|  |
|
| |
By: Da Sissop
Date: 2/19/98 9:25:27 PM
# Replies: 20
Would any sane human *really* ever ask their doctor about these prescription drugs advertised on television?
"Ask your doctor about Zoltarflex. Common side effects include loss of appetite, night blindness, diarrhea, partial paralysis, vomiting blood, and smelly yellowish fluid oozing from the eye sockets."
Response #1
By: sooz
Date: 2/19/98 11:13:51 PM
Dang, and I WAS still eating my oatmeal.
I'm a medical transcriptionist. This means the doctors ramble into a little microcassette recorder their musings on each patient, and I try to translate the information into something I can understand, and then I type it up.
It really does happen. "The patient requests to switch from Piddleocemia to Urineless, as he suspects the former is less effective than the latter in controlling his nocturia." Sometimes the doc will do it, sometimes he/she won't.
Usually, the just prescribe whatever drug the rep with the best hair/coolest goodies/nicest ass is pushing that week.
Response #2
By: Katt
Date: 2/19/98 11:38:05 PM
is that why so many people are on prozac. they prolly went in to complain of heart burn or something. . .
hmmm. . .
Response #3
By: Zane T. Dark
Date: 2/20/98 7:17:04 AM
My doctor put me on premarin for my butt pain...now it only flares up once a month...
Response #4
By: rorschach
Date: 2/20/98 8:10:15 AM
you DO know thats made from horse piss don't you?
Response #5
By: Jay
Date: 2/20/98 10:59:29 AM
on A&E or some such cable channel - a full hour of sponataneous human combustion stories - best fake graphic the 32 year old retarded chick with flames spraying from her mouth and out of her belly....best "real" graphic - a picture of a puddle of goo on the chair and the smoldering legs with the shoes still on the feet still standing infront of the TV....
...and the doctor said it could be acid reflux syndrome
Response #6
By: Cleotis
Date: 2/22/98 11:41:40 AM
...Or maybe Taco Bell reintroduced the "Wild Menu"...
Response #7
By: Ralf
Date: 2/23/98 6:19:51 PM
I actually asked my doctor about Claritin one time. It's a 24-hour decongestant.
It worked great: I saw flowers, smiling women, hot air baloons, and slow-motion dogs running through fields of green. For 24 hours.
Response #8
By: Da Sissop
Date: 2/23/98 8:02:14 PM
"The most commonly reported side effects are hallucinations and dementia."
Response #9
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 2/24/98 5:42:33 AM
Recommended solutions: TURN OFF YOUR TV.
Response #10
By: rorschach
Date: 2/24/98 12:07:23 PM
yeah, when I first saw those tv commercials I thought to myself...now, why in hell do they not say what it DOES? course then I heard about the FDA restrictions on advertising. but GEEZ, don't you think they could at least give you a HINT? what if the damned thing was for PMS or something? dont you think a bunch of guys would be embarrassed as hell for asking? or what if it was for prostate problems? same for women.... some advert agency needs to be nuked...
Response #11
By: Gowan McGland
Date: 2/25/98 10:44:54 PM
I have two new favorite commercials. (Yeah, I know that's almost a sick concept.)
My runner-up is the new Jack-in-the-Box commercial for the Spicy Crispy Chicken Sandwich. They have all these runway models coming down the, uhm, er, runway and dancing around. They pull away from the teevee at the end and show Jack watching this commercial while a croney dances. Jack sez, "You are SOOOO fired."
My FAVORITE commercial right now is the new Sprite commercial. One of those "Image is Nothing. Taste is Everything. Obey Your Thirst." commercials. It starts out as a Sunny Delight type beverage parody. However, as everyone is happily drinking their orangy citrusy beverage, the logo jumps off the container and start stalking the aforementioned happy family. The children get away, but Mom...
Anyway. Now you know how empty my life is.
Response #12
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 2/26/98 5:59:15 AM
There's a lot of talk about just those ads in Adbusters and other media studies sorts of publications.
There's no way left to shock us, so the advertisers let us 'in' on their little scams. Only we're still bombarded by the ad. If image really is nothing, then WHY AM I SEEING A SPRITE AD??
Response #13
By: sooz
Date: 2/26/98 6:19:57 PM
I just wanna snobbishly say that, "Back in the day," as some of you may remember, I went for about 5 years without owning a TV. We neither wanted or needed one.
My favorite commercial is on the radio, though... It's Cheech Marin doing poetry for Taco Cabana, accompanied by a bongo.
Response #14
By: Mycroft
Date: 2/26/98 8:16:22 PM
Claritin... Wheee... I have about six packages of it right now, from my doctor. I'm supposed to be taking it, but the entire reason I went to him was to get cleared to go back to work. (pink-eye is most contagious among small children and computer geeks) If I take the stuff to help my allergies and allow my body to finish off the drug, I can't work.... So, I carry the stuff around, in case I wan't to dope anybody's drink.
Response #15
By: Shadow Sprite
Date: 2/27/98 8:25:31 AM
Well, that what you get for using worsteshire sause as an embalming liquid... :)
Response #16
By: Ralf
Date: 2/27/98 11:11:23 AM
"...and it tastes great on pancakes too! New Lea And Perrins Fat-Free Embalming Fluid!"
[strobing light effect; cut to--]
[Mrs. Butterworth floating face down in a vat of black liquid; cue musical sting; fade out]
Response #17
By: Shadow Sprite
Date: 2/28/98 9:42:21 AM
Aunt Jamima? Well, Ain't Ja Daddy, neither!
Response #18
By: Loki
Date: 3/18/98 11:41:29 AM
Mycroft is really fun to watch on Claratin. He gets transported to happy google anime land. The commercial is, to all reports, truth in advertising because the drug TAKES YOU THERE. Apparently it's great of allergies, if you can tolerate having your brain flooded with saccharine, sunshine and lollypops. It has the unfortunate tendency to make Mycroft break out into song though. Usually "Cthulhu loves the little children" or "Lee-Harvey was a friend of mine" or, on the rare occasion that reality intrudes into his life as the After School Special of the Elder Gods, the "Dradle" song from Southpark. Massively entertaining, as was convincing him that small globs of dyed latex were really Lee press-on Stigmata.
Response #19
By: Ralf
Date: 3/18/98 6:14:30 PM
"Springtime, for Hitler, in Germany..."
Response #20
By: Mycroft
Date: 3/20/98 4:28:06 AM
Yess, I sing that one too, but I don't know mroe than... "Springtime for Hitler, and Germany... Win-ter, for Poland, and France..." And that it's in a goofy counter-intuitive minor key.