response #53
By: Gowan McGland
Date: 10/9/01 6:47:18 PM
Must...stop...visualizing...
Response #54
By: sooz
Date: 10/10/01 7:17:25 AM
See, I'm kinda with Witch on this. The idea of a "bare" woman (or man, for that matter) is a little too reminiscent of childhood to me, and seems kinda creepy. I'm not saying that everyone that does this is into kids or anything. I'm saying that, for ME, it's kinda weird.
Response #55
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/10/01 8:40:04 AM
According to Dr. Evil, a scorn scrotum is breathtaking.
Response #56
By: Roxanne
Date: 10/10/01 10:27:00 AM
I don't think men like hairless women because it makes them think of pre-pubescent girls; they just don't like getting hairballs! Ack! Ack!
On a related "nipple shaving" story: I actually did shave my nipple one time. I was shaving my legs in the shower and accidently nicked my nip with the razor. Oh my GAWD! It hurt like hell and bled like something from a Monty Python sketch! The most embarrassing part was I was alone on a biz trip at the time and had no band-aids. I had to call the front desk of the hotel and fortunately there was a girl there who brought me some band-aids.
Response #57
By: bob
Date: 10/10/01 3:36:06 PM
were they the little round ones that are used for shots?
Response #58
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/10/01 5:39:23 PM
I'm snorting, I'm laughing so hard!
Bob, we need to stop laughing like this. People are gonna talk.
Response #59
By: Da Sissop
Date: 10/10/01 6:44:43 PM
Hell hath no fury like a scrotum scorned.
Response #60
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/11/01 10:19:24 AM
That's "shorned", not "scorned". :-)
Response #61
By: bob
Date: 10/11/01 11:01:40 AM
hahahhahhaha, siss.
sorry witch, i like laughing, let them talk
Response #62
By: Roxanne
Date: 10/11/01 1:21:38 PM
Little round band-aids would have been appropriate; however, I didn't tell the hotel clerk cick the reason I needed them!
I was just so shocked at how it bled! I was standing there in the shower wondering what a weird way to die...cut my nipple and bled to death in the shower...
Response #63
By: Gowan McGland
Date: 10/11/01 9:17:28 PM
I'm still stuck on the image of you in the shower...
Response #64
By: rorschach
Date: 10/12/01 10:31:07 AM
down boy....
Response #65
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/12/01 11:11:07 AM
I'm still writhing in pain at the MERE THOUGHT of blood coming from a nipple...
Response #66
By: bob
Date: 10/12/01 2:25:37 PM
good point roxy, i can understand your perdicament.
witch, sounds like some strange horror movie, huh. some demon woman that feeds her babies "breast blood"
Response #67
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/12/01 9:55:41 PM
Yup. Pretty durn gory.
Response #68
By: Roxanne
Date: 10/14/01 9:51:07 PM
I guess that's how Mummy Vampires feed their Baby Vampires?
Gowan: The imagined version of me in the shower is undoubtedly much more pleasant than the real-life version of me in the shower. Enjoy!
Response #69
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/15/01 8:08:11 AM
HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Response #70
By: Gowan McGland
Date: 10/15/01 8:53:15 AM
I wouldn't mind finding out. That's not a problem, is it? I mean, it's for SCIENCE.
Response #71
By: bob
Date: 10/15/01 12:37:46 PM
right, purely scientific motives, i bet we are all buying that one
Response #72
By: Roxanne
Date: 10/15/01 1:15:21 PM
Gowan: I'm sure somewhere out there in the pre-verted Internet world, there is a "Roxanne in the Shower" video circulating. If I were any good with Photo Shop, I'd paste my face over some hot babe taking a shower and send it to you.
Response #73
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/15/01 1:21:11 PM
Gowan doesn't NEED more visuals. If he's drooling NOW, he'd be a mess with a "video".
Response #74
By: Gowan McGland
Date: 10/15/01 4:10:37 PM
mmmm...video.
Response #75
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/16/01 10:46:46 AM
See what I mean!
Response #76
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/26/01 10:21:01 AM
Okay. What is everyone going to be for Halloween?
My hubby is Doc Holliday! (And he can live up to the Val Kilmer cuteness facter ;-)) And I'm gonna be his madame - Big Nose Kate! Woo! Got my parlor dress (without a bustle, naturally -- because Kate is naughty), a fan, and some pearls. Hubby has a pipe and a tin cup for his whiskey. Hee!
Response #77
By: rorschach
Date: 10/26/01 11:10:19 AM
I'm gonna be the guy hiding in the bushes with a 410 shotgun with rocksalt in wait for the bastards that trashed my intricately carved pumpkin's from last year to try again.....
Response #78
By: bob
Date: 10/26/01 11:53:46 AM
i think i may take gowan's suggestion and be "mulletboy", the superhero of warehouse saloon and billiards. "here i come to scare the day!!"
Response #79
By: sooz
Date: 10/26/01 2:54:33 PM
You're really gonna spend an evening on that, Ror*?? Please tell me you're joking.
Response #80
By: sooz
Date: 10/26/01 2:57:40 PM
Richie's being Clint Eastwood in a spaghetti western. He wanted me to be his short Hispanic sidekick, but I don't think so.
I'm just gonna wear a lot of sponges. I'm self-absorbed.
Response #81
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/26/01 6:07:36 PM
Ahahahaha!
Response #82
By: rorschach
Date: 10/29/01 10:32:04 AM
on what? carving it or guarding it?
I have a tradition of carving quite intricate pumpkins. last year I had three relatively difficult ones, the local hooligans stole them and busted them up in the street while I took my daughter out trick or treating (Becky was home giving out the goodies to the other kiddos, she was getting quite preggo at the time and that much walking woulda killed her). It was disheartening that I spent three days carving them and some fucking moron decided to play vollyball with them.... This year I've got the most intricate pattern yet to do (will be doing it tonight if I have time.) but I'm only doing one of them. actually I won't be using a 410, don't own one (wish I did, but it's too late to buy one now thanks to our fucked up congress and that moron clinton.... (that oughtta get a rise out of some people...)) but instead will be using a baseball bat... you can buy any number of those without a permit OR a waiting period....
Response #83
By: sooz
Date: 10/29/01 11:23:04 AM
I was just amazed that you'd spend your Halloween baiting a hooligan. Why not put the intricate artwork in a window, go out and have fun with the kiddos?
Response #84
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/29/01 2:32:28 PM
Or just sit next to it on the porch with that rifle? That oughtta do the trick.
Response #85
By: bob
Date: 10/29/01 3:39:58 PM
besides, all the really good hoolagins already own their guns, so unless you can really hit those fastballs....
Response #86
By: Da Sissop
Date: 10/29/01 5:15:50 PM
Guns, shmuns.
You just need a good boobytrap in the pumpkin.
Response #87
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/30/01 1:08:13 PM
Okay, who's dressing up for Halloween here? Sooz, are you really going as "Self-Absorbed"?
Response #88
By: rorschach
Date: 10/30/01 1:25:56 PM
does that involve sponges?
Response #89
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/30/01 1:29:56 PM
And what KIND of sponges?
Response #90
By: bob
Date: 10/31/01 9:54:22 AM
i didn't think they made those sponges anymore
Response #91
By: sooz
Date: 10/31/01 12:51:18 PM
In fact, at this very moment, I'm wearing:
A t-shirt with things writen on it... like "Yes, it IS all about me," "All that + bag of chips = ME" and "You... who?"
On the spots that have no slogans, there's kitchen sponges of varying colors. 8 in all.
On the spots that have no slogans or sponges, there's pictures. You geussed it, of me.
I AM self-absorbed.
Response #92
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/31/01 1:38:24 PM
Riot! I love it, Sooz. After all, it IS all about YOU, isn't it?
And Bob, compliments of Gowan, I received a link to the new "Today Sponge". So, yes. They are out there again. (I'm considering making a list of who I consider "sponge worthy." I'm afraid the list would be rather short, though. ;-))
Response #93
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 11/1/01 2:02:38 AM
Not to knock the social changes made possible by the development of safe and effective contraceptives, but it really creeps me out that that woman's nail polish is exactly the same color as her sponge.
Response #94
By: WitchHazel
Date: 11/1/01 8:34:37 AM
Heh. And why is she squeezing one? To show you what it looks like before...?... Er... nevermind. It's just wrong.
Response #95
By: sooz
Date: 11/1/01 4:35:47 PM
You gotta squeeze it to insert it.
Response #96
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 11/1/01 9:07:27 PM
With nails like those??
Response #97
By: sooz
Date: 11/2/01 7:24:04 AM
Sure. If you cut it a little with a nail, it'll just make the spermicide goo out that much faster.
Response #98
By: WitchHazel
Date: 11/2/01 8:48:01 AM
Ick.
Response #99
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 11/2/01 4:36:42 PM
Bad nun. Bad, bad nun!
Response #100
By: bob
Date: 11/3/01 11:35:05 AM
but sometimes bad is good
Response #101
By: WitchHazel
Date: 11/3/01 6:34:22 PM
Only sometimes.
Response #102
By: Cleotis
Date: 11/8/01 5:31:47 PM
Just remember, it's called "Today's Sponge".
Not "Last Week's Sponge".
Response #103
By: sooz
Date: 11/9/01 5:09:33 AM
Awwwww, duuuuuude.
Response #104
By: WitchHazel
Date: 11/9/01 11:14:43 AM
Now THAT is wrong, dude.
Response #105
By: Seventh of Seven
Date: 11/9/01 1:16:31 PM
you're such a pill!
Response #106
By: Cleotis
Date: 11/14/01 7:09:12 PM
heh heh
Response #107
By: WitchHazel
Date: 1/2/02 11:27:52 PM
Okay, how many of you started exercising again yesterday? (Getting back to the original thread...)
I didn't! And I'm proud of it! :-)
Response #108
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 1/3/02 2:16:21 AM
I exercised by buying some new boots and a backpack, and then went for a walk with my dad at the nearby audobon sanctuary.
Edith L. Moore rocks my world.
Response #109
By: sooz
Date: 1/3/02 6:13:13 AM
I started walking up the stairs to my second floor office instead of taking the elevator. Whooptie doo, eh?
Response #110
By: WitchHazel
Date: 1/3/02 10:20:54 AM
Hey, it's a start! I started parking a mile away so I could WALK to work (as opposed to a HALF-MILE away).
Response #111
By: Da Sissop
Date: 1/8/02 8:54:57 PM
I believe it's important to listen to what my body tells me, and my body tells me not to exercise.
Response #112
By: rorschach
Date: 1/9/02 10:59:49 AM
round is a shape....
Response #113
By: The Sorcerer
Date: 1/12/02 5:54:08 PM
Exercise makes me hungary for junk food. =)
Sorc'
Response #114
By: bob
Date: 1/14/02 9:21:55 AM
as does working, sleeping, talking, breathing....etc. junk food is good
Response #115
By: WitchHazel
Date: 1/14/02 1:19:49 PM
I like a well-balanced diet. Some good food, some bad food, and everything in between.
Response #116
By: Roxanne
Date: 1/14/02 3:48:54 PM
You could try this...
http://www.staylace.com/pinups/spook/
Response #117
By: bob
Date: 1/14/02 5:00:24 PM
holy shit, corsetry is a hobby? anyway, i see nothing attractive about squeazing yourself into a corset. it just looks odd to me.
Response #118
By: The Sorcerer
Date: 1/14/02 6:32:28 PM
While I admit that a nice corset can look muy sexy. Done to extremes like the "spook" girl on the website above it makes me ill.
Sorc'
Response #119
By: WitchHazel
Date: 1/15/02 10:17:19 AM
Spook is SPOOKAY! Yuuuuuuuck.
I do love corsets, but not for the traditional reason of making you look like a skeleton.
In fact, my friend sells 'em. Check her out!
Response #120
By: Roxanne
Date: 1/15/02 10:33:58 AM
Cool, Witchy! I love corsets myself; but I could never do the extreme corset training stuff. I'll have to check out your friend's wares!
Response #121
By: sooz
Date: 1/15/02 2:41:24 PM
On my way!
Response #122
By: Da Sissop
Date: 1/15/02 2:59:51 PM
Cripes! That spooky girl's liver must be in her thigh!
Response #123
By: bob
Date: 1/16/02 11:49:11 AM
hahaha siss
Response #124
By: Roxanne
Date: 1/16/02 3:22:00 PM
Yeah, if you notice some of the pictures, her abdomen really protrudes below the corset. That must be where all the internal organs went. I just can't imagine what kind of health problems she's going to end up with.
Response #125
By: WitchHazel
Date: 1/16/02 4:25:25 PM
Even when she dresses NORMAL (like her black dress), she emphasizes her small waist by wearing a belt around it! Dang, if I saw a girl like that in a bar, I would lose my lunch. I'm sorry, but that is SO unattractive.
Response #126
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 1/16/02 5:56:18 PM
Some folks are into it. I think it's icky. I hate tight clothes; I can't imagine staying in a corset longer than 10 seconds.
Response #127
By: WitchHazel
Date: 1/16/02 6:33:10 PM
Good thing you don't hafta wear a bra, Homer. Those things are confining and annoying. I go braless whenever I can get away with it (when I'm wearing a thick sweater or sweatshirt, for example).
The only reason I wear bras at ALL is not necessarily because I care about over-exposing myself as much as it is that I care about the possibility of having saggy tits when I'm 50. Call me vain, but I'll wear a damn bra if I can maintain a high PERKINESS LEVEL well into retirement.
Response #128
By: Gowan McGland
Date: 1/17/02 9:57:37 AM
(reaches for drool cup)
Response #129
By: bob
Date: 1/17/02 10:17:05 AM
hahahaha gowan.....but why a cup and not a towel? you saving it for something?
Response #130
By: sooz
Date: 1/17/02 10:21:53 AM
Later, he's gonna use it for lubri... nevermind.
Response #131
By: WitchHazel
Date: 1/17/02 11:12:57 AM
Cheese Louise. Can't a woman talk about her wonderful, firm, perky breasts without having to pass out drool rags?
Response #132
By: Gowan McGland
Date: 1/17/02 5:47:39 PM
I feel faint.
Response #133
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 1/17/02 6:14:54 PM
Perky breasts rool. 'Saggy' breasts don't have the perkiness factor, but they sure have a story to tell.
Response #134
By: sooz
Date: 1/18/02 7:03:15 AM
Hehehe... I like that. A story to tell.
Response #135
By: WitchHazel
Date: 1/18/02 10:29:45 AM
ALL breasts have a story to tell. Even my perky ones. ;-)
Response #136
By: Roxanne
Date: 1/18/02 1:12:46 PM
Large breasts are not naturally perky. So any perky large breasts you may see are probably fake.
Response #137
By: WitchHazel
Date: 1/18/02 3:43:50 PM
I always wondered about that. Some people have WAY TOO MUCH stack for their perkiness level... ;-)
Response #138
By: sooz
Date: 1/19/02 10:53:13 AM
Agreed. After all, gravity has to take its toll, ya know.
Response #139
By: Roxanne
Date: 1/22/02 9:53:34 AM
Let's ban gravity!
Response #140
By: WitchHazel
Date: 1/22/02 12:00:33 PM
Yeah, I'm all for a slightly lighter version of gravity. First of all, I'd be taller (at least that's what they say -- without gravity, we'd all be taller), and I wouldn't hafta wear a bra. Oh, and those flying cars might become possible!
Now, if we can figure out how to turn that gravity meter down, we'd be set.
Response #141
By: bob
Date: 1/23/02 11:13:23 AM
the easiest way to shrink gravity would be to move to the moon.
Response #142
By: Roxanne
Date: 1/23/02 11:21:26 AM
Flying cars and floating boobs. I could like that.
Response #143
By: sooz
Date: 1/24/02 5:59:10 AM
Moving the moon... that certainly sounds feasible.
Response #144
By: Gowan McGland
Date: 1/24/02 12:51:28 PM
I'd do it but I'm busy.
Response #145
By: bob
Date: 1/24/02 4:18:58 PM
not move the moon, move too the moon, silly
Response #146
By: sooz
Date: 1/25/02 5:19:34 AM
Oh... move TO the moon. Sorry, misread.
Moving to the moon is ceratinly more workable.
Response #147
By: bob
Date: 1/25/02 1:02:39 PM
exactly, easy as moooooooon pie
Response #148
By: WitchHazel
Date: 1/25/02 5:16:57 PM
I'd move there, just to be different (and get away from all the chaos of Earth).
Response #149
By: sooz
Date: 1/26/02 11:16:13 AM
Let's all move to West Texas. Not much chaos there.
Response #150
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 1/26/02 2:40:53 PM
I was going to say, "Or Idaho, to Craters Of The Moon National Monument," with a link to the aforementioned park. But it looks like the NPS has taken down their webservers "due to conditions outside our department."
Speaking of conditions outside, it's snowing. How very un-moon-like. Hopefully it'll stick and we'll have another winter wonderland like last year.
Response #151
By: sooz
Date: 1/27/02 6:23:57 AM
I read about the NPS sites being taken down, but now I can't remember why.
Old age is hell, I tell ya.
Response #152
By: WitchHazel
Date: 1/27/02 9:46:52 AM
See. I'm not sure I'd wanna live there now. I mean, NO SNOW!?!?!? I mean, I'd be reeeeally happy with no RAIN, but I gotta have SNOW.
Response #153
By: sooz
Date: 1/27/02 11:40:27 AM
I think I've missed snow twice in the last 16 years.
Response #154
By: rorschach
Date: 2/6/02 7:33:22 PM
funny you should mention that, got a search going in another browser window for flights to calgary.... gotta hankerin to see some snow and mountains again......
Response #155
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 2/6/02 10:26:58 PM
Take the train to Jasper.
Response #156
By: sooz
Date: 2/7/02 8:33:55 PM
And take it quick, before it goes belly up in October.
Response #157
By: WitchHazel
Date: 2/10/02 10:09:26 AM
Jasper? Or the train?
Response #158
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 2/11/02 12:15:26 AM
Canda's ViaRail is going belly up?
Response #159
By: rorschach
Date: 2/11/02 10:56:41 AM
well, decided to postpone the trip to see snow.. decided to stay here and pay some bills with the money instead.... man, real life sucks sometimes....
Response #160
By: bob
Date: 2/15/02 12:03:13 PM
i didsagree ror, real life always sucks
Response #161
By: sooz
Date: 2/16/02 4:43:19 PM
Real life is what you make it.
Response #162
By: WitchHazel
Date: 2/19/02 3:55:36 PM
YOUR real life might always suck; mine only sucks about fifty percent of the time. But I'm tempted to trade with you, Bob. At least life would be PREDICTABLE with your odds.
Response #163
By: sooz
Date: 2/19/02 6:27:29 PM
She has a point.
Response #164
By: Gowan McGland
Date: 2/20/02 9:09:16 AM
This has always been my philosophy about being a pessimist.
An optimist expects good things and is disappointed when bad things happen.
A pessimist expects bad things and is joyful when good things happen.
Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.
—Alexander Pope
Response #165
By: sooz
Date: 2/20/02 10:35:44 AM
I'll counter with another quote:
"He who aims low will achieve it."
Response #166
By: WitchHazel
Date: 2/20/02 11:31:01 AM
Good quotes. I am a closet pessimist. That's probably why I'm happy half the time. (We won't talk about the OTHER half of the time.) :-)
Response #167
By: bob
Date: 2/20/02 12:01:27 PM
i am not a pessamist, i am a realist. a glass that is half full, is also half empty, unless you are sooz, in which case you never allow your diet coke to fall more than one sip below the top.
Response #168
By: sooz
Date: 2/20/02 9:55:49 PM
Dammit. He's uncovered my secret.
Response #169
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 2/24/02 12:33:16 PM
"Every man's gotta believe something. I believe I'll have another beer."
Response #170
By: WitchHazel
Date: 2/25/02 9:26:59 AM
I'm with Homer. Pour me another. And make sure it's FULL, not just HALF-full.
Response #171
By: Gowan McGland
Date: 2/26/02 9:40:07 AM
But why refill it if it's just gonna be empty again?
I never understood that argument.
"Make your bed."
"I would, but I'm just going to unmake it again tonight..."
Response #172
By: rorschach
Date: 2/27/02 11:27:21 AM
for that matter why use a glass at all? just drink it from the can/bottle.....
Response #173
By: sooz
Date: 2/28/02 12:16:21 AM
And why wash the dishes? They're just gonna get dirty again...
Response #174
By: rorschach
Date: 2/28/02 2:29:27 PM
I don't imagine you'd get sick from an unmade bed, but an unwashed dish just might give you a nasty case of food poisoning. there's hygene, then there's neatness. I personally don't care much about neatness, but I'm not all that crazy about bad hygene. some examples:
dirty clothes on the floor vs in the hamper.... 6 one way half dozen the other in my book... yes, it looks like hell but if you are the antisocial person I am... who'd ever see it?
garbage taken out vs overflowing... this could lead to the co-habitation of less than desirable invertebrates and possibly vertebrates as well... I.E. rats and roaches...
Response #175
By: WitchHazel
Date: 2/28/02 4:02:28 PM
I am a neat freak most of the time, but there is one thing I could care less about... floors. If I can't SEE the dirt in the carpet, I don't wanna CLEAN it. However, we have two dogs that shed, so... I am not allowed that luxury!
Response #176
By: rorschach
Date: 3/1/02 10:46:32 AM
it's funny, I'm married to a woman who is both a slob and a neat freak all rolled into one. You want to talk about CONFLICTED! she goes into our room, sees dirty clothes on the floor and has a cow about all the clothes on the floor. I go in there to pick them up, and guess what, 75% of the clothes on the floor are hers! so I point this out to her, and she says "Well, why should I pick up after myself if nobody else in this house will?". lets face it. there is no way to win this argument...
Response #177
By: Gowan McGland
Date: 3/1/02 6:35:21 PM
I like things to be neat, but not necessary clean. Not that I like things DIRTY, mind you, but I'm perfectly happy with a neat, orderly room that's dusty than a non-dusty room that's a wreck.
Response #178
By: sooz
Date: 3/2/02 10:36:48 AM
My husband does about 90% of the cleaning. I always marvled at the heap of clothes in the bottom of the floor and wondered why he never did anything about that, when he's so tidy about other things.
Then one day, I started diving into the pile. EVERY SINGLE BIT of it was my stuff... sweaters, pants that didn't fit, old belts, etc. For FOUR YEARS, the guy never said a word about it... just stepped over it to get to his clothes.
That, my friends, is restraint.
Response #179
By: bob
Date: 3/5/02 11:51:33 AM
my house matches my mind....
Response #180
By: sooz
Date: 3/5/02 1:51:04 PM
Big and trashy?
Response #181
By: bob
Date: 3/6/02 10:57:42 AM
cluttered and dirty
Response #182
By: Zane T. Dark
Date: 3/6/02 1:06:01 PM
Hehe, she was close.
Response #183
By: rorschach
Date: 3/11/02 10:20:25 AM
well, they ARE next door neighbors, of course they are close.....
Response #184
By: Zane T. Dark
Date: 3/11/02 9:51:23 PM
Neighbors? Now what does knowing what your mind looks like have to do with never getting your step ladder, weed trimmer, or industrial strength canine toenail clippers back, I wonder?
My old neighbors had a dog that would bark EVERY SECOND I WAS IN MY OWN BACK YARD..ugh! Made having a cookout one of the few events at which one wonders what dog tastes like.
Response #185
By: sooz
Date: 3/12/02 7:01:31 AM
Bob's more than just a neighbor to us. He's a friend. A confidante. A drinking buddy. The guy that teaches your teenage son all the bad habits you don't want him to know, like how to go to internet porn sites undetected.
Oh, yes. He's a special neighbor, alright.
Response #186
By: rorschach
Date: 3/12/02 9:40:12 AM
I got a "special" neighbor too, nice enough guy, but he refuses to have his pooch shit in his own yard, instead he lets it roam the neighborhood and shit in everyone ELSES yard. and when I come outside while this canine shit generator is on the prowl he comes at me barking like as if *I* was in *HIS* yard instead of the other way around... (course the dog probably thinks the whole goddamned NEIGHBORHOOD is his yard since he has free run of the place!) He's been told numerous times to keep his shithound in his own back yard but he refuses. I'm about ready to kill the damned beast, gut it, and leave the entrails on his front door.... But I'm sure it would make living next door to him difficult.....
Response #187
By: bob
Date: 3/12/02 11:08:12 AM
sooz: well, i feel sorry for the kid....my mom didn't know how to use a computer, and my dad didn't notice anything. kids have to get away with some things, so.....of course, i didn't tell him how to sneak into the girls dorms, last summer. i do have my limits
Response #188
By: Zane T. Dark
Date: 3/12/02 2:11:33 PM
Shack,
Ya know what? Urinate into a big bucket...over a couple of days, and leave it in the sunlight. When Shitpuppy comes over, call him over and dump it on him. After about a week of the other dogs asking him who's bitch HE was...I think he'll decide it wasn't worth it.
Just a thought.
Zane The Hunn
Response #189
By: Seventh of Seven
Date: 3/12/02 2:36:49 PM
zane, that was really a beautiful idea, and one that only you could have invented.
i have nothing to add. that was perfection.
Response #190
By: WitchHazel
Date: 3/12/02 3:44:21 PM
Yes. PERFECT.
Do it!
Response #191
By: Zane T. Dark
Date: 3/12/02 9:41:30 PM
[bowing gracefully]
I do what I can, for as long as I can...or until the authorities show up...or the black helicopters.
Response #192
By: Roxanne
Date: 3/13/02 7:38:33 AM
Zane: You were just looking for *any* excuse to pee in the back yard.
Response #193
By: Roxanne
Date: 3/13/02 7:41:37 AM
Hey! Way to mix two topics!
Britney Spears *and* urine!
http://www.sky.com/skynews/article/0,,15410-10277492,00.html
Response #194
By: Gowan McGland
Date: 3/13/02 8:48:30 AM
The downside being that while you're collecting the urine, you have to have this bucket of urine in YOUR house.
Response #195
By: sooz
Date: 3/13/02 9:04:06 AM
My neighbor on the other side doesn't have obnoxious pets, but he has a wayward trash can. He parks it in front of his garage with the wheels such that every time the wind blows more than 10 mph, the thing is in my front yard. It takes him 3 days on the average to pick it up. Richie used to pick it up for him, until it landed in cat shit one day, and he got a handful.
And if this is the biggest problem I have with this neighbor, I figure I'm in good shape.
Response #196
By: Zane T. Dark
Date: 3/13/02 9:32:15 PM
Rocks:
Ah yes, that would be true, if indeed I felt I needed a reason. Which also comments on Gowan as well to the fact that he has much more class than I...probably steps out of the shower to take a leak as well. No Gowan, there would NEVER be a bucket of urine in my house, in my back yard..garage..flowerbed..perhaps.
Response #197
By: Zane T. Dark
Date: 3/13/02 9:54:47 PM
Also Rocks:
I take issue with the words 'brilliant singer' used next to her name. I know, I know, they're british...but just because the dog doesn't know that cat turds are not a food group doesn't make my gag reflex any less sensitive. Some things, like tuna in a foil pouch, Witchblade poseable figures, and buying extra fish for you aquarium screen saver for Micro$oft XP 'Plus!', just shouldn't be done.
Response #198
By: rorschach
Date: 3/14/02 9:49:02 AM
GAWD I love this guy.....
Zane where in hell have you been all this time? this place needed you.
Response #199
By: WitchHazel
Date: 3/15/02 1:58:31 AM
It did?!? ;-)
Response #200
By: Zane T. Dark
Date: 3/15/02 10:18:55 AM
I think ROR means it in terms of 'getting me off the street so I won't keep all this bottled up and resort to reloading my own cartidges in a Jodie-Foster-Pinup-Wallpapered timber shack muttering to myself and picking names out of a phonebook with a spike-knucked buck knife I bought on SAH's Knive Collector's Extravaganza'...kind of a public safety thing. But if I'm too much of a bother, I can always go back to talking to the fit-together furniture and my crayons.
Response #201
By: Zane T. Dark
Date: 3/15/02 10:28:24 AM
Hey...WHERE ARE MY CRAYONS!
Response #202
By: WitchHazel
Date: 3/16/02 10:42:03 PM
Here. Have mine. I like to share with fellow inmates.
Response #203
By: Zane T. Dark
Date: 3/17/02 1:48:42 AM
...errr...oh. Well thank you, I suppose. You can keep the red ones, I never eat the red ones.
Response #204
By: Roxanne
Date: 3/17/02 7:30:00 PM
Red ones taste better dipped in paste anyway.
Response #205
By: WitchHazel
Date: 3/17/02 10:36:42 PM
Well, that works out well, since I like to draw a lot of blood.
Response #206
By: Zane T. Dark
Date: 3/18/02 6:35:43 AM
Rocks:
I'm a purist, I never eat anything else with my Elmer's...except perhaps for a bit of Guinness. But then again, chasing it with a pint of Guinness, I'd eat Jen...errr...say, did you ever get that feeling you're about to cross that line between 'group-rude' and 'lockeroom-people-will-later-use-your-name-to-mean-callous-sexist-and-stupid-rude'
[Zane holds his hands above his head, skidding to a halt]
...well I never broke the tape. It's still there...
Response #207
By: Zane T. Dark
Date: 3/18/02 6:46:11 AM
Haze:
I dated a nurse once, worked for a hemotologist, hated needles; couldn't even get her to rake the yard.
Response #208
By: rorschach
Date: 3/18/02 9:52:06 AM
Go ahead, break the tape..... (you know they think it of you anyway... might as well get some milage out of it...)
Response #209
By: WitchHazel
Date: 3/18/02 3:10:47 PM
There will be NO TAPE in the Nunnery. I will simply NOT allow it!
Response #210
By: Seventh of Seven
Date: 3/18/02 5:08:44 PM
very nice segway zane, but i'm afraid the tape has been broken already.
--picking up remnants--
Response #211
By: Roxanne
Date: 3/19/02 9:01:20 AM
There may be tape, but 18 minutes of it will be erased.
Response #212
By: rorschach
Date: 3/19/02 11:03:46 AM
I got that but I am willing to bet some of the younger viewers didn't.....
Response #213
By: Zane T. Dark
Date: 3/19/02 6:52:37 PM
[sigh]
Yep...now I'm REALLY depressed. So there's only one thing left to do..
[slight pause]
Ah, much better. Every time I'm feeling really depressed, I just think of Morgan Fairchild passing a battleship on the john and I end up giggling so much I always feel better.
Zane The Self-Help
Response #214
By: WitchHazel
Date: 3/20/02 12:45:27 AM
Well THAT cured my depression RIGHT UP!
Response #215
By: LaraCigara
Date: 3/20/02 6:59:14 AM
...but I'm now constipated.
Response #216
By: Seventh of Seven
Date: 3/20/02 7:05:03 AM
*passes the ez cheeze*
Response #217
By: Zane T. Dark
Date: 3/20/02 11:38:06 AM
...hmmm, got any bagel chips?
Response #218
By: Gowan McGland
Date: 3/20/02 3:19:10 PM
Morgan Fairchild has moved completely out of the great social consciousness and there's a very good reason for that.
Response #219
By: Seventh of Seven
Date: 3/20/02 4:00:26 PM
i admit i have only the foggiest idea who morgan fairchild is. she was in dynasty, right?
Response #220
By: Da Sissop
Date: 3/20/02 7:26:05 PM
"This page was made because I love to watch Morgan! She is a very incredible looking women that I have loved for a very long time! She is a big time babe and deserves to be on a babe list. In every show I have seen her in she looks hot. She has one of the best faces in town and I wish her well from .......Stormcat." Morgan Fairchild Actress Gallery By Stormcat
Response #221
By: WitchHazel
Date: 3/20/02 10:24:36 PM
Wonder what she looks like NOW... (Gowan?)
Response #222
By: Gowan McGland
Date: 3/20/02 10:46:43 PM
What makes you think she looks any different? C'mon, plastic surgery can do WONDERS. The most recent I could find from an episode of Friends is here.
Btw, her real name is Patsy Ann McClenny and she was born on Feb 3, 1950 making her a spry 52.
Response #223
By: WitchHazel
Date: 3/21/02 12:46:19 AM
Damn. Just like Suzanne Somers, she is still a hotty.
BITCH!
Response #224
By: rorschach
Date: 3/21/02 10:31:02 AM
yep, it's amazing, some women age quite nicely, others go to hell in a handbasket, and the sad part about it is that when they are young, it's not all that easy to tell which will be which.... (I'm sure women think the same of men...)
there are a few older women I know that if circumstances were different they'd have to beat me with a stick to get me offa them.... and there are others that I look at and ask myself, were they that ugly as young women?
Response #225
By: sooz
Date: 3/21/02 3:23:40 PM
Because, after all... it's what's on the outside that counts.
Response #226
By: WitchHazel
Date: 3/21/02 4:14:27 PM
Can someone please beat Ror* with a stick and get him off me?
Response #227
By: LaraCigara
Date: 3/21/02 4:47:40 PM
ooooooooo, you don't know where that stick has been...
Response #228
By: Zane T. Dark
Date: 3/21/02 8:05:08 PM
Oh yes I do...that's why I'm holding it with a Playtex living glove. Keeps the hands looking young, and is a deterant for thumb-sucking.
Response #229
By: WitchHazel
Date: 3/21/02 10:38:38 PM
Ew.
Playtex living? Isn't that a brand of tampon? Okay, are we talking about corks or screws here?
Response #230
By: Seventh of Seven
Date: 3/22/02 5:08:28 AM
i don't know, but if i'd known the stick was going to be so popular, i would have kept it for myself.
Response #231
By: Zane T. Dark
Date: 3/22/02 7:07:48 AM
Haze:
I don't know, but I always thought the word corkscrew was funny as hell anyway, so I'm giggling in spite of myself.
SOS:
Or put it up for sale on Ebay...you know you would.
Response #232
By: bob
Date: 3/22/02 10:35:43 AM
sos, but people without sticks up their asses are much more pleasant to be around. i wish i would have known witch when this guy that had 4" x 4" up his ass worked here
Response #233
By: Zane T. Dark
Date: 3/22/02 1:13:00 PM
A 4x4?! Are we talking Subaru or Monster truck?
Zane The Just As Confused As Nigel
Response #234
By: Seventh of Seven
Date: 3/22/02 2:25:05 PM
hmm i saw that one time on the scrambled channel.
Response #235
By: WitchHazel
Date: 3/22/02 2:53:30 PM
You can tell who has sticks by the way they walk. If their nose is high in the air, that's a pretty sure-fire sign.
Oooh. Someone on eBay would snap that right up! I bet it's worth something. I mean, it's ART for crissakes!
Response #236
By: LaraCigara
Date: 3/22/02 5:03:14 PM
did you know they're paying the big bucks for breastmilk? 2200 an ounce. I've kicked my husband out and am renting a breastpump as we speak...oh, and selling my dirty panties too.
Response #237
By: Seventh of Seven
Date: 3/22/02 5:50:57 PM
speaking of breastpumps,
one of my friends recently had child and i happened to be going through her babies for dummies*TM book. it seems that the "cadillac of breastpumps" is something called a piston pump. basically it's a somewhat gentler version of what you would attach to the tasty end of a holstein, and it's made of stainless chrome.
ever since i read about it, i've been dying to actually see one of these things. my friend is too cheap to get one for herself, and i'm too modest a person to buy one for her. you wouldn't happen to have one on you, would you?
Response #238
By: Zane T. Dark
Date: 3/22/02 8:55:51 PM
Lara:
I hear they fetch a good sum on ebay...but I think they have this rule you have to wash them before shipping. And no, I'm not making that up...they had to make a RULE.
Response #239
By: sooz
Date: 3/23/02 10:23:13 AM
You can't just produce milk at will... you have to be near the lsat stages of pregnancy, or have been pregnant in the at least sort of recent past.
Response #240
By: LaraCigara
Date: 3/23/02 5:00:39 PM
I'm nursing a child currently.
Oddly enough, you can induce lactation...it can be done in the case of infant adoption. You have to start early, using, in fact, a breast pump and hormones. Sorry for the science break. I'm a horrible know-it-all.
Response #241
By: WitchHazel
Date: 3/23/02 6:02:48 PM
Hehehehe. So you mean, if I pumped long enough, I *could* get milk to come out my breasts? That's eenteresting.
Response #242
By: sooz
Date: 3/24/02 1:54:55 PM
Wow. I had no idea, Lara! Do you take hormones, inject 'em, what?
Response #243
By: LaraCigara
Date: 3/24/02 2:32:23 PM
I should know that...but I tend not to remember the details that I don't find interesting (bad lara). I'm certain I can find out though. I probably read it at hipmama or mothering mag.
Response #244
By: LaraCigara
Date: 3/24/02 2:43:17 PM
There used to be a thread at hipmama, but I found one of the articles I read at mothering: (bear with me...I don't know how to do this and it probably won't work)
http://www.mothering.com/12-0-0/html/12-4-0/12-4-bfadopted104.shtml
Response #245
By: Zane T. Dark
Date: 3/25/02 4:58:03 AM
....within the NEXT FEW WEEKS, milk appeared?! Now *that's* what I call a woman on a mission. I doff my hat to all the adoptive moms in the audience, but the ones that had to wear nipple vacuums 3 or 4 times a day...would you like a battleship named after you, or just a holiday?
Response #246
By: rorschach
Date: 3/26/02 10:04:08 AM
I never said that superficial appearance was everything, but it IS however a nice bonus. after all, which would you prefer to wake up looking at? be honest.
and I think the hormone in question is Oxytocin and it is available as a nasal spray nowadays if memory serves. oral ingestion does not work I think because it is a peptide and it is broken down in the gut and is not absorbed. used to it was only available as an injectable and that was a real pain in the ass (no pun intended)
Response #247
By: WitchHazel
Date: 3/26/02 10:27:20 AM
I guarantee that my nipples would produce more BLOOD than it would MILK, if I pumped it for a few WEEKS.
Response #248
By: Seventh of Seven
Date: 3/26/02 3:19:57 PM
hm? why is that? maybe it would produce antivenom.
Response #249
By: Zane T. Dark
Date: 3/26/02 5:02:02 PM
[Val Kilmer mode on]
"That reminds me, I had this dream where I'm standing on a pedestal in sun god robes and these poisonous nipples are nipping at my toes and massing crowd of suntanned female buttocks are all throwing little pickles at me.....why am I the only one that has that dream?"
Response #250
By: LaraCigara
Date: 3/26/02 9:56:18 PM
REAL GENIUS!!!!!!! He was my dream boy for years.
AH hahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Response #251
By: Zane T. Dark
Date: 3/27/02 6:13:42 AM
Mine too.
