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By: Roxanne
Date: 10/2/00 8:05:59 PM
# Replies: 14
I am sure you were all on the edge of your seats tonight while Fox broadcast the first ever all male "beauty" pageant! Single, studly men pranced forward to proudly represent their home states in a nearly exact replica of the female pageants. Contestants were judged on looks, butts, swim-wear, evening wear and their intelligence at answering very frank and candid questions such as "Is there any such thing as 'bad' sex?" and "Where's the most provocative place you've ever had sex?"
Spoiler alert!The gentleman representing Virginia won the $100,000 grand prize and the title of "Sexiest Bachelor in America"
Sure, it was a FOX show. Sure, it was highly probably that most of the "bachelors" were actually "confirmed bachelors" if ya get my drift. Sure, it was a flesh fest of sexual exploitation complete with cat calls, whistles and mock strip scenes.
But dammit! It sure was fun to watch the mens!!!!
Response #1
By: Ralf
Date: 10/3/00 5:57:46 AM
"What is the most provacative place you've ever had sex?"
They never ask Miss America that!
I think they shoulda slicked them up in Crisco then turned a busload of horny 40-something heat-flashing divorcees loose onto the stage.
Beeg fun ensues.
Response #2
By: sooz
Date: 10/3/00 6:11:42 AM
No talent competition?
Response #3
By: Gowan McGland
Date: 10/3/00 7:44:12 AM
That *was* the talent competition.
Response #4
By: Roxanne
Date: 10/3/00 1:00:30 PM
The closest thing to a talent competition was during the evening wear segment when five lucky 'random' members of the audience got to briefly slow dance with each of the finalists. Only two of the men appeared to actually be able to dance.
I must say, I had to give them credit for their choice of interview questions. It was much more real and down-to-earth than the flaky Miss America "change the world with your one sentence wisdom" crap.
Other questions asked of the mens:
"Let's say you are in a committed relationship. You get the opportunity to have sex with a celebrity. There is no way your girlfriend will ever find out about it. Do you do it?"
"Your girlfriend has approached you with the suggestion that you have a three-some with her and an attractive female friend of hers. Do you?"
"What is the toughest thing about being in a committed relationship?"
"What's the best excuse you've ever given to get out of a date?"
Response #5
By: Ralf
Date: 10/3/00 1:51:33 PM
"You're stranded 2 million years in the future and the Morlocks are chasing after you. Do you (a) stop to save the girl, or (b) stop to save the time machine?"
Response #6
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 10/3/00 4:37:57 PM
Rox, I'm about to reveal to you a secret of the society of men, and I fear dire consequences. If you never hear from me again, you'll know why.
However, it seems important enough that I tell you.
The 'change the world with one sentence' question is intentionally stupid. Any woman who would even attempt to answer that question has answered it correctly, for the purposes of the pageant, and the panting men who are too dumb to deal with real women.
Response #7
By: Gowan McGland
Date: 10/3/00 5:31:49 PM
Yes.
Yes.
See previous two questions.
What's a date?
Response #8
By: Roxanne
Date: 10/3/00 10:33:58 PM
Homer: I *knew* there was a secret society of men!
I also knew that the "change the world" question is ludicrous because they are asking a 20 year old baton-twirling bow-head from Mississippi and her answer is being graded by a panel of celebrity has-beens!
Response #9
By: Da Sissop
Date: 10/5/00 4:48:06 AM
Response #10
By: Ralf
Date: 10/5/00 5:56:04 AM
Man, talk about a logistics challenge.
Or maybe we could do it in shifts...
Response #11
By: Homer The Brave
Date: 10/5/00 11:15:49 AM
At least he's not trying to buy the world a Coke.
Response #12
By: Capt. Spastic
Date: 10/11/00 9:41:46 PM
Everyone knows...
White Men Can't Dance!
Response #13
By: Zane T. Dark
Date: 10/12/00 9:44:34 AM
Unless being shot at...
Response #14
By: Capt. Spastic
Date: 10/12/00 11:11:01 PM
Yeah, but that kinda throws the rhytmn off.