|  |
|
| |
By: Roxanne
Date: 11/1/01 11:02:24 AM
# Replies: 11
I am *still* shaking, I am so angry. My step-son's mother didn't let him come over for trick-or-treating last night because he'd had a bathroom accident at school yesterday! Way to scar a kid for life, huh? She thinks he should be "punished" when he has an accident because she thinks he's just lazy about going potty. I was with the kids the whole month of July and stepson did not have one accident; he very rarely has accidents when he's with us. This just started since school began again; it could be a stress-related thing or more likely, he has a condition called "encopresis" where he gets constipated and can't tell when he has the potty urge. He is completely embarrassed and humiliated when he has an accident; he's 6 years old, poor baby, he doesn't know how to handle it when he does have an accident. He tries to hide the evidence because he's ashamed and afraid of being punished. From all I've read about it, the worst thing to do is to punish him because he can't help it! Would you punish your child if he vomited at school? No, because you'd know he was sick and you'd want to find out what the problem is. But not his mother; she's too concerned with her own embarrassment about having to pick up her child from school. How dare he do something like that!
My husband tried to reason with her, but she wouldn't hear it. She just said that he had to be punished and taking Halloween away from him was to be the punishment. Give me a break! It's not even remotely related to what happened! What's next? Is she going to take Christmas away from him for having an accident?
End of rant (for now)
Response #1
By: WitchHazel
Date: 11/1/01 12:58:05 PM
Dammit. That is just WRONG.
We don't even PUNISH my stepdaughter. The whole three years I've known her, I've only seen my husband pissed at her ONCE (they were wrestling and she forcefully hit him, because she was frustrated that he was stronger). So, I'm *almost* against punishing PERIOD. Let alone when a kid is just "learning" to control bodily functions. My stepdaughter once had an "accident" while we were camping last summer. So? That's why you bring extra pairs of underwear, right?!?!?
I feel your pain, Rox.
Response #2
By: sooz
Date: 11/1/01 4:23:05 PM
Rox, I am SO SORRY. That's completely horrible.
I'm not opposed to non-physical punishment (I have a teenager), as long as it reflects what's going to happen in real life. (My parenting goal: To raise Jimmy to be a good adult.) In real life, no one punishes you for a medical or stress-related problem.
Again, I am so very, very sorry.
Response #3
By: Cleotis
Date: 11/8/01 5:19:10 PM
Some days I wish I could be grounded and be forced to stay at home with my kids.
Response #4
By: WitchHazel
Date: 11/9/01 11:05:34 AM
We're taking my stepdaughter for the whole summer next summer, and I'm damn happy about it. It will be a great experience for us AND for her. Plus, by then, her other parents will have another baby, and she'll need to get away where she is the center of attention again. ;-) (I think it's hard for an only-child who is 9yo to suddenly NOT be an only child.)
Response #5
By: Seventh of Seven
Date: 11/9/01 1:13:51 PM
i disagree witch--i think that, since the siblings will be so spread out in age, she'll end up being able to do some 'grown-up' tasks for the baby, and feel more like she's blossoming into a woman.
of course, i say all this without knowing the girl in question.
Response #6
By: Gowan McGland
Date: 11/10/01 7:39:34 AM
AHA! He posted the same message twice?
Response #7
By: sooz
Date: 11/10/01 2:49:45 PM
I second that aha, and agree with SOS. I've known a lot off siblings that are spread out that far that do really well. But hey, the breaks with you and dad have got to be great for her! :-)
Response #8
By: bob
Date: 11/10/01 4:00:50 PM
whew, so no barbi twins
Response #9
By: WitchHazel
Date: 11/10/01 10:47:22 PM
Well, I know from personal experience, the first couple of months can be overwhelming for a child. Then again, she is a very, VERY helpful girl, and she'll probably have maternal instincts toward her new baby sister, like *I* eventually did with my brother (I was 7). But in any case, *I* am welcoming the change of pace, having her around most of the summer.
Response #10
By: Roxanne
Date: 11/10/01 10:58:26 PM
Witchy: I didn't realize you were a step-mama too! *high five*
And you are an older sister with a baby brother 7 years younger! *high ten*
Response #11
By: WitchHazel
Date: 11/11/01 10:33:31 AM
*High Ten* chicky-poo!