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By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/19/01 1:26:56 PM
# Replies: 115
Gowan and I were in a discussion of food today (MY favorite topic, despite what you all think!), and I was wondering about your feelings on PREPARED FOODS.
Now, I realize that some of us, in our busy schedules, live MOSTLY on already-prepared foods. Others of us are a little more gastronomically inclined. Nonetheless, you would not be American, if you didn't occasionally have some Mac 'n Cheese, Cup o' Soup, or some OTHER form of prepackaged nutrition (or non-nutrition, in some cases).
My question is, what is your favorite prepackaged food?
Me?
I'd have to go with Top Ramen. First of all, I have to have two (one packet is not enough if I'm REALLY hungry). So, I'll have fun mixing and matching flavors. Sometimes I'll even add some parsley or chopped green onions. And, almost always, I'll add a beaten egg to the broth while it's cooking. Viola! In just MINUTES, you get GOURMET RAMEN!
Response #1
By: sooz
Date: 10/19/01 1:40:25 PM
I have a freaky thing about Ramen noodles. (Scroll, Bob and Gowan and Dapper Dan, you've heard this one.) I was so poor in college that for one meal I'd boil the noodles, and for another I'd heat water and use the flavor packet to make soup. I swore that once I wasn't broke again, I'd never eat the damn things. And I try not to... but sometimes Rico slips them into the Chinese food he makes.
Do fast food restaurants count? I like Arby's. But stuff in a package... I'm gonna hafta go with Marie Callendar's frozen foods.
But for breakfast, I LOVE instant oatmeal. Honest.
Response #2
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/19/01 1:52:20 PM
Sooz, I feel that way about anything with "Chef Boyardee" on the label. I choked that shit down as a kid. My mom served it ALL the time, when she was busy (which was every other day).
Can't say instant oatmeal does it for me. I'll occasionally have a power bar for breakfast, though (but that's usually too sweet for me).
Mmmm. Arby's. That's MY favorite fast food joint, too. I really don't go to many others, for health reasons. However, I do like Arby's and once in a great while, I also *love* a really good fish n' chips (a Pacific Northwest favorite).
Response #3
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 10/20/01 2:45:15 AM
The best ramen is Cup Soup (not cup O soup, just cupsoup). The only problem is that it comes in styrofoam cups, which are wrapped in shrink-wrap, and then packaged in cardboard. So you're eating cheap, but you can only recycle like a third of the packaging. Yes, I'm that kind of nerd.
The best of all packaged foods is LifeStream organic frozen blueberry waffles. Granola-head name, but ass-kicking satisfaction inside. They also come in wheat-free varieties, so you can wake up in the morning and get a hemp-flour frozen waffle out of the freezer and toast it and eat it.
Response #4
By: sooz
Date: 10/20/01 9:07:29 AM
Now, about that recycling thing.
In Austin, which is supposed to be a majorly Green city, we have the most rediculous recycling "program."
It's been proven over and over that we waste more energy and resources collecting and recycling the stuff than if we just threw it away regular-like. We have separate recycle trucks that come around on different days than the trash trucks, thus using TONS of fuel, manpower, machinery and whatnot. Then there's the separation down at the recycle place, and all the resources that go into the whole process. But really, it's the total wasted resources of the collection that get my goat.
I've refused to participate in this feel-good charade. All it does is make people FEEL like they're really making a difference. If we rode the bus for one week instead of driving, we'd do more for the environment than we would recycling a year's worth of beer and soda cans.
Response #5
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/20/01 1:46:45 PM
I won't buy overly "packaged" products. It's absolutely environmentally UNfriendly and it pisses me off. We are just a small family and we are garage-conscious and we STILL throw away SO MUCH every week. It's sickening.
Response #6
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/22/01 10:31:22 AM
This dude I work with says that him and his wife get into knock-down, drag-out fights when she tries to "cook". He prefers she make Hamburger Helper meals, instead of "this gourmet shit".
I really had to bite my tongue. I mean, WHO could eat Hamburger Helper EVERY NIGHT? I could see if you HAD to, but if you have a CHOICE?
That is just WRONG.
Response #7
By: bob
Date: 10/22/01 3:24:51 PM
a guy finds a woman who is a good cook, and enjoys it, why would he be complaining? i know this sounds incredibly sexist, but it really is not.
Response #8
By: sooz
Date: 10/22/01 3:33:48 PM
My wife is a GREAT cook.
Response #9
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/22/01 5:03:46 PM
So is MINE.
Response #10
By: Roxanne
Date: 10/23/01 9:44:26 AM
Me three!
Response #11
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/23/01 10:40:06 AM
Damn. There's a lot of wives with cooking skills out there.
Response #12
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/26/01 10:23:36 AM
Gowan gave me the best coconut-bread recipe. It's DELICIOUS. It has sour cream and brown sugar in it, which makes me droooooool.
If y'all want the recipe, you'll hafta mud-wrestle me for it.
Response #13
By: bob
Date: 10/26/01 11:56:47 AM
don't want the recipe, but i may have to try to get it anyway
Response #14
By: sooz
Date: 10/26/01 2:56:04 PM
I'm selling tickets.
Response #15
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/26/01 6:10:23 PM
Well, I need a challenger first. Bob doesn't count. I'd whip his ass.
Response #16
By: bob
Date: 10/28/01 10:30:07 AM
wow, i think i am in love.....hahahahaha
Response #17
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/29/01 8:09:58 AM
Sit.
Staaaay.
Now stop pulling on your leash, and only bark when I tell you!
Response #18
By: bob
Date: 10/29/01 3:42:31 PM
right, i am so good at following orders, hence working for myself
Response #19
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/30/01 1:09:24 PM
You seem to do just fine. Then again, I think the whip scares you...
Response #20
By: rorschach
Date: 10/30/01 1:27:01 PM
you mean it shouldn't?
Response #21
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/30/01 1:30:16 PM
Well, obviously I'm just doing my job.
Response #22
By: WitchHazel
Date: 11/14/01 3:38:51 PM
Planes are fallin' outta the sky right and left. I say we all get drunk.
Response #23
By: sooz
Date: 11/14/01 4:42:25 PM
Someone call that redheaded bartender.
Response #24
By: WitchHazel
Date: 11/14/01 5:49:31 PM
As long as he doesn't make me a "bloody nipple", I'm down.
Response #25
By: bob
Date: 11/15/01 11:06:18 AM
hahahahhaha
Response #26
By: WitchHazel
Date: 11/15/01 11:35:22 AM
I'd actually rather have a nice beer-buzz goin' on. No cocktails, just a cold one, sitting next to the fire... Did I tell you guys it's the third day of POURING RAIN in Seattle rain now. I haven't seen the sky in 72 hours. *glugg*
Response #27
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 11/15/01 5:53:58 PM
The sky made a quick appearance shortly before the sun went down (at 5:30PM), and it reminded me of the first time I visited Seattle.
I was across the street from Pike Place Market, an exceedingly busy place downtown, near the waterfront. It was November, and cold and gray and overcast. It had been raining for a couple of days, but that day the rain had stopped. Gray curds of almost-rain hung in the sky.
Lo and behold, however, a crack of sky shone through the clouds, just big enough for the sun to be directly visible. A shaft of beautiful life-giving light shone upon the Market. People stopped in their tracks, dazed for a moment. When they realized what was going on, they crowded the alleys and walkways between the buildings where they could get a clear view of the sky. We all stood there and watched the sun for about a minute and a half, until the crack closed again, sealing our experience against all direct light. Soon, life had returned to normal.
Response #28
By: WitchHazel
Date: 11/15/01 9:29:58 PM
That pretty much sums up my whole childhood here.
Response #29
By: WitchHazel
Date: 11/16/01 10:25:29 AM
I actually WASHED MY CAR today. When I told Gowan this, he asked "But isn't it raining today?" to which I replied "Did that ever stop a Seattlite? If it DID, they'd NEVER have a clean car!"
Actually, the rain subsided long enough for my hell commute to work today. I hope this is a drying trend!
Response #30
By: rorschach
Date: 11/16/01 10:48:20 AM
and you love seattle why again?
Response #31
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 11/16/01 3:07:20 PM
You lived in Clear Lake, didn't you, ror*? How about them hurricanes!
Response #32
By: WitchHazel
Date: 11/17/01 8:04:34 AM
See, Seattle gets its fair share of rain (but only the same annual percentage as San Fransisco, from what I've read), but here's what it does NOT get:
--snow (hardly ever)
--temperatures below freezing (only a couple of times a year, usually)
--temperatures above 90F in the summer (hardly ever)
--tornadoes
--hurricanes
--flash floods
We also have almost no:
--snakes
--roaches
--rodents
--bees
Okay, so we have our fair share of earthquakes. I'll give ya that. But all in all, we actually have a very MILD-tempered city. Not too much of this or that, except for grey skies. I'll take the grey skies if that gives me immense greenery, clean(er) air, and no heat.
But each of us have their own wants/needs. Those are MINE. ;-)
Response #33
By: sooz
Date: 11/17/01 12:35:54 PM
We had 7, count 'em 7, tornadoes touch down here in Austin the other day. It was a hell of a day.
Response #34
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 11/17/01 12:49:03 PM
On the down side, Seattle has brown recluse spiders and Mayor Paul Schell, but Schell is on his way out.
Response #35
By: Roxanne
Date: 11/18/01 7:22:41 PM
What? No COFFEE in Seattle?
Response #36
By: WitchHazel
Date: 11/18/01 7:51:51 PM
The day that Seattle is without coffee is the day that the world, as we know it, ends.
I did forget to mention that Seattle does have big ole gooey SLUGS! Yuuuuuuuuck! (And yes, spiders.)
Response #37
By: rorschach
Date: 11/20/01 10:03:29 AM
actually, never lived in clear lake, that was ralf aka rail gunn...
I live up on the north side/spring area (almost 80 miles from the coast....) but is plenty green around here... lots of pines and oaks. (where there isn't freshly laid concrete I might add unfortunately)you see deer and such on a regular basis around here. (saw five does just last week).
we haven't had a hurricaine in almost 20 years... we did have a tropical storm a couple months back that flooded a bunch of people out, course thats what happens when you live on the floor of an ancient shallow inland sea... but we don't have earthquakes, ever! I don't even know what I'd do if I was ever in one... to tell the truth. at least hurricanes you have a couple days worth of warning....
We have smog, but most cities do, maybe not as much but we aren't talking orders of magnitude differences either.... and pollution is the price for industrialization, SOMEBODY had to make the plastics used in your computer.... or the oil in your car, or the plastic fibers in your clothes, or the fuel oil running the generator that makes your electricity, ad infititum. Houston has something like 68% of the gasoline refining capacity of the United States all by itself. I don't EVEN KNOW what the percentage is of petrochemicals but I'd bet it was well over 50%.
we DO have hot summers as most of us know... but we might get a week or two worth of freezing weather a year, the local birds get more use out of my fireplace than I do.... and we get LOTS of sunshine... only the rio grande valley and southern florida have longer growing seasons. (which I curse every time it is time to mow!)
And there is lots of high tech work in many different feilds so you are rarely out of work for long, if the energy companies are busted, usually compaq is booming or vice versa.... so you've always got a fall back position.
I rather like Houston....
Response #38
By: WitchHazel
Date: 11/20/01 10:40:18 AM
It's important to enjoy where you live. I mean YOU have to live there, right? There are good and bad characteristics of every single city in the world. I have YET to find a completely perfect and ideal city.
Seattle is a great hub for local artists, hippies, and liberals. It is also the least-religious city in America (less than 5% of state residents are church goers). It also has an extremely large high-tech community (with Microsoft, Nintendo, Adobe, Boeing, and many others located here). All of those characterists appeal to MY tastes.
I was in Portland, Oregon this past weekend and it occurred to me that Portland is much more culturally diverse than Seattle (even though it is smaller). For example, we went to a Russian nightclub to see my friend bellydance. I did not even know a "Russian nightclub" existed! We could have sworn we'd been teleported straight to Moscow. It was a great cultural experience. And last year, I went to a huge Persian New Year celebration (about a thousand people there). I also went to a German grocery store -- all German and eastern European goods. Yummy!
I honestly don't have those experiences much in Seattle, outside of the occasional Arabic restaurant (where friends bellydance) or the formal Chinatown. We do have CULTURE, it's just mainly sub-American culture. I miss a WORLD-culture environment.
Response #39
By: sooz
Date: 11/20/01 12:38:58 PM
Richie says if living in Austin hadn't worked out, his second choice was San Francisco. He says they're both hippie-type music towns with fabulous hills and climate, which is right up his alley.
Response #40
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 11/20/01 5:04:29 PM
Hmm. I think I've been to that German grocery in Portland. Was it called Edelweiss? Did they have my favorite candy in the whole world, Scho-Ka-Kola?
Response #41
By: WitchHazel
Date: 11/20/01 8:38:57 PM
Edelweiss is another one (next door to The Berlin Inn, where we had breakfast). I went to a brand new one in Beaverton (suburb of Portland) because my friend said it was new and bigger.
Scho-Ka-Kola!!!!!!!!!! Sehr fein.
Response #42
By: Da Sissop
Date: 11/21/01 7:54:49 PM
Okay, I'm convinced. Portland is the next city I need to visit.
Response #43
By: WitchHazel
Date: 11/22/01 1:55:50 PM
You'd love it. It's a fabulous city! And Homer and I can drive down and visit you! And I know all the hot spots! (Another good girlfriend lives THERE!)
Response #44
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 11/22/01 2:43:54 PM
Damn, now I want to go to Waddle's. Thanksgiving in a diner.
Response #45
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 11/23/01 10:46:21 PM
(Waddle's being the prototype by which all other roadside diners must be compared, located in Jantzen Beach, Portland.)
Response #46
By: WitchHazel
Date: 11/24/01 10:30:19 AM
Yes, Waddle's Coffee Shop. Best place in town!
Response #47
By: bob
Date: 11/26/01 8:32:59 AM
damn witch, i am looking for just one "good dirlfriend", you seem to have so many. life is no fair
Response #48
By: sooz
Date: 11/26/01 10:47:33 AM
I've never had a dirlfriend either, or even been one. Are they fun?
Response #49
By: WitchHazel
Date: 11/26/01 10:47:51 AM
Yes, I have good girlfriends located all over the place. If you want one of MINE, all you have to do is ASK.
Oh wait, but you said "dirlfriend". Nevermind, then. I don't have any of those.
Response #50
By: bob
Date: 11/26/01 11:30:13 AM
gamn, i misseg that one by two keys. i am detting worse ang worse
Response #51
By: sooz
Date: 11/26/01 12:18:43 PM
Old age, dear. It's hell.
Response #52
By: WitchHazel
Date: 11/26/01 4:37:43 PM
Change of topic...
What's everyone's favorite holiday drink?
(I don't know what that has to do with dirlfriends, but something made me ask this question.)
Response #53
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 11/26/01 9:29:14 PM
Oregon Chai's Chai Nog. Brandy optional.
Response #54
By: WitchHazel
Date: 11/27/01 8:54:06 AM
Ooooh. Chai Nog!
Response #55
By: bob
Date: 11/27/01 9:05:14 AM
why drink good drinks only on holidays. i just drink what i always drink.
Response #56
By: sooz
Date: 11/27/01 11:32:58 AM
I like to save certain food and drink for certain holidays. It makes it more special, or something. Kinda like having a tree up... it wouldn't be fun if it was there all year long.
I'm not nearly as exotic as Homer... I just like eggnog.
Response #57
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 11/27/01 2:14:42 PM
Oh, and one of the housemates has introduced me to the wonders of port. It's like getting a buzz off candy.
Response #58
By: sooz
Date: 11/27/01 4:33:50 PM
Ooo, port. Yum yum yum.
Response #59
By: Da Sissop
Date: 11/27/01 8:07:13 PM
Sierra Nevada Celebration Ale.
Response #60
By: Seventh of Seven
Date: 11/28/01 6:35:05 AM
buttermilk. it feels just like pepto going down, but it's more nutritous.
Response #61
By: WitchHazel
Date: 11/28/01 8:24:13 AM
I like Goldschlaeger. (Commence LAUGHING.) I also love a good spiced German wine, hot, steaming, in a mug. Mmmmm.
And I do like the various Christmas ales that come out, as well.
And I just bought a bottle of Port yesterday!
Response #62
By: Gowan McGland
Date: 11/28/01 11:55:34 AM
Glog.
Response #63
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 11/29/01 1:38:26 AM
I have to admit: I'm out of drugs. I mean, it takes me two espressos to get a buzz, and that's if I haven't eaten in the past six hours. Sugar only leads to a rather quick crash. Alcohol really only 'works' in social situations for me, and, like the green stuff, is expensive and makes it rather more difficult to be productive.
How am I supposed to get through this, my fifth winter in Seattle? All my stand-bys have ceased standing by!
Maybe I should start on Prozac and Scientology.
Response #64
By: sooz
Date: 11/29/01 5:53:09 AM
There's alwas the idea of just being you, and not enhancing that with anything. Maybe "you" is quite wonderful indeed.
Response #65
By: bob
Date: 11/29/01 12:00:06 PM
it is like i have always said, caffine is a gateway drug.
Response #66
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 11/30/01 1:40:52 AM
It's not a question of being me, it's a question of living without direct sunlight for weeks at a time.
Response #67
By: WitchHazel
Date: 11/30/01 6:50:50 PM
I know that curse. I am much happier being ME in balmy Georgia. Did I mention that I might just STAY here?
Response #68
By: Roxanne
Date: 11/30/01 8:24:57 PM
Witchy! I'm right next door to Georgia! Come see me!!
Homer, buy a sun lamp!
Response #69
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 12/1/01 1:59:16 AM
That reminds me of a tale, which I will now regale.
My birthday was the 25th of November, but about mid-month my mom calls to say she's got my present, and would I like her to send it, because I had talked about going to Houston for what we call Thanksmas (a holiday created for my benefit which encompasses the two holidays and the space in between). I said, sure, send it this way. I didn't think I'd be leaving town at all this winter.
So every now and then I hear from my parents, and my mom always asks if the package has arrived. No, it hasn't, I'll let you know when it does. The post office here hates me, and always makes my mail take three times longer than it should.
Thanksgiving comes and goes, my birthday comes and goes, and finally, just two days ago, the package arrived!
In the interim, I'd had a sinus infection that forced me to sit around the house for a week and a half (and miss the Zsu Zsu's Petals show). I was terrifically stir crazy, and I entertained the notion of just showing up in Houston simply because it's not gray and rainy there. I'm currently profoundly frustrated about being here.
And what was in the package? A desk lamp, with a full-spectrum bulb! My mom, ever thoughtful, had sent me some UV rays from Houston. There was only one problem: The bulb was burned out.
Response #70
By: WitchHazel
Date: 12/2/01 5:52:51 PM
Today, I was was literally in SHORTS and a T-SHIRT, walking along the Savannah River eating a snow cone. HELLO!?!?! It's December!!!
(Did I mention I might stay here?!?!)
And Roxy, I had no idea you were so close! Where exactly?
Response #71
By: Roxanne
Date: 12/2/01 6:28:51 PM
Huntsville.
The one in Alabama with the rocket scientists. Not the one in Texas with the criminals.
Response #72
By: Gowan McGland
Date: 12/3/01 10:06:53 AM
There's a COLLEGE in the one in Texas, too, ya know.
Response #73
By: bob
Date: 12/3/01 10:51:06 AM
come on gowan, it is not that much of a college. they have a college wide attendance policy. you know, miss three days drop one letter grade...three more, one more grade...etc. this is precisely why my brother failed out of that one.
Response #74
By: rorschach
Date: 12/3/01 11:44:42 AM
hehe... Ol' SHSU.....
ya know.. Ralf lives over in that neck of the woods too.....(somewhere near atlanta, north side I think..)
don'tcha just love the south? wait til summer tho..... you may change your mind when you have three straight months of 98+ with no rain scheduled for another four....
Response #75
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 12/3/01 12:49:34 PM
Winter in GA. Summer in WA.
Response #76
By: WitchHazel
Date: 12/3/01 11:07:30 PM
That's EXACTLY what *I* was thinking Homer!
Response #77
By: LaraCigara
Date: 3/17/02 2:00:21 PM
It's a sunny day in bellingham...
Response #78
By: WitchHazel
Date: 3/17/02 10:37:47 PM
Yeah, after a day of SNOW! :-) (Typical WA spring weather)
Hey guys, this is my girlie, Lara. You can pet her; she only bites sometimes.
Response #79
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 3/17/02 10:54:15 PM
Sometimes a cigara is just a cigara. And sometimes not.
Response #80
By: Zane T. Dark
Date: 3/18/02 5:55:12 AM
Haze:
Well, like many other jungle reptiles, I am brightly colored and leave a horrid taste in the mouth when frightened...so if I'm to be bitten, it has to be quickly and without warning. Hi, Laura.
Homey:
Yea, sometimes it's a butt, so be careful with the cigar jokes will ya? I mean, she just got here...let's give a semblence of taste and style before she finds out the truth.
Response #81
By: rorschach
Date: 3/18/02 9:56:42 AM
for Homey...that WAS taste and style... but nobody said it had to be GOOD taste..... (and "Good" is relative anyway....)
Welcome Lara, almost all of the animals in the zoo make a lot of noise, but most are pretty tame.
Response #82
By: bob
Date: 3/18/02 12:30:56 PM
zane: perhaps she came in here for the lack of taste...surely she has hread stories.
laura: hi, welcome to the nut house
Response #83
By: WitchHazel
Date: 3/18/02 3:11:56 PM
Lara *is* the nut house. (Trust me on this one.)
Response #84
By: Zane T. Dark
Date: 3/18/02 3:57:15 PM
Bob:
Point taken.
Response #85
By: Zane T. Dark
Date: 3/18/02 4:09:46 PM
Here's something that I'd love to do, but I really don't know if...scratch that...I know there is NO way I could do this with a straight face...none whatsoever. If anyone does do this, you are required to tape it and share it with the rest of us. By reading any further, you are loosely bound by the power of my consenants to fulfill at least THAT small request. I thought about doing this in a computer store...that would be best, but ordering a computer over the phone like this may be the only way I can pull it off.
So first, I tentitively approach the salesman:
"Err, hi. I'm looking for a computer. I really need one but I don't know where to start."
Steve:
"Dude you wanna get a Dell?"
"I dunno, how much are they?"
Steve:
"How much do you have to spend, that really is a good starting place."
"Hmmm, about twelve hundred or so...that's about my max. I'd like to get a scanner as well; like one of those ones that scans negatives."
Steve
"Ok....a negative scanner is do-able, how about.."
"...oh yea, and I need a really big screen...like 24 inches at least. Nice and wide...really wide. Ya know?"
Steve:
"Actually, that alone will cost yo..."
"..oh yea, and a cordless keyboard and mouse, you know, so you can like sit in bed and type stuff. Say, do those cordless things work through plastic? Like a shower curtain or cellophane?"
Steve:
"I suppose so, most of them use radio frequency and not infared to.."
"...I heard windows xp comes with voice control so you don't even have to type. Is that true? Using that, could I like type without even using my hands...if I was busy with other stuff, ya know?"
Steve:
"Perhaps if I knew what you were buying a computer for I'd know what to suggest."
"Oh sure, see I plan to be downloading an enormous amount of porn and jerking off to it. So I need something with some speed, but also...[lowering voice to conspiritorial tone for effect]...I bought some wireless cameras and mounted them in my upstairs nei...hey do they make those keyboard skins anymore. Those looked great, they had like an ice cream cone on the ad and it withstood that. I figure, heck, my load isn't even *half* that size so I'm covered, if you'll pardon the pun."
...you see, at this point, there is NO WAY I could keep a straight face, and this is the critical point because in order to get a REALLY uncomfortable reaction, you GOTTA appear serious as a heartattack. Anyone up to it? Adding in comments like:
"I heard this gal on the internet came up with a monitor-mounted lotion dispenser and a tissue box with lemon-scented wipes in it called 'Come Clean' that mounts with Velcro to the side of the monitor..."
...or something like that would be extra, and entirely up to the perp of course.
Response #86
By: Seventh of Seven
Date: 3/18/02 5:13:54 PM
zane it sounds wonderful, but i'm afraid you already broke the tape once--there is nothing left to break!
Response #87
By: Roxanne
Date: 3/19/02 9:02:07 AM
I don't know why Playboy or Hustler hasn't joined forces with a computer company to market a "Just for Porn" Computer package.
Response #88
By: rorschach
Date: 3/19/02 11:04:58 AM
zane, I thought I was the crude one here.... but I am forced to defer to the master.....
Response #89
By: LaraCigara
Date: 3/19/02 3:00:10 PM
Hmm I can see you have cigar envy. I'll just chalk it up and move on.
Is there a computer package for internet sex WORKERS?
I'm strictly volunteer at this point, but I HAVE had to invest in a natural key board. What say we develope a mouse that you work with your foot, like a sewing machine treadle?
Response #90
By: Zane T. Dark
Date: 3/19/02 6:18:54 PM
Shack-0-Rama:
I'm am NOT crude....my essence has been retrieved from the bottom of the distilling tower of life. I am spiritual road tar...which I might point out is very useful if not difficult to remove from your shoes.
Laura:
If you happen to get CTS in your feet and ankles...do you end up having to wear braces and walk like Herman Munster?
Response #91
By: Zane T. Dark
Date: 3/19/02 6:31:15 PM
Yep, there SHOULD be a computer specifically for downloaders of porn..as a matter of fact, I saw somthing on TDC that was VERY interesting. It was a type of gel, that is formed in a sheet. It looks kind of like a thin strip of solid rubber cement, and when the put electrodes on both ends and stretch it, a current is produced. Now since this was the discovery channel, they showed them putting in the boot heels of military troops so they could generate electricity while they walked for thier desert-storm palm pilots or whatever it is they need electricity for...and when they mention that it works the other way, they chalk up those uses to making artificial muscles for people who need reconstructive surgery. It ends up being an electric muscle. But I know it'll only be a matter of time before some poor sap is found in his one-bedroom apartment, genitals hooked up to his computer running the Cyber-Siphon (tm) software...stone cold dead from, of all things, dehydration.
...cringe if you want, but it'll happen..mark my words.
Response #92
By: WitchHazel
Date: 3/20/02 12:46:03 AM
I'm cringing. But I do like the idea of foot-clicking. It would save the hands for... er... OTHER things.
And her name is Lara. Not LAURA. (Please ditch the "u"!)
Response #93
By: LaraCigara
Date: 3/20/02 7:00:37 AM
Mr. Dark, my muscles are so atrophied from sitting at the computer that I can't walk NOW.
Meez Witch...BOTH hands free? Hmmmmm...
Response #94
By: rorschach
Date: 3/20/02 10:03:48 AM
so tell me about this volunteer work you do lara..... Where would one find such works?
Response #95
By: Zane T. Dark
Date: 3/20/02 11:38:46 AM
You see, now this is an example of an untapped customer base. Not only classes on 'footboarding', but also products specifically designed for the task. Hey, this is how Bills are made.
Response #96
By: LaraCigara
Date: 3/20/02 1:06:48 PM
Well, R, you hang around yahoo chat in married but flirting and buddhist chat (go figure). Apparently my charitable work doesn't earn me any community service credits, the bastards.
Response #97
By: Gowan McGland
Date: 3/20/02 3:20:03 PM
There are cybersexual devices already available, I'm sure.
Also, a character almost died from much that same type of accident in the movie Brainstorm with Christopher Walken and Natalie Wood.
I also believe there are already various different "mouse-like" devices for people who are differently abled, as they say. Hawking and Chris Reeve use computers and they don't have the use of their hands. I can't imagine there aren't foot mice or something similar.
Response #98
By: Seventh of Seven
Date: 3/20/02 4:01:46 PM
i believe they use a mouth joystick, don't they?
yes, the joys of cyber porn.
Response #99
By: Da Sissop
Date: 3/20/02 7:36:06 PM
The worst cybersex transcript ever...
[SHawking3756] Okay, now I am unbuttoning your shirt with my robotic claw...
[CReeves4299] ...my assistant is blowing in your ear....
Response #100
By: LaraCigara
Date: 3/20/02 11:26:31 PM
You see? There just isn't any really good porn for the differently abled. I see a market...
Response #101
By: WitchHazel
Date: 3/21/02 12:47:03 AM
I nearly spewed water all over when I read Fang's "worst transcript". Christ.
For fun, I went to "Married But Flirting" for a whole ten seconds. Within those ten seconds, three people opened a private chat box with me and one guy claimed an 11-inch member. Is there any way to VIEW chat rooms but not participate? I just think it's funny to see people interact on the Web. I mean, that's why I'm HERE, right?
And what does this have to do with differently abled cyberporn? Um...NOTHING?
Response #102
By: LaraCigara
Date: 3/21/02 1:09:27 AM
Yeah...it pretty much sucks. I was in buddhist chat. I'm not saying they were morons, but the talk was moronic. Sigh.
Response #103
By: Roxanne
Date: 3/21/02 6:54:36 AM
What about the "Married Buddhists But Flirting" chatroom? Seems there might be some nice people in there, no?
Response #104
By: Seventh of Seven
Date: 3/21/02 7:26:25 AM
[Chandralevy] Aummmmmmmmmmmmm Aummmmmmmmmm
[Enl8tnd 1] Aummmmmmmmmmmmmm Aum Aum Aum
[Chandralevy] AUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM AUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUM
Response #105
By: LaraCigara
Date: 3/21/02 8:36:09 AM
You two are ON FIRE!
ermm...is there really a room like that? Off to check...
Response #106
By: WitchHazel
Date: 3/21/02 4:17:01 PM
Damn! I wanna piece of THAT action!!!
Response #107
By: Zane T. Dark
Date: 3/21/02 8:10:14 PM
Me too...slid right out of my chair on that one.
Response #108
By: WitchHazel
Date: 3/21/02 10:40:18 PM
Zzzzzzz...uhhhh? HUH?
Oops. What? Did I miss the orgasm?
Response #109
By: Zane T. Dark
Date: 3/22/02 7:09:25 AM
Why not, I always miss them...the way one misses Ben And Jerry's New York Super Fudge Chunk even after just finishing a pint.
Response #110
By: Seventh of Seven
Date: 3/22/02 7:55:33 AM
yes i understand..you belch and then you lick the rim a little until all you can taste is the package instead of the fudge and then you toss it and see if there is any left, and if there isn't, you nibble on whatever meatloaf happens to be leftover.
i'm crossing the finish line and taking the tape with me!
Response #111
By: Zane T. Dark
Date: 3/22/02 1:13:58 PM
Ok, no more orgasm/chocolate ice cream analogies for SOS...at least until he catches his breath.
Response #112
By: WitchHazel
Date: 3/22/02 2:55:07 PM
...or finishes his orgasm.
Response #113
By: Seventh of Seven
Date: 3/22/02 5:53:56 PM
heh, no more meatloaf for me. i put waaay to much ketchup on that.
*burp*
Response #114
By: WitchHazel
Date: 3/23/02 6:05:00 PM
Now that is just WRONG!
Response #115
By: bob
Date: 3/25/02 10:05:24 AM
3.7