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By: Roxanne
Date: 8/7/00 5:49:46 AM
# Replies: 49
What is up with commercials these days? Are they so desperate to compete with the remote control that they are just getting totally absurd? Or is it they figure everyone is channel surfing once the commercials come on, so what the hell, no one is watching anyway?
Case in point, the new Charmin toilet paper commercial that shows a cartoon bear doing what bears do in the woods. Sure, I can appreciate how clever it is supposed to be; but on the other hand, "Eeuuww!"
Anybody else seen any commercials that just made you cringe?
Response #1
By: Ralf
Date: 8/7/00 6:30:21 AM
I had pretty much the same reaction:
"Ohmigod! There's a cartoon bear taking a shit on TV!"
As far as toilet paper goes, they pretty much said everything there is to say about it in 1960 or so, just before Mr.Whipple's fetish became nationally known. After that it was just "what colors coordinate with my towels?"
On one hand I'm appalled at all the cartoon characters associated with bumwipe (what IS it with those quilting ladies?? Don't they KNOW people are gonna wipe their asses with their quilt??!), but on the other I'm kind of worried... it COULD go the way of denture commercials, where for decades they'd show nice clean pearls or blocks of tarnished white material.
Now they actually show slimey, disgusting dentures bubbling around in blue/green miracle fluid, particles of food magically whisked away! Yuck!
Response #2
By: Da Sissop
Date: 8/7/00 11:24:38 AM
"We're here in the HyperMart today asking ordinary shoppers to TAKE THE CHARMIN CHALLENGE...."
Response #3
By: Gowan McGland
Date: 8/7/00 3:07:52 PM
How about the deliberately bad Discover Channel commercials?
"Hello, mosquito!"
"Hello, mosquito!"
Response #4
By: Roxanne
Date: 8/7/00 3:42:26 PM
The "quilting fairies" (or are they technically "sprites"?) also have the commercial about their toilet paper not leaving any lint behind. Like I didn't have *enough* obsessive-compulsive disorders in my life! Now I have to check for lint, too?
Response #5
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 8/7/00 6:30:10 PM
The most disturbing ad I've seen of late is the one where there are a bunch of guys playing polo in their SUVs on top of a cliff. It's wrong on SOOOOOO many levels.
Response #6
By: Ralf
Date: 8/8/00 5:14:21 AM
SUV ads in general are pretty disgusting. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we get the point: you can drive over mountains and stuff. Escape your life. Go where no man has gone before. Whatever.
There was an interesting article in the New York Times a Sunday or two ago written by the guy who INVENTED the SUV. He was the engineer at Kaiser-Jeep when AMC bought them, and was charged with making the Jeep vehicles more sexy.
At the time they were a line of klunky truck-like vehicles with harsh suspensions. Jeeps sold primarily to farmers and outdoorsmen.
So what he did was take the Wagoneer, the closest thing to a station wagon in the Jeep line, and softened its suspension. Added air conditioning and nice seats. Changed the marketing to appeal more to families. When THAT started to sell a little, he used the interest generated as proof-of-concept for the Cherokee, and had THAT built.
25 years later he's appalled at how BIG these vehicles are. His vision for SUV's was always small, nimble, and fuel efficient. The very idea of a 6000 pound family vehicle is counter to everything Jeep stood for at the time, and he's appealing to Chrysler to start another revolution: smaller, better vehicles that are still appealing to the faux-offroad set.
Stop the madness!
Response #7
By: sooz
Date: 8/8/00 8:42:08 AM
I want a Suburban.
Yeah, I know, I'm part of the Evil Empire. But hear me out.
We have a band. We have a 3-person family. We need room to haul all the music equipment and the people to Ohio, or Virginia, or Washington State, or San Antonio, or whatever, plus luggage. And I'm really, really tired of being sneered at for needing a bigger vehicle.
THank you. I have vented.
Response #8
By: Gowan McGland
Date: 8/8/00 8:48:50 AM
As long as you don't want an Expedition.
You might as well get yourself an eighteen-wheeler and save on fuel.
Besides, you have a legitimate reason for needing a large vehicle. Most people just buy them to have them. Just like people who get four-wheel drive in their truck and never off-road or tow anything.
Response #9
By: sooz
Date: 8/8/00 4:51:45 PM
I don't wanna off-road. You know what I'd really, REALLY like? a station wagon. But who makes a full-size one? Not Taurus, there's is too small.
Response #10
By: Roxanne
Date: 8/8/00 8:39:00 PM
We rented an Astro Van for our big ass vacation and it was quite lovely. Unlike an SUV, the Astro is damn near a full conversion van and is built on a truck frame which makes it somewhat safer. It was delightfully spacious and actually fun to drive. It didn't drive like a van at all.
Response #11
By: Ralf
Date: 8/9/00 5:43:55 AM
Instead of a Suburban, buy *two* PT Cruisers. You'll haul as much stuff, save gas, and have enough left over to buy the band dinner.
Response #12
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 8/9/00 8:27:22 PM
Response #13
By: sooz
Date: 8/10/00 7:41:44 AM
I'd give my left nut... no, wait... well, something... to have a Vanagon.
Response #14
By: Roxanne
Date: 8/10/00 12:35:52 PM
If it was stolen, it would be a Vanagone.
Sorry. (I told y'all I never have any good ideas!)
Response #15
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 8/17/00 9:58:53 PM
I can look down my block and see at least five Vanagons, mine included. It gives me a happy feeling inside.
Response #16
By: Roxanne
Date: 3/8/01 9:52:31 AM
Okay, there's another disgusting and unnecessary commercial airing these days that has a very high "eeeuuuuwww!" factor.
The feminine product ad that features a man *playing with tampons*!!
What on earth is the purpose of such an ad? Do men have some dark secret life where they go through their wives' bathroom cabinets and open all of her feminine products out of sheer curiosity?
I could see a young child doing something like that, but grown men?
Unbelievable.
Your comments are welcomed!
Response #17
By: sooz
Date: 3/8/01 12:42:51 PM
I really abhor ANY ads regarding genital hygiene (male or female). While I apreciate capitalism at its finest, no matter how tastefully done the commercials are, they still make me wanna leave the room.
Response #18
By: Da Sissop
Date: 3/8/01 3:37:04 PM
I haven't seen the ad in question, but I know men could do ads for some feminine products. A guy I used to work with at American General recounted a tale of his hemorrhoid surgery, and how his doctor told him to go to the store and buy a box of tampons or maxi-pads or somesuch.
Was the guy in the commercial a tall, athletic black man?
Response #19
By: Capt. Spastic
Date: 3/8/01 9:01:59 PM
Rox
"What on earth is the purpose of such an ad? Do men have some dark secret life where they go through their wives' bathroom cabinets and open all of her feminine products out of sheer curiosity?"
DAMN!
Another secret out!
Response #20
By: Gowan McGland
Date: 3/8/01 10:40:54 PM
I like the Smirnof Ice commercial with the bear and the honey.
Smirnof Ice
Response #21
By: Capt. Spastic
Date: 3/12/01 8:50:28 AM
Gowan:
"I like the Smirnof Ice commercial with the bear and the honey."
He-he.
That one is good.
Response #22
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/19/01 2:22:42 PM
Would someone just PULL THE PLUG on the Britney Spears Pepsi video, already? (Oh, I don't mind Britney slithering across the stage, it's Bob Dole who bugs.)
Response #23
By: Gowan McGland
Date: 10/19/01 8:42:19 PM
What's funny is Britney been in trouble lately with the Pepsi people. She's been caught on film twice in the last month drinking products from the competition.
Response #24
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 10/20/01 3:00:13 AM
At least her hair didn't catch on fire.
Response #25
By: bob
Date: 10/20/01 11:11:17 AM
hahahahahaha
Response #26
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/20/01 1:51:13 PM
Gowan, that is just TOO funny.
Response #27
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 10/20/01 3:33:00 PM
There's been a bevy of bear-related beer commercials. Molson with their Canadian bear who can't get beer because he's only 7, the honey add, the one with the guys who attack the bears in their campsite because they might get the beer, and so forth.
Is it simply because someone made a typo while copying some ad somewhere, and spelled 'beer' as 'bear?'
Response #28
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/20/01 3:37:13 PM
ExACTly.
Response #29
By: Gowan McGland
Date: 10/21/01 12:01:48 AM
There's another one where a guy is trying to get fresh fish for his company and he sneaks up on a bear that's fishing in a river with his paw.
When the bear sees what the guy is doing, he puts up his fists and they start to fight and the bear even used fancy footwork.
The thing that strikes me most about it is that the bear (and the surrounding bears doing the same thing) looks ABSOLUTELY real up until the point they start boxing. The shot never ends, either. It's a continuous shot and it's just amazingly well done.
Response #30
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 10/21/01 12:29:31 AM
I feel a need to interject some reality here:
If you fight a bear, you'll DIE. If you squirt your buddy with honey, you'll BOTH DIE. If you don't sell beer to an underage bear, you'll DIE.
Just thought I'd mention.
Response #31
By: Gowan McGland
Date: 10/21/01 11:30:07 AM
Aww, bears are cuddly.
Response #32
By: sooz
Date: 10/22/01 5:42:59 AM
Like Smokey the Bear. And the Three Bears. And the Chicago bears. And that bear in the Jungle Book that dances around with Mowgli, singing about the Bear Necessities.
Response #33
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/22/01 8:30:25 AM
Baloo the Bear! I love that song!
Response #34
By: Roxanne
Date: 10/22/01 1:51:18 PM
Don't forget the Gay Bears!
Response #35
By: Gowan McGland
Date: 10/22/01 2:42:57 PM
Berenstein Bears.
That Bear Jamboree thing at Disney.
Pooh Bear.
Response #36
By: bob
Date: 10/22/01 3:27:19 PM
the gay bears? is that the same as the "hair bear bunch"
Response #37
By: sooz
Date: 10/22/01 3:34:27 PM
Care Bears.
Response #38
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/22/01 5:24:16 PM
Gummi bears! My favorite bears of all!
Response #39
By: sooz
Date: 10/23/01 8:02:54 AM
I can't bear it anymore.
Response #40
By: Roxanne
Date: 10/23/01 9:45:48 AM
I can bearly think of any more bearable puns.
Response #41
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/23/01 10:40:40 AM
I'm bearly breathing, 'cuz I'm laughing so hard!
Response #42
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 10/24/01 12:01:19 AM
There's something bruin here, but I'm not sure what it is. I'm sure it'll pizzle out shortly, however.
Response #43
By: sooz
Date: 10/24/01 6:18:04 AM
BAHAHA! (wild applause)
The puns are getting absolutely grizzly in here.
Response #44
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/24/01 10:27:24 AM
I looooove hot BLACK BEARy pie. Mmmmmm. With ice cream. The POLAR opposite temperatures make it an almost unBEARably orgasmic experience.
Response #45
By: Gowan McGland
Date: 10/24/01 11:22:28 AM
I'd make a bear pun, but I'm stuck on the "unBEARably orgasmic experience".
Response #46
By: Roxanne
Date: 10/24/01 1:44:51 PM
Ursine things. Ursa sure are!
Response #47
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/25/01 8:48:30 AM
Bear with me here, while I stop laughing. I can bearly breathe!!
Response #48
By: WitchHazel
Date: 10/26/01 10:28:41 AM
I can't bear to see the bear-thread end!
Response #49
By: Gowan McGland
Date: 10/26/01 11:33:28 AM
Here's the commercial I was talking about:
http://www.adcritic.com/content/john-west-red-salmon-bear-fight.html